Let's Think About Death For A Moment.

The Ash Wednesday sermon is here.

We Christians Should be More Outraged.

see Sarah Palin pictures

Weekend Round-up

(I am going to have to start rerunning titles because I am running out of synonyms for "recap.")

Well, one of the high points of the weekend was being able to preach one of my favorite sermons. I wrote this a few years ago and have been able to preach it about three or four times. It does just about everything I think a perfect sermon should do: It has pop-culture references. It tires the references back to theological truths. It catches your attention. It is applicable to our lives. It draws us into the church and sends us out into the world. I even had a friend remind me of part of it. (More on that later.)

The job situation still is causing me problems. I just don't want to be doing this anymore. But the feeling of being trapped is just overwhelming and the thought of quitting is untenable. That is the trapping aspect.

I was able to chat with a friend from the church about the whole job/church thing. She helped me to keep in mind that I need to remain present but not entangled. She also helped me to find some ways of moving beyond what is happening and see that there really is a future beyond Starbucks. And she also reminded me of my sermon and helped me to look at the light of Christ instead of the dim light of the world. The job is a tool. It is not an end point. I need to keep remembering this.

Nick and I did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING on Saturday and it was WONDERFUL! We just sat on our butts, watched the snow fall, and played computer games. Sometimes that is what is needed; no pressure to do anything. We all need days like this.

Now it is time to start a new week. I feel my anxiety level is going up, but hopefully I will be able to keep it in check.

I just want to tell the world how blessed I have been to have Nick. Even when I am freaking out, he has been calm and supportive. My actions have serious impact on him but he still manages to keep his perspective, even when I have lost all perspective. He reads my blog so I just want to let him know that I love him more every day.

Ok, enough of the sappy stuff.

While talking with my friend, she also gave me some perspective on what is happening in the church. She has let me know that there have been some really positive changes happening in the congregation. She said we actually appeared to be "church," which is something new for this congregation. So even though I may not see change, because I do not have perspective, change is happening. And not just change for changes sake, but positive change.

So I guess the weekend did what it should do, it provided a time of renewal: and that is good!

Peace to all...

Talent?

Even if I could do this, I don't know if I would.

Do You Suffer From SAD?

This Sunday's sermon is here.

Preach It!

see Sarah Palin pictures

Drag Race!

(h/t to Cake Wrecks)

This just in!

We always knew Barbie was just a beard! Ken has been seen on RuPaul's Drag Race in this beautiful party dress. He looks good enough to eat!

The Continuing Saga of the Starbucks Job

SO...

I went to work today. I had want to speak with my boss and try to work some things out. (Now remember, she was trying to talk me into staying.) But it seemed like any time I tried to bring up the conversation, she was busy.

Then I called to explain that I was going to be off work soon. My boss still wanted to speak with me and told me that she would be over. A half hour later and 15 minutes of overtime, I went home. No call, no show, obviously no concern.

I guess the two-weeks still stands.

Venting My Spleen

I sure hope this helps me to get to sleep!

I quit my job this evening. I had had enough of all the shinanaigans that go on there. I felt like I was babysitting. At least babysitters get $10 per hour, not a measely $8 I am currently getting.

I really do try hard to do the best job that I can, but when you have management that shirks their duties, it makes it hard. And when you have coworkers that appear to not care at all, it makes it almost impossible. And if no one around me cares, then why should I care? I end up feeling like a fool.

I know I am not irreplacable, but with the current staff they have, it is going to be difficult. But I just don't care anymore. I hate the person I have become since working there. I hate the way I feel like I have to resort to being a child to get anything to happen. I try to conduct myself with some sense of decorum, but the only way anyone seems to notice is if you scream and stomp your feet.

I did get talked into going back tomorrow, but we will see how long this will last.

Update

Just a note to keep you up on what has been happening. I am doing better today. I am hoping to get outside and get some sun, that should help.

And Now For Something Totally Different....

(h/t to Joe.My.God)

The Spector of Depression

Sorry this is a long whine. You may want to click on something else now!

