Oh What Fun

Aaarrrggg!!!

Well, over the weekend, our crew at work went from six to four.  That is right!  Four people to work 13 hours per day/ seven days per week.  And we are never supposed to leave the place empty.  So that means that we need people to cover for breaks.  Oh, and did I forget to mention that NONE of our supervisors know what we do? 

I have been trying to REDUCE my hours, especially with Christmas coming.  But do you think that is going to happen?  And we also have the Lead Barista who talks more than he works, even thought he would have you believe that the place would close down without him.  My response when someone asks if the Lead is working is:  "He is on the clock and in the store."

I have been trying to get out of the place, but I am usually beat by the time I get off work.  But I have been checking out the deployment page and there is something that looks good upstate!  It would be nice in that it would be close to Nick's congregation too!  I am guardedly optimistic.  And no, I am not interested in the congregation just because it is logistically optimum.  They also seem like a good place for ministry.  Our lease here is up in April, my contact with my current congregation is up in July.  Sometimes time just flies!  Seems like we just moved and that I just signed a contact.  But hopefully god has some things in store for us.  We really need some things to finally go right!

Peace to all..

I Think I Found A New Job!

I have decided that with all the "Door Buster" sales going on tomorrow, I should go into the field of Door Repair! Lots of doors being busted, lots of doors needing repair!

Humm, The Scenery Has Changed

I got a kind of bizarre e-mail last night. It came from the Canon for Deployment. (For those of you who don't know the lingo, that is the person in the Bishop's office who makes money occupying a desk helps pair clergy with empty pulpits.) It was a letter to the senior warden of a local church and mentioned me as a possible Clergy in Residence.

What made this so bizarre is that this is the first I have ever heard about it. It is the first the rector I am working with has ever heard of it. We were completely blindsided.

I am happy that things seem to be happening. I am happy the Bishop's office is thinking of me when things come up. I just wish I would have had more notice that this was happening.

Of course, this is not the first time this has happened. They seem to like doing things without the knowledge of the folks involved. But at least something is happening and hopefully this may lead to some more experience and a possible call. Not at the church I would be working at, but something.

Grinding Grit or Sandpaper

I was talking with a former colleague of mine yesterday. He was kind enough to let me bend his hear for a while. So many things in my life have been wearing at me. I don't hate my job, but it really doesn't provide a lot of intellectual stimulation. You can only ask people how the weather is so many times before you start to going bonkers.

I truly miss being able to be "smart." One of the things that helps is one of my coworkers is a thinker so we can have some intriguing conversations. Otherwise, it becomes just another line of lattes and caramel frappuccinos.

I also really enjoyed preaching and leading worship the past two weeks, but I am a bit apprehensive of the rector returning. She is very nice, but she is also very proper. Maybe that is one of my downfalls, but I am not really a "proper" person. I like to think of myself as a comfort model. (Heaven knows I have gained my share of cushion.) And I feel like I have to become something that I am not just to serve in the church. It took me 41 years to come out, I don't want to start hiding all over again.

My colleague cautioned me that stress can take on two forms: It can grind us down to nothing or, if we have faith, it can be like sandpaper in the hands of a craftsman and form us into a work of art. My problem: to the piece of wood, they both feel the same.

I want to believe that God is at work sanding away the rough edges. I want to believe that all of this is for a purpose. I want to believe that eventually Nick and I will come out of this and be thankful for the experience. But right now, that is difficult to see.

News on Nick

Well, Nick made it safely to Florida and is having a great time. He has been telling me that the weather has been warm and wonderful down there. I am happy because when he was in Jacksonville in January, it was not really wonderfully warm. I told him that when he comes home, I expect to see a tan, AND NO TAN LINES!

We have really been tossing around the idea of moving to Florida. There is nothing keeping us here in Michigan. And hopefully moving away from the grey winters may help my depression. I could also handle living within a couple of hours of the gulf or the ocean.

Even in I ended up working at a Starbucks in Florida, IT WOULD BE A STARBUCKS IN FLORIDA! If I am going to sell overpriced coffee, it might as well be to Speedo clad bronze gods.

Sometimes I Just Hate Life

[rant]Well, I am glad we have the land-line phone. I have begun to think of it as the HSBC Hotline. Really, the only people who ever call it is HSBC.

