Annual Meeting Aftermath

Well, the meeting went better than the I had anticipated.  Of course, the "interesting members" were not there.  I guess this is a blessing.  It was also nice having the observer from the Bishop's office there.  She is a great person and I think she did help to keep things in line.

I have one board member, a friend of the former secretary, who was not at the Annual Meeting.  The observer from the Bishop's office, was not happy and was about to remove here right then.  I am going to contact the person to see what is happening,  We may have one more person leaving the congregation.  Hopefully, at this point, the major poison will be moving out of the system.

So, What's Been Happening Here?

Well, tomorrow should be interesting.

It is the Annual Meeting.  I am not sure what is going to happen.  I am hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

In preparation, I have an observer from the Bishop's office coming.  Hopefully people will more likely be on their best behavior if we have "company."  I just hope that people will not get nutzo.

As I said before, I sent out  a "play nice or leave" letter.  It was a good letter if I do say so, myself.  I did tell them that I was not kicking them out, but they would need to change their behavior.  I got a letter for the Former Secretary telling me that the letter was hateful and she cannot understand why I am making mountains out of mole hills, that my attitude is what is toxic, and that speaking to my colleagues and finding out about the history of the congregation is rumor-mongering.  She still claims utter innocence on any of this.

I know that I am probably over reacting to this, but it is what it is.  I know that it is a catastrophic response, and I am taking the drugs that I need to take.  But I still am of the assumption that something needs to change here (and quickly!) or I need to go.  When I have extreme abdominal pain and I actually get excited because if I am in the hospital I don't have to deal with the Annual Meeting, I think this is very telling.  So either I need therapy, the congregation needs therapy, or most likely, we both need therapy.

I am actually planning on doing a preemptive strike by addressing the letter to the Former Secretary and the rumors she has been spreading that I kicked them out.  Hopefully by bringing it up first, it will defuse any plans they had.  I hate speaking like I am going to battle, but that is how it feels.

Maybe I should also keep with my initial plan and have a letter of resignation ready, just in case.

New Year Check-in

Well, I know I haven't been too good about blogging.  I really didn't want to be whining all the time.  Things here in St. Swithin's Land have been pretty intense.  I just love getting hate mail and having false accusations thrown around.  I love it when the Bishop says we need to get over our differences and then the moment he walks out the door having two board members start attacking.  Even after the Bishop told the board that they were NOT my boss, the attacks continued.

Now we have the situation where one of the board members complained during the entire Christmas Eve service that it was not being done right and that we were not singing the right songs and all of this should have been planned weeks before...only to find that she left a resignation letter in my mail box.  If she was going to quit, why complain?  I have a degree in psych and I still don't get it.

The Bishop also told people that the Ministry Review was NOT a review of me.  But certain people kept saying that according to the contract, there needed to be a review.  Even after the Bishop said that he was my boss and he would decide when a review was needed, there was still argument that it was in the contract so it needed to occur.  (Again, the review IS for the congregation and the ministry of the congregation, not a review of me.)

What I find interesting is that the contract also says that I am supposed to get a physical every year, that they pay for, and I am supposed to get $500 for supplies that they are to pay for.  These points of the contract have conveniently ignored.

My anger with this situation is the selective reading of the contract:  when it suits them, they pick over it with a fine tooth comb; when it will cost them money, they conveniently ignore things.  Also, the Bishop said, "The contract is with me, not Fr. Ben.  If you have problems, contact me." (He is the first signature on it.)

So it has been a wonderful Christmas.  I am so ready to just walk away from the whole thing.  I find myself getting angry and easily irritated.  This is not fair to Nick at all.

A letter has been written which basically say to one couple in particular, "Your childish behavior needs to stop."  We will see how that goes over.  Probably like a fart in church.

Confusion and other updates

Ok, when I talked with the kids last week, on of the overwhelming comment that I heard was, "I can't sit still for an hour."  Now, this was not just from one kid, nor was it just from one family.  It was from almost every kid there.

WHAT IS UP?!?!?!

I feel old when I start doing, "When I was a kid..." but when I was a kid, we could, and did, sit through church.  We were able to sit for an hour and even if we were bored silly, we still sat there.  I will admit that I sat at the end of the pew so I could see what was going on, but that was pretty much it.