Lately it has been like a shadow that passes by the window that you catch out of the corner of your eye. But more and more, it seems to be hanging around, looking in and trying the door.

I should be happy. I have a great partner who is understanding, helpful, supportive. He loves me and cares about me even when I am not a whole lot of fun to be around. And I do have a job and a church job. In this economy that in and of itself should make me happy. I have a place to live and some critters to push me off the futon.

But my energy level always feels low. (Was the word "level" intentionally palindromic?) I always feel tired no matter how much sleep I get. And I feel eternally edgy. It is at times like this that I hate being around myself. And, of course, that feeling just compounds the other feelings.

Tired, cranky, edgy, unpleasant.

I preach all kinds of high ideals, but incorporating those ideals into my life seems to be an exercise in futility. How pathetic is that, a preacher who will not even pay attention to his own sermons.

I have enough self-awareness to know that most of what I am feeling is, not necessarily inappropriate, but overblown. I know that something else is going on that is blowing these feelings out of proportion. The problem is that fighting these feelings just makes me tired.

I am tired of being tired.

No "Santa Jesus" Here!

This Sunday's sermon can be found here.

Happy Valentine's Day

Did you know that St. Valentine is the Patron Saint of Epilepsy?

Triskaidekaphobia

Happy Friday the 13th!

(Click to embiggen)

I saw this on facebook and thought it was hilarious!

Nostalgia

(Summer 1987 or so)

I have been hanging around Facebook a lot lately. I have found people I have not seen nor talked to in over 20 years. What seems amazing is that in some ways, it is as if we have never parted. Granted, right now we are all just reliving our pasts, but we are also learning about how each other has grown and changed. People talking about their children. People I knew as teens talking about breaking out a bottle of wine. Although things have stayed the same, some things have defanately changed!

I don't know if nostalgia is such a good thing, though. We only seem to remember the good times, this puts a lot of pressure on daily life. Daily life is a combination of good and bad times. When we selectively remember only the good times, our present cannot ever hope to compete.

I guess one of the things that makes me sad about all the nostalgia is looking back at all of the old pictures. I used to think I was fat and ugly. I look at that picture now and my thought is, "I was kinda hot!" But I would never have stated that before.

I keep thinking about the sound "Everyone's Free (to wear sunscreen)" as I write this. It seems like my youth was a waste. All the things I didn't do because I was afraid. All the people I didn't approach because I thought I was ugly. The only satisfaction that I can take from this that I would not be the person I am today without these past experiences. Would I be a better person if I took these risks? I don't know. Would I be a worse person? I don't know that either. I can never know. All that I know is I think I am pretty ok, so I guess my past did its job ok.

Please do read through the words to "Everyon's Free" they are pretty simple but sometimes we need to be reminded of the simple things. Reminds me of preaching to pastors: They need to hear Jesus loves them too!

Easter 1971

Six year-old Ben, such a fashion plate with my stylin' fedora!

Just Go Out There And Do Something

For what it is worth, here is this Sunday's sermon.

Oh So True!

more animals

Tea-Rista

Dr. Ur-Spo, I am pleased to tell you that I am now officially certified in the fine art Tea. After tasting over 20 different teas, I now have my tea certification pin!

"Aftermath"

"Aftermath" is the word that I guess fits. Not really in the sense that what is happening is horrible, but in the way of having something big happen and then having to deal with "what comes next."

Work yesterday was terrible! I kept thinking, "I am going to be able to quit!" If this goes through, I will be able to quit this whole thing. But the problem is that the full-time stuff won't be able to happen until August. I keep trying to put a positive spin on the job (I work here so I can keep the church job) but it really doesn't make things that much easier.

I just wish I could get out of this job. We have three SBX in a one mile area. And with all of the talk of closures, it is making all of us (at least those of us over 25) nervous. The younger ones are just being kids, but in this market, we need to outshine our neighbors, not just keep up.