I hate being in this situation: I feel like such a schmuck for not being able to pay my bills. I hate having people constantly hitting me up for money I don't have.

And I know I shouldn't, but every time it happens, I get mad at the church. If they were truly loving like Christ, I would not be thoroughly underemployed.

Sorry.[/rant]

Job Up-Date!

For the most part, I love the people I work with. They are interesting, open minded people. One of the nice things is that I am out to all of them so I don't have to be constantly editing my language.

HOWEVER...(You knew this was coming!)One of my co-workers is about to drive me nuts! Within a six hour stretch I was with him, he cleaned the cash register four times. He took all the pastries out of the pastry case, at 2 pm, and cleaned it. Now, 2 pm is prime pastry selling time! He stacked all the cups in front of the espresso machine so he could wash the plastic holder. It is hard to make espresso when there are cups sitting in front of it. Even when the boss told him to "STOP CLEANING!" he would continue. And when the boss went home for the day, we had the White Tornado return. I know that when he shows up at work, the stress level of the group seems to rise.

This is also the guy who I thought was "family." Now, he says he is not gay, but so does Larry Craig. What is interesting is that as soon as he heard I was gay, he had all kinds of questions about places Nick and I go when we go out and what we experience from the people around us. I just answer his questions. It took me 40years to come to grips. Then again, he may just be interested and nothing more.

New Job Continued

Yesterday was a thrill! I got to spend seven hours in front of a computer screen learning all kinds of [sarcasm]fun and useful things![/sarcasm] Granted, there really is not good way of presenting all the information, but after seven hours, not a whole lot was getting in.

[whine]I miss having a ton of time to myself and being able to go with Nick when he travels to Flint.[/whine] I just need to find a way to get someone to sponsor my life. Maybe I could tattoo an ad on my body and then have someone pay me to walk around so the ad can be seen. I know it has been done before.

Back to Making Coffee

Someone said, "The more things change, the more they stay the same."

You know, coffee is coffee. Some things are different, like the placement of the syrups and where the spoons go. But at the first day of the new job, I was making coffee.

I have to learn how to ring things up on the cash register because it is different than what I had been used to. And "NO!" I will not ring up any of my own purchases!

I think one of the employees is a family memeber. If not, he should be!

But back today. And today I will get to start the basic training! Should be fun!! :P

Starting New Job

Well, the "new" job starts today. I put "new" in quotes because, as I said before, I am still working for 'bucks, just in a different location. The hardest part will be to keep the information that is revelant while staying open to the things that are new. Reminds me of a church I supplied at; "We do things the same way as nobody else." I am sure this goes for jobs too.

Of course, the uniform couldn't be the same. Yes, there is the black shirt, but they will supply me with one. And instead of the khaki pants, we are supposed to wear black ones. (Now, black pants and two cats do NOT go together!) And hopefully, the closer location will offset the $.75 less per hour. On well...

I have been dealing with credit companies, mainly HSBC. I try to explain that I am exceedingly underemployed. I have been dealing with them for some time now. Now I am told that there is insurence on my account in case I become unemployed! THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW! I currently owe more on my sofa than it origianlly cost. Every time a payment is missed, they tack a $39 service charge on. (Why not just make it $40? Are they trying to look "nice" by not charging so much?)

Again, it is times like this that makes me question my actions. I could have kept my mouth shut, stayed in the closet and things would have been fine. But I came out in a church that claims to be "open and accepting." Yah, right. Every time I hear that, it makes me ill.

I still love peoples' reaction when they hear that I am an unemployed clergy. Their first response is "Is that possible?" Then they look at me like, "Who did you have sex with?"

New Job!

Well, sort of...

See, I am working with the same coffee company, just in a different store. Granted, it is $.75 less per hour than the previous job, but it is closer. I hope this goes well. I am getting sick of the daily drama that life has been handing me.

I've Been Thinking

What I find somewhat upsetting is the unequalness in the whole employer/employee relationship.

When I interviewed for the Starbucks job, I was asked about what I expected to give to the company and what I expected from the company. I stated that I expected to give a notice of two weeks if and when I would leave the job. But I also said that I expected the same courtesy from the company.

Why is it that we have to give advanced warning but they can summarily dismiss us? Can I claim two weeks severance? They obviously did not consider me a threat as I had worked over 20 hours after the event happened. If I had been a threat, shouldn't I have been put on leave?