Did I always understand the sermon?  I RARELY understood the sermon.  But we were there and we sat through the service.  We did not get up and run down the aisle.  We did not go out an chat with our friends.  And, truthfully, I would have never thought of telling the priest that I could not sit through the service.

I heard Ed Friedman, author of Generation to Generation, call us the generation of perpetual novelty.  We seem to need to be constantly stimulated.  I know that I have some difficulty with this.  As I type this, music is on in the background, and if I were not sitting in my office, I would probably have a TV on.  But when our children cannot go from the grocery store to home without watching a movie, or cannot go five minutes without texting someone, that is insane!  A friend of mine told me that her daughter, age 12, sent/received over 6500 text messages during the last billing period!  THAT IS INSANE!

Now, I know that I do not have children, but what are we doing to our kids!  And are we giving them excuses for not developing?  You know that the kids that told me they could not sit still heard that from someone.  And what do they do at school?  Do we have ADD rooms for them?  Maybe the reason they never learned to sit still is because they never HAD to sit still?  Granted, it is not the most pleasant thing to learn, for the child or the adult, but it is something that can be learned.

Are we doing something to ourselves and our kids by having the perpetual stimulation?

I remember, when we would travel, we would play games, like the ABC game where you had to find the letters in the alphabet before you drove past a cemetery.  Or we learned to read the map.  (My father would even try "short cuts" we would suggest.) Or drew, or whatever.  We learned other ways to keep our minds occupied.  We learned skills.  Were long trips a drag?  Yes, but that is why we left at o'dark thirty!  At least we slept part of the way.  (Well, my sibs did, I still can't sleep in a car.)

Oh well....

Updates:  I sent the letter to Miss Diva concerning the no-preaching gig.  Have not heard back.  Heard from the Asst. to the Bishop who reassured me that even though she was friends with this family, she could not condone the behavior and had my back.  That brought much relief.

Nick is in Acapulco on a business trip.  (REALLY!!)  I worried all the flight time and I will worry all the time back.  But Continental Airlines has a fun thing that you can follow flights so I was able to watch his progress.  We also Skype so not only am I able to talk with him, but also see him.  (AND THE BEAUTIFUL PACIFIC OCEAN HE CAN SEE FROM HIS BALCONY!)  And what is great is that it is free!  Ok, so I ranted a bit about technology earlier, but it does have its benefits.

Oh well, all for now.  Have a great day and do something where you have to actively keep your mind occupied.

Oh What Fun

Aaarrrggg!!!

Well, over the weekend, our crew at work went from six to four.  That is right!  Four people to work 13 hours per day/ seven days per week.  And we are never supposed to leave the place empty.  So that means that we need people to cover for breaks.  Oh, and did I forget to mention that NONE of our supervisors know what we do? 

I have been trying to REDUCE my hours, especially with Christmas coming.  But do you think that is going to happen?  And we also have the Lead Barista who talks more than he works, even thought he would have you believe that the place would close down without him.  My response when someone asks if the Lead is working is:  "He is on the clock and in the store."

I have been trying to get out of the place, but I am usually beat by the time I get off work.  But I have been checking out the deployment page and there is something that looks good upstate!  It would be nice in that it would be close to Nick's congregation too!  I am guardedly optimistic.  And no, I am not interested in the congregation just because it is logistically optimum.  They also seem like a good place for ministry.  Our lease here is up in April, my contact with my current congregation is up in July.  Sometimes time just flies!  Seems like we just moved and that I just signed a contact.  But hopefully god has some things in store for us.  We really need some things to finally go right!

Peace to all..

Passive-Aggressive VS Sabotage

This may be one Dr. Ur-Spo could comment on...

I have been thinking of the difference between Passive-Aggressiveness and Sabotage. I was wondering if it is possible to be consciously passive-aggressive. My gut feeling was that it was not, that passive-aggressiveness was a more subconscious act. It seemed that passive-aggressive was the realm of those who do not feel they have any power or cannot handle the concept of placing themselves in harms way by standing up to the bully/aggressor/slave driver. So, to appease the ego and not alert the superego, the person acts out, but not in a readily identifiable way.