I also really want a vacation, not just a couple of days off. Unfortunately, the "couple days off" end up being used for church stuff, not really getting away. Even if we go somewhere, there is always the thought of "is the sermon done?"

But the other good thing with the possibility of full-time is HEALTH INSURANCE! It will be nice to have it again after almost three years.

So, life goes on. The full-time thing is not written in stone. I need to make sure that I don't jump onto it just because it is there. But at this point, it sounds like something good.

OK, All Together Now: "Awww..."

more animals

He Saw His Shadow!

Anyone know a good (or even not so good) taxidermist?

Did You Hear It?

I think there was a cosmic "thunk!"

I met with the Bishop on Friday. It was a great meeting. There are some really wonderful things in process. Hopefully when this is all over, I will have a full-time church job. I would be working with two churches; my current church and a large, downtown church. Between the two, I would have a full-time job.

There would be the opportunity for some cross-pollination between the churches also. This would be very helpful for the church that I am at currently. They are a small group and having access to a larger church and its resources would be great.

Nick's job in Lansing, our moving back to Lansing, a position opening...

It is hard to wait, but when it all falls together, well, God is there.

This is not a done deal, but it is definitely in the process.

More details as they become available.

WWJD

The sermon for Sunday can be found here.

Cello Scrotum is a HOAX!

Whew!


See the story here.

Ironic Statement of the Day

Overheard while walking through the back room of the store:

"You think you are so wise, you can't even talk English."

Oh, Give Me A Break!

Click to enlarge

(h/t to Failblog)

Can people really be this stupid?

UPDATE: The woman continues to be in denial that her son is gay. Of course he can't be gay, they are good Christians! When will this stupidity end.

Actually, I started finding this humorous, but now I just find it sad. I feel sad for this poor boy who will grow up thinking that he is a boil on the butt of God.

11 Months to Go!

\'Aut\ and About

Nick and I went to the Plymouth Ice Sculpture Festival today. It was my idea and I guess it was kind of a mixed bag. Yes there were some nice ice sculptures, but the crowds were horrible! The people trying to move on the sidewalks was impossible. And what is it with people bringing their dogs to things like this? Dogs just add to the congestion.

Above was a wonderful sculpture of a mermaid in the waves. Click on the picture to enlarge it.

After we escaped from the crowds, we walked around Plymouth. We found this cool art gallery and went inside. The most interesting piece was a life-sized sculpture of the photo below.


Afterward, we went to the \'Aut\ Bar for dinner. It is a nice place and there is something about being in a place where being gay is okay.

Then we headed home so I could finish my sermon and work on my report for the Annual Meeting at church.

Hope everyone had a great day!

Christianity Will Mess Up Your Life

This Sunday's sermon can be found here.

Legendary Service Award

Well, at the risk of tooting my own horn:

I have won a Legendary Service Award

for the second time in about four months!

I guess if you are going to pour coffee, then you might as well do a good job of it!

Heh heh...I Hope She Takes Her Rings Off...

Critter Comment

Claudia and Madeline comment on today's Inaugural Activities: "Ho Hum..."

Sacred Cows

I find the whole concept of "Sacred Cows" interesting. At the church where I am serving, we have a little bell that is a sacred cow. This is a small bell that has a cross on the top of it.

It was used as the way of telling people to stop chatting in the narthex and come into the sanctuary. The first time it happened, I had this vision of herding cattle.

This is the only church I have ever been associated with that needed to be told that it is time to come into the sanctuary. Last Sunday, I started the service with only me and three other people there. My assisting minister was not even at the church yet.

I took the bell away because I figured that if worship were an important thing to people, then adults could be there on time. One lady just about popped an aneurysm when the bell was gone!

OMG!! I may leave and never come back and they would not know where the bell was!! (Yes, that was her worry. She told me so!)

So when I started the service on time (mind you!) with no one in the sanctuary, the comment was that if we had the bell, people would have been there.