Now, for the person to KNOW what he or she is doing, I would say that the person (victim?) has moved into the realm of sabotage. The person is actively working to go against the wishes of the person (who believes himself/herself to be)in charge. The victim decides to actively do something to thwart the other.

I don't know which is worse. I think passive-aggressiveness can be worse for the company/whatever. A passive-aggressive person can slowly undermine some very well laid plans. Sabotage can very quickly cause problems, but these problems are usually easier to spot.

IDK. Just thinking about work and my feelings. I feel like I have moved to the point of actively wanting to sabotage work. I think I have the ego strength to NOT do it, but the daydreams help to make the job tolerable.

Addendum --  I also wonder if sabotage has to be a larger thing.  Making decaf instead of regular coffee, that is small.  Does that just make it a passive-aggressive action?  Or is it sabotage?  

Ass of the Month (Possibly Year!) Award

Braindead Riggata! (Not his real name, but actually, quite close!)

Yesterday, I called into work to see about getting the day off so I could go with Nick to make plans for his mother's funeral.

The above mentioned manager's response, "If you feel you need to go, then take the day off."

Now, if I called in and said that my wife's mother died, would I have gotten the same response? "If you feel the need to go with your wife, then take the day off." I highly doubt it. But, because I am gay, my relationships don't mean as much.

OF COURSE I FEEL THE NEED! DUH!!

Ranting at Life

*This is a pitty-party rant.  You may want to skip it. *

I have truly been having difficulty with work lately.

As many of you who are readers of my blog know, I am very introverted. But as you also know, I am in very extroverted jobs. This causes some problems! One of the biggest problems is that I have a difficult time finding space to regroup and re-energize.

This is especially a problem at BUX. We are a licensed store, not a corporate store. And we are in a very confined space. And while I am at work, I am confined to this space with my coworkers and with the people who are coming to get coffee. There is really no way to get away from it.

Now, in the very introverted, when the threshold of stimulation has been reached, any more stimulation becomes VERY uncomfortable. (Common guys, you know what I am talking about!)  The problem at work is trying to find ways to allow the stimulation to abate.

Then I also work with two VERY (I might even say PAINFULLY) extroverted.  The one is the twink I talked about before. The other is the (I would bet BIG money that he is closeted) Lead Barista who has an ego that is so big that it will not allow anyone near.  Everything that happens has to be tied back to him.  (Said to a customer:  "That cookie isn't nearly as sweet as me."  Or "This drink is filled with Hossiness!" (His name is "Hoss"))  He also is constantly referring to himself in the third-person.

Now, I am sure to most of the customers, this is nothing.  But putting up with this for eight hours a day gets to be a bit much.  And being introverted and having to deal with this is psychically painful.  As I said, most people who come into the store probably do not understand what the problem would be.  Hoss seems like a nice guy and seems like he would be the life of the party.  But for me, the repetitive jokes and the "patter" gets really tiresome.

It has gotten to the point where thinking of working at Bux leads to an anxiety attacks.  And although it may sound like I am being a drama queen, the coffee shop has begun to feel like an attack.  I become frustrated and anxious just thinking about it.

Unfortunately, weekends do not provide a respite, either.  Most weekends are spent preparing a sermon, preparing Sunday worship, doing Sunday worship, and going with Nick to his Sunday Worship.  Oh, did I forget the 200 mile round trip journey in all of this?

I am not complaining about traveling with Nick, I enjoy hearing him preach and I enjoy the people in the congregation.  I also want to be along to provide Nick with some company during the trip because it is a long trip for him too.  But it just become more things to do and no time to regroup.

I also do not know where the whole church thing is going.  We are holding, but not growing.  I have been told that things are going well, but I still have bills that are not getting paid.  I want to trust in God, but I am getting tired of waiting.  I need to get people to go out and bring in new members, or give more money, or both!!  But that is not happening.

I have now spent about 5 hours doing NOTHING and feel guilty about it.  I know I shouldn't feel guilty but I also know that I should be looking for a different job.

And so the anxiety continues.

*End of rant*

My Lifestyle is an affront to me!

It is really a bit of a problem when what you do is in direct opposition to who you are. I am not talking about some big homo/hetero thing here. What I am talking about is an introvert/extrovert thing.

I am really VERY introverted. I can function in the world, but after a while, I need to get away. It really wears me down when I cannot get renewal time. This is something that other introverts will understand, and something that many extroverts just don't get.

I know my career is not the best for introverts. Being a clergy means that one needs to be out in the public world. But also, being a clergy means that we usually have an office into which we can retreat.

But when you are an introverted clergy who also works at Starbucks, it gets crazy. There seems to be no way to get recharged. The job involves being in an area with no escape, dealing with people who are just being what they should be, self-centered consumers. There is no way to get out of the spotlight.

Yesterday I had one of those humiliating events happen. Being closed into close working surroundings with someone who is acting very childish.(This person is 19 and is painfully extroverted.) I tend to back away because he can be so overbearing, but he sees it as rejection. He sees the overbearing as "trying to cheer you up!" I have tried to explain but it does no good. In many ways, this feels as attacking as a physical attack. I could not get away from the behavior. I could not get the person to talk to me. I just about walked off the job. All this for just $8.50 an hour without tips.

My problem is that when I get cornered, I go into escape overdrive. Major panic attack mode. THIS IS VERY EMBARRASSING! I don't want to return today because I am embarrassed for my actions. I feel like some kind of drama queen.

I just want to do my job.

Life Shots

Well, life at BUX has been interesting. I have not been trying to get the Lead Barista fired, but he has been doing pretty well in getting there. If you are not up on his shenanigans, let me fill you in.

He is notorious for just roaming around the store instead of helping us. He is notorious for lying instead of just doing the work. He is also notorious for seeing how far he can push people, just to see if he can.

Well, he may have pushed too far. When I found out that I had been trained, read the training materials, and signed the training material (none of which happened!), I got very angry! I told my boss and his boss that I DO NOT appreciate having my name and data forged! I also purposely did this in the presence of another co-worker because the boss is notorious for having a "bad" memory when it suits her.

I get to work with him today. This should be interesting.

I am still excited about the decision of the ELCA Churchwide assembly. As you can guess, this has opened up a lot of possibilities. My biggest challenge is to not get too far ahead of life. There are some things that will need to happen. Part of the "problem" is that I had to leave the ELCA to join the ECUSA. Now I will have to see if there is a problem with returning. I also feel a sense of betrayal to the ECUSA. They took me in when I needed it and helped me in a desperate time. Now it seems like I am giving them a smack in the face for helping me. But I never felt like an Episcopalian, try as I might. I don't really want to spend the rest of my life in the Episcopal closet.

Nick and I are gearing up for our trip to Iowa. We are going to visit my family and to start people thinking of the concept of two guys getting married. My family is accepting of my gayness, they just are a little unsure about all the other stuff. Nick and I are ok with giving them time.

The change in the weather has started me thinking of Christmas. (How surprising is that!) I have the impetus to start working on Christmas glass. We are going to have a craft sale at church so I need to get some things done for there. I also need to get working on the Santa for this year. (People new to the blog may not know that I make my partner Nick a new stained glass Santa every year. Nick loves Santas.) It wasn't much of a summer, but now that fall seems to have poked its head, I am feeling a new sense of energy.

I have finally gotten some health insurance through work. It is going to be a bit of a financial hit, but it is necessary. I wish I could cover Nick with the insurance, too, but in Michigan, that is not possible.

Congregation is doing fine, although I think churches seem to be Nut Magnets. I guess that is a good thing because even nuts need somewhere to belong too. Problem is, in a small congregation, the nuts stand out more than they do in a fruitcakes. Trying to find the fruitcake around the nuts can be interesting.

Putting the cat down has not been as traumatic as I thought. I think we have been grieving her loss for many years. Every time she would get impacted, the question would again arise. Sometimes having her gone smacks me "upside of the head" when I see her favorite toy or think I hear her in the night. But both She and her sister were/are independent cats so not having her constantly around is not odd.

So, there is life in a nutshell. I guess life is what you make it! Around here, that would make life stained glass coffee!

(The photo at the top of the post is of some flowers we saw when we were at The Tridge last weekend.)

Crazy Making

OK, I am about to take the whole management of the store where I work and throw them into the lake and drown them. They are complete idiots!