I held firm and said that they were all adults and should know how to schedule their time. (Not quite that abrupt, but that general thought,)

Then the "Bell Woman" agreed that we should be able to make it in on time, but maybe if we had the "bell sitting there where we could see it, it would remind us to go in." (!) She was still worried what was going to happen to that DAMN BELL!

The lady who complained that we needed the bell had to tell me that ringing bells is traditional in churches. (Really?) I told her that if they wanted to ring the bell outside I am all for that! GREAT!! Let's ring it! (I don't think she was amused.)

They do have a bell outside and I was not kidding when I said we should ring the outside bell. Let the neighborhood know we are here! But the little indoor bell, no way.

I did concede that we could set the bell out, but not ring it. So the Bell Woman came into my office, got the bell, and then proceeded to tell us how "beautiful" this bell was. "So much better than the cross we have out there." (There is a cross on the top of the bell.)

So tell me: What do you think, am I being unreasonable?

Koyaanisqatsi

I saw this movie for the first time in an empty campground out under the stars. A great statement on our world and on our lives. What got me the most were the scenes of the people going on the escalators, people seemed to be going places but the situation never seems to change. A great movie. I hope you take 90 minutes to watch it and think about it.

Come and See!

Sunday's sermon is here. This was a joint effort of Nick and me.

Amber Goes To The Spa

Amber had an appointment to get her hair cut today. Since it was below zero Fahrenheit. She shook the entire way to the groomer. Even with her parka on it was COLD! On the way home, Nick decided to ditch the parka and just wrap her in a blanket. She spend the rest of the day huddled under the blankets on the bed. Smart doggie!

A Funny Thing Happened...

At TACO BELL

I was coming home from work and decided, against my pledge to never go to Taco Bell again (a long story) to go to Taco Bell. I didn't order my favorite because you can no longer get it as "meal deal" (part of the long story) but I did get the chilupas with a soft shell taco.

When I got to the window, they handed me the bag and I was on my way.

I pulled out the taco and found that it was a hard shell. No bother, this has happened before. It was also a taco supreme. Again no problem, I just took off the tomatoes. Then I went to reach for a chilupa and all I found in the bag was more tacos supreme.

I quickly turned around to return the tacos.

I was a little miffed at having to go into the store, I just wanted to get home, but I also didn't want a bunch of tacos. So I walked in and said that I went through the drive thru and all I got was a bunch of tacos. The girl at the window said, "Oh! Good!" and took the bag from me.

Before I even had a chance to tell the girl that I had eaten one of the tacos, she had handed it out the window and the woman in the drive thru was on her way. Then the girl at the window started to yell at another person in the kitchen that I could not see. I felt like I was at a dinner party and the hosts get into a squabble.

The manager sent the window girl on a break and the girl sat down and immediately strarted to text someone. And I waited to see if I was going to get my chilupas. (I had a similar thing happen at McDonalds and I never got my food until I finally complained. Then they made my sandwich correctly. (But that is another long story!)) I finally got my food and walked out the door. At this point, I was going to claim whatever they gave me.

The questions I have:

• What did kids do before they could become "victimized" at low paying, fast-food jobs?
• How did the girl know I didn't do something nasty to the tacos in the bag?
• Did the woman ever notice that she was shorted one taco supreme?
• Why did I ever go back to Taco Bell?
  

Bye Bye, Fearless

I am half watching, half doing better things (that would be cruising blogs on-line) while Fearless Leader is giving his (THANK YOU JESUS!!!!!) last press conference. My! Aren't we being defensive!! Also, how many ways can you couch an answer and spin the facts?

Arrrggg....

Caption This!

(Thanks to Queerclick)

The Double Bind

I find it amazing how old, deep seated, thought patterns can rear their ugly heads.

One of my early memories is my dad yelling at me to get out of his site because I can't do anything right. I was about seven years old when this happened. You would think that I would be able to look back at this situation and realize that it has a whole lot to do with my dad and nothing to do with me. But, alas, it is still there, still ready to rear its ugly head. And rear its ugly head it does.