Case in point: I did not go to work yesterday. I woke up coughing, stuffed nose, and terrible sore throat. My throat was so sore I thought I may have had strep throat. And as I work with food, I decided not going to work was probably a good thing.

So today, even though I didn't feel much better, I decided to go to work because we are short staffed and I also need the bucks. When I got to work, I got called back to the bosses office and was "counseled" for taking off work. I was reminded that by taking off, it puts my coworkers in a difficult situation. To which I agreed.

Now, I need to mention that this is the first sick day I took since I worked at the place. The first sick day in over a year.

When I got back from the "counseling," I was given a paper and asked to read and sign it. On this paper it said that if we had a sore throat with fever, we weren't supposed to come to work!

So, I followed the directives I signed, and I get a mark on my record for it! Like I said, crazy making.

I did find out that my transfer has been approved, so I will be transferring stores next week. This info kind of led me to step out a bit and slam one of my bosses. She deserved it. She has no idea what is going on at Starbucks but will change the schedule when we give it to her. She placed a new person to work alone for four hours and to close alone. This person was not certified and should not be working alone. It is against the contract the store has with Starbucks. This woman is one of the worst managers I have ever dealt with.

Update et al...

Wah! My feet hurt! Things would probably be better if I lost about 75 lbs. Or if I could stop working at Starbucks. Or, better yet, BOTH! But as that is probably not going to happen in the near future, I just get to deal with my feet hurting.

We have a new person at work, and I have been given the task of training her. I guess if you are noisy enough, they give you more work to keep you quiet. But that is ok, this lady is eager to learn and seems like a good worker. Hopefully I can teach her some good habits before she develops the inevitable bad ones.

At work the other day, I saw an older guy, probably in his 70's, with a jacket on that said "Viagra" in huge letters on the back. I wondered why someone would want that on their jacket, but then figured if you are 70 and can get it up (by whatever means) it must pay to advertise!

I entered two pieces in the Delphi Art Glass Festival this year.

The first is the DaVinci Chic

The other piece is the Cat Clock.


This is the competition that I entered last year and won second and third place in my category, suncatchers.

I am not hopeful of winning any awards this year. The competition is tough. But it is still fun to have my pieces in a public show.

You know, you never know how much you look at a clock until it is gone. Since the cat has been gone, both Nick and I have commented on looking at the wall and being frustrated that the clock is not there. So to remedy the problem, a new clock has been made:


Not a whole lot, but it works. Nick jokes that we will eventually have a clock for every season! Not a bad idea if you ask me. I was surprised how hard it is to draw an egg that looks like an egg. Then, of course, trying to draw the stripes so they work. Oh well. It is difficult having an imagination that surpasses my drawing abilities. It is not wonderful, but it is seasonal and it works.

Life 20 Minutes From Hell

Well, the packing for the moving has started. I hate moving and Nick hates it even more. But I think moving will be a good thing. Getting closer to Nick's job and closer to my church will be helpful. I know I am looking forward to being back in a metropolitan area. It will be nice to be able to go to a gay bar and not have to drive 40+ miles.

There is a "Cheers" type of bar in town. This is kind of my speed. I am not, and never have been, into the big pick-up bar scene. The only thing wrong with this place is they don't have a dart board. Well, we'll have to change that!

My congregation is so excited about having me move closer. They are taking a free will offering this Sunday and next Sunday to help pay moving expenses. I was very humbled to think that in this time of difficulties, people are willing to help. And they are also looking to increase my pay so that I will be able to attend vestry meetings. I am happy to see that they are taking the initiative.

We have gotten a new boss at work. He seems to need to relax his sphincter muscle. He already has gotten the bakery angry with him and is doing his darnedest to make us angry. Our second in command is also working hard to make life difficult: the lead barista sends the schedule and no. 2 changes it. Yesterday I was scheduled to work alone from 3:30 until 7:30 alone. Today, my coworker is scheduled to work from 5:30 until noon alone.

Oy vey!

I've Been Bad!

Sorry folks! If there is anyone who is still out there. The past week has been busy and (of course) filled with too much Facebook.

Part of the problem has been that my work hours have been increased. Two of the people who were causing me the most distress have been either fired or have quit. It is difficult to get which story is correct.

The story has it that both had been involved in "unauthorized discounts." With one of these discounts taking place with the loss prevention person standing right there. A quick check of the register tape and the surveillance tape showed that a $3.50 beverage was sold for $1.64. The girl who made this "mistake" had worked for Starbucks for over a year. A little too obvious to be a mistake.

At first I thought that I had something to do with the girl being let go. She came into work all pissed and when told that the Dept. of Agriculture was there, her response was "I don't give a sh*t."

If Dept. of Ag. has a problem with our cleanliness, then we could be closed. Having an "I don't give a sh*t" attitude when the inspectors are there can be dangerous. I should also say this girl had been sporting this attitude for quite a while.

After our encounter, I walked over and reminded my boss that the sooner the transfer could be moved through, the better. To which my boss asked me why the repeat of the request. I told her what had happened and she went over to talk to my co-worker. The next day I got called into work to fill her shift.

I took a few days of me feeling guilty until I found out that she had been providing "unauthorized discounts." I am sorry she got canned, but I don't feel nearly as guilty.

Square Root Day and Other Things

I guess I have always been a geek!

Today is a square-root day. What this means is that the day and month are the square-root of the year. 3 X 3 = 09. The first square-root day I celebrated was on September 9, 1981. I was a Sophomore in high school. It was the last square root day of 20th century. (Some may say, "But what about October 10, 2000?" Actually, that will be the last square-root day in the 21st century. 10 X 10 = 100)

I have done things like this almost my whole life. When I was a kid, I used to figure out what fraction of my paper route was finished. After delivering the first paper, the route was 1/64 finished. After the second, 1/32 finished, etc... It helped to keep my brain occupied during a really brain-dead task.

Speaking of really brain-dead tasks (Ben reaches up and takes off the clerical collar) THE BIGGEST PAIN IN THE ASS AT WORK GOT SUSPENDED!!!!!! SHE MAY EVEN GET FIRED!!!! Why this couldn't have happened about four months ago; I know not. And part of me feels kind of guilty enjoying the hardship this girl is going through. But there is another part of me that thinks this may not have happened if the management had been on top of things and did not just let things slip.

Speaking of slip,... Nope, no witty transitions here. Darn!

We have signed a lease for a new place. We will be moving in mid-April. I am excited because the townhouse has a basement which means that I can have all my glass stuff near by. No more driving across the state to get to it. Hopefully this will mean that I will be more prolific as an ARTEEST! One of the places we looked at was right across from the stained glass store. That would have had its up sides, but also some obvious down sides.

I have been transfixed by Facebook lately. I am wondering if part of this is...(Huh, *sighs wistfully* Ewan McGregor is singing to me from the television. Most people think he is singing to Nicole Kidman, but I know better. Oh, where was I?) due in part to the dopamine system in the brain. Facebook has the ultimate reinforcement schedule. You never know who is going to be there and what is going to happen. As our brains try to figure out the patter, we keep getting drawn back in. I have gotten hooked on Hatchlings, especially. I want some of the limited edition eggs and there is always the possibility that the next nest will have one.

I need to learn C++ or Python or something because I want to do some programming that I am sure I cannot just find. It kind of sucks to have some ideas that you know can be made but are lacking the know how or finances to make them happen. Oh well.

Looking back at this post, I would almost assume I have entered a manic phase in my life. I have never been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, but that doesn't mean it can't be there. If I do have it, is there any way to remove the depressed pole while leaving, if not the manic, then the hypo-manic stage? I guess that is why people take speed. The unfortunate thing is that my manic phases involve more mental aspects. If it involved physical, then I would be a svelte god. But at this point, I resemble more the Buddha than the emaciated Jesus.

In any of the religious traditions, was there ever a buff god? Maybe Tigeryogiji could shed some light on this. In Christian traditions, Jesus is usually physically depicted on the wimpy side and God is usually portrayed as an old man.

If these thoughts are incoherent, sorry.

Tea-Rista

Dr. Ur-Spo, I am pleased to tell you that I am now officially certified in the fine art Tea. After tasting over 20 different teas, I now have my tea certification pin!

"Aftermath"

"Aftermath" is the word that I guess fits. Not really in the sense that what is happening is horrible, but in the way of having something big happen and then having to deal with "what comes next."