The main way it shows up is in the form of doubt.

I strive for perfection. I can't make perfection. I get frustrated. I begin to blame things that go wrong on my inability for perfection. I look at every job and assume that because I cannot do them perfectly, that I should not even try to do the job. It also takes the form of wanting perfection from those who are around me. I can be a cruel taskmaster.

I get so frustrated because I know that anything I do I will screw up. It is actually this thought pattern that kept me from going to med school. It is also this thought process that tends to prevent from doing more things with stained glass. I can't do it perfectly. I see other peoples' projects that have better cuts and better soldier lines. I look upon my own and see flaws.

But, back to the whole perfection thing. Quite often I get into a whole funk about never getting hired. I look at my lack of perfection and the thought that would come out is "I would never hire me."

Then I see situations such as work and find myself in a double bind: I want to do my best at my job but am surrounded by people who could care less. I do my job and my coworkers are more than willing to let me do everything. But if I let things go, then I hear my dad say, "you can't do anything right." Then I worry if I am being too demanding about my job. I do the job right and I incur the wrath of my coworkers. I do it half-assed and I feel like I am stealing from my employer.

I am not asking for encouragement or anything like that. I know what I am feeling is illogical. But welcome to my world. I hope getting this out may help to me to move beyond the need for perfection. But I doubt it. If I can't perfectly be nonperfect, I am not going to do it!

Marketing Marches On!!

I just saw this in a store today. This is almost earlier than the Christmas push. *shakes head*

Out Into The Wilderness

Sunday's sermon can be found here.

Tech Vs. THE DOG!

(thanks to Gizmodo)

Proof of Biblical Genetic Engineering

This Proves It! They had genetic engineering in Biblical times. However, we cannot be sure exactly what we are seeing as we do not have a frame of reference. Are we:

1. Learning that Jesus is actually part of a race of giants?
2. Learning that Biblical scientists have perfected the art of miniaturizing cows and donkeys?
3. Learning that there were species of miniature donkeys and cows that are now extinct?
   

You will notice that Mary, Joseph, and Jesus are MUCH larger than the animals that are around them. This photo will have to be further investigated to see if this is an actual Biblical Photo or a hoax.

I Am So Glad Heteros Are Such Good Parents

I saw this story over at Pam's House Blend. But, of course, this is a good way to treat children because these people are good heterosexual parents.

I Think They Broke Me

Sorry Friends, but I think the place has gotten to me. I think the world has gotten to me. I am stuck in that horrible place where I still care but don't have the energy to care. That place where the those who do a half-assed job get promoted while those who have some kind of work ethic get stuck doing the work.

Unfortunately, this seems to be the way of the world. From Madoff to Wall Street, those who work are the ones who get f*cked. Maybe we just need to all go away and allow things to start over again.

We won't call it "Going Postal" we will call it "Going Barista."

Terrorism Is Alive and (Unfortunately) Well

Yes, so much for "love the sinner." Sorry, you don't love somebody and want to kill them. You don't even just threaten to kill them.

This letter was sent to eleven gay bars in Seattle. Yes, 2009, the year of change and nothing seems to have changed. Stupid scared people are still threatening the one thing they are afraid of. Instead of looking their fear in the eye and facing up to it, they must put on this whole bravado thing and, more frighteningly my even follow through with it.

I am so quickly losing any faith I had in humanity. Sometimes I think it might just be better if we all just blew each other up and allowed the world start all over again. New flood but this time with no ark. People, in general are a crock of s**t. All you humanists out there, GET A CLUE!

The World Wide Weird

You have to love the little gizmos that you can add to your blog. They make life interesting. Just recently I have had a bunch of people hit on my post about bouch fup. I saw people were coming to the blog through Google and through a site called Theoryland. I was able to link to Theoryland and found this post on a message board:

I got a Christmas ornament this year that was a red tin sign...it just said:

SNOW
and underneath had a little metal sign saying "bouch fup"

anyone know what Bouch Fup means? I tried to find it online with a lot of random links. A couple said "Bridge Fail" which I thought was probably an incorrect translation.