Work yesterday was terrible! I kept thinking, "I am going to be able to quit!" If this goes through, I will be able to quit this whole thing. But the problem is that the full-time stuff won't be able to happen until August. I keep trying to put a positive spin on the job (I work here so I can keep the church job) but it really doesn't make things that much easier.

I just wish I could get out of this job. We have three SBX in a one mile area. And with all of the talk of closures, it is making all of us (at least those of us over 25) nervous. The younger ones are just being kids, but in this market, we need to outshine our neighbors, not just keep up.

I also really want a vacation, not just a couple of days off. Unfortunately, the "couple days off" end up being used for church stuff, not really getting away. Even if we go somewhere, there is always the thought of "is the sermon done?"

But the other good thing with the possibility of full-time is HEALTH INSURANCE! It will be nice to have it again after almost three years.

So, life goes on. The full-time thing is not written in stone. I need to make sure that I don't jump onto it just because it is there. But at this point, it sounds like something good.

Legendary Service Award

Well, at the risk of tooting my own horn:

I have won a Legendary Service Award

for the second time in about four months!

I guess if you are going to pour coffee, then you might as well do a good job of it!

I Hate My Job!

I have been dreading thinking a lot about work lately. Every time I think about it, the image that keeps coming to me is the feeling trying to defend myself while having that defense turned back as a form of attack. I try to do my job properly and consciously and just end up getting more and more frustrated.

One reason I can think of is I am an Enneagram 5. It may take me a while to make a decision, but when I do, I am pretty well committed to that decision. As one of my seminary profs would say, "Often wrong, but never in doubt." Then, if the decision is not implemented or another, better idea presented, I become frustrated.

At work, the situation seems obvious: Teach the new people what to do, and follow through on making sure it happens. If they continue to do it incorrectly, then increase the consequences. But don't make me have to pick up the slack. And don't make me feel guilty because I am upset that I have to pick up their slack.

I also have been through one store shut-down and don't want to go through another. But how do you get people to understand that even a benign neglect of rules can be enough to close us down. We have a new store that opened near by and our numbers have dropped. We have to do what we do even better because we are harder to access. In this economy, it is the details that matter.
People can always find other places to spend their dwindling amounts of money.

I am really trying to come up with ways of dealing with managers who do not do their jobs and coworkers who appear to either be totally clueless or totally lacking in personal integrity. I am not paid enough to be this upset. But what these people do does have an effect on me.

Unfortunately, one way I deal with this stuff is to detach. I hate doing that, but getting totally upset over an $8/hour with no tips job is definitely a losing proposition.

Oh well...

Anyone out there need an Episcopal Priest with a masters degree in psychology, (specializing in the psychobiology of Alzheimer's Disease), with experience in Program Direction for people with Mental Retardation, who knows how to make a killer Caramel Frappuccino, who can repair your stained glass windows and give a planetarium show in a pinch?

Really, this is no joke, have you got a job for me?

Christmas Eve Eve

What a yuck day!

And yet again I arrive at work to find that the closing was done in a half-fast way. (Say it out loud if it doesn't make sense.) I am tired of saying something but not having anything change. My boss told me that it was busy last night and I would believe that if this were only an occasional occurrence. But since this is almost a daily event, I am just pissed. So, I decided to tell my boss that any shift I worked, I would work close. Even if we were busy, I would get the placed closed in an appropriate manner. I am just so sick of going in and finding a mess. And, of course, nothing changes because the boss does not want to take the time to discipline the staff. I wouldn't complain so much, but when you open, there are things that have to happen and only a short amount of time to make them happen. When the night crew gets lazy, then opening, not only occurring too early, gets to be a major chore. One of my former co-workers has said something about trying to shut us down. Since the new one opened, I would not be surprised if this were true.

Then it starts snowing and gets slippery and all the world comes to a crawling halt. It took Nick over an hour to drive the 12 miles from work to home. Now we are home, we had some so-so chili that I made and are watching White Christmas and having a beer.

I am so looking forward to two days off. Granted, there are church and family things to do, but at least I will not have to go to Coffee Hell!

The one thing nice about colder weather is it makes it conducive to snuggling!