Help from the Europeans?

: )

On a later post, someone linked to my blog.

I couldn't believe someone else got the ornament and couldn't figure out what it said either! All around bad marketing in my opinion. What is also funny is that someone actually gave the ornament as a gift! I wonder if the giver knew what the ornament said?

At work, I asked about 10 people what the words were. One was able to figure it out.

Ah, life on the web.

Happy Twelfth Night

Happy Twelfth Night!

No real traditions on this side of the monitor. I tried to start a tradition at my first church of getting together and singing Christmas carols and burning Christmas trees. Kind of a "So long" to Christmas. But personally, no traditions. My brother's birthday is tomorrow and when I was a kid, this would mark the date we would take down the Christmas tree.

Well, the Christmas tree is already down. Much of the decoration is put away. But take a moment to celebrate the last day of Christmas, maybe even sing We Three Kings!

The Weird Web

I was looking at the stats of my blog and saw an interesting reference link. I went to the link and found a quote from a post I wrote a few years back. I sometimes forget that the stuff that was written, even years ago, is still out there. It is just weird when it pops up again.

Weekend Rehash

Well, as weekends are wont to do, this one is coming to an end. And, of course, with the end of the weekend comes the dread of the work week. Also, with the end of the weekend comes the evaluation of the weekend.

First, the dread of the work week. I wish I would get excited about work. I would like to be excited and look forward to what I am doing. the problem is that this job is really BORING! For the most part, I like the people I work with. But I am just not intellectually stimulated by the job. I would love to spend more time doing the church things.

Ok, now we have the weekly rant about the job out of the way. Now on to the weekend.

It was actually a wonderful weekend. I got my sermon done early because I reran one of my favorites. So, with that done, it meant that Nick and I had Saturday off together. This doesn't happen too often.

So, having time off, I looked for something intriguing to do. I found Marvin's Marvelous Mechanical Museum. It was a lot of fun. A lot of interesting things to be seen.

This was an "angel" who would tell you about your love life. It was definitely freaky. He had little wings that flapped, he wore a diaper, and his legs moved. As I said, kind of freaky.

I also saw this odd specimen in the place. VERRRRRYYYYY FRRRRIIIGHTENING!!!

We then did some bumming around around in the suburban Detroit area. I managed to get a clerical shirt that finally fits right. I hate having to order shirts and then have to wait to see if they fit right. Well, I finally got to try some shirts on in order to find one that fit!

Of course, it would do me no good because worship had to be canceled today because of ice. Now, this would have been wonderful if I hadn't been only nine miles away from the church when the ice started. The last nine miles were spent going 15 mph. Acceleration caused me to fishtail and braking started skids. When I got to the church, I slid past the entrance to the parking lot and then ended up parking sideways because the parking lot was total ice. So even though I had a new shirt, no one got to see it. Oh well.

I finally got home and Nick made it home. Then Nick had to go to work. I was tired of sitting at home, but too lazy to go anywhere. So... I took down the Christmas tree.

I don't like taking down the tree; it is the final reminder that the promises that society makes to us about Christmas failed to materialize. So the tree is down. The decorations are not totally gone but getting there. The world just seems less friendly after Christmas.

Are You Going To Answer The Door?

This Sunday's sermon can be found here.

Polite Discourse

Since when has it become ok to drop the F-bomb in general public conversation? I was working, making coffee not preaching, when someone came up and ordered. Then within the less than five minutes it took to make the drink, the guy dropped the F-bomb over 10 times! That is more than in the movie Knocked Up! What I hated is that I tacitly encouraged this behavior by not saying anything. But then again, I would probably lose my job if I did say anything.

Sometimes I wish I had a snap-on clerical collar or something that I could just turn away and pop it on and then turn back. Or quickly switch out my name tag to one that says, "Fr. Benton Q."

I don't think I am a prude, but it just floors me how this word just gets tossed around as if it is nothing.