It just rails me that if we don't give two-weeks, we are looked badly upon. They can just can us and it is business as usual.

Blasphemous Rumor

There is a song by Depeche Mode called Blasphemous Rumor which seems to sum up what I am feeling about now.

I don't want to start any blasphemous rumors
But I think that God has a sick sense of humor
And when I die
I expect to find him laughing

I just want the whole thing to stop. I am tired of being positive and upbeat. I am tired of "just trust[ing] in God." I am tired of it seeming as if nothing is going to ever work out. I get afraid of when things do work that suddenly something is going to go wrong.

Nick says that I will have a lot of sermon illustrations. I know he is trying to cheer me up, but I am sick of being a sermon illustration.

Why can't something go right for a change?

The former senior pastor called. He still has a job. I try to get over the whole thing but I just get so pissed off at times.

I wish Nick were here.

News From Quest Labs

Hi all!

I realized that I really haven't said much about what has been happening here since Nick's hospital visit. I am pleased to say that he continues to do well and it appears that the blood pressure medication is working. This is a good thing.

I have been working and supplying at local churches. I enjoy the coffee job, I just wish the schedule was more predictable. But I shouldn't complain, at least I have a job. And I also enjoy the job so it is not a hassle to have to go in. It could pay more, true, but if I had a higher paying job, I would still be complaining about not making enough.

I have been making Christmas presents. You may remember that last year I didn't get my parents' Christmas present to them until July. So this year, I hoped to get things done early so I am not rushing at the end.

I know Ur-Spo may not want to hear it, but I have been enjoying the shift to Christmas around here. There is a radio station that has been playing Christmas music and there is a channel on cable that has Christmas music. Maybe my fixation on Christmas is an attempt to reclaim the "idealized" Christmas that none of us never have. (Well, maybe some of us have, but I didn't.) Unfortunately, this can set me up for a big drop in January when I realize that this Christmas probably is going to fall short also. But I will have to wait and see.

I actually saw some snow today. Either snow or chunks of sleet, or possibly a worker on the roof had some hellatious dandruff. They are not prediction snow until tomorrow, though. We have actually done well, we have not had snow yet this season and we usually have had some form of snow by now.

The psyche of the Good Dr., here, has been ok. I go through waves of acceptance, then then anger, then frustration, and then depression. I try to keep an even keel, but then there are times when I just get so frustrated at the state of being. I am working with a church trying to learn what it is like to be an Episcopalian, but it is taking time. Last week I was at the Diocesan Convention and that helped me to feel more a part. It was a kind of "completion." I was serving communion during the Eucharist and had the first priest I encountered during my transition come through my line. It really hammered home how my life has changed.

Otherwise, Nick and I are doing ok. I am deflecting phone calls from creditors, I feel bad not answering, but I also hate having to constantly say, "I don't have the money." It is rather humiliating.

First Day Making Coffee

Well, I learned something that I had stated wrongly in a previous post: The coffee establishment I work for does not refer to it as a "skinny latte" it is a "non-fat latte." My trainer chuckled and informed me that it was company policy to not refer to it in that manner.

Otherwise, other than having sore feet and ankles from standing all day, I had a good time! I think I am going to like this job. It doesn't pay a ton, but I think it will be do-able.

New Job

I start my new job today!

I need to learn phrases like, "Do you want foam on that?" and "Would that be a skinny, half-caf?"

When I was interviewing, the interviewer looked at me and said, "You know, you are way over-qualified." To which I replied, "Yes, but I need a job."

So I begin training.

I need to figure out how this all works. I guess I am hired by the chain with the red and white logo but am working for the Seattle based coffee company. Hopefully this will be more clear by the end of the day.

I do think it will be fun working in a coffee bar.

I will let you know more as this story unfolds.

Turd Eating Dogs and Other Things

Well, life has been interesting.

Fortunately, we have not had another encounter with the highly intelligent gentleman from downstairs. Unfortunately, everything we do we hold our breath waiting for the oaf to pound on the floor/ceiling or on the door. Maybe the call from the manager was a good thing.

We found that the poodle dog has been eating the cat turds from the litter box. In the house, the litter box was downstairs, but here, everything is on the same level. We were wondering why the dog was producing turds longer than she was, and why the cats didn't seem to going. Then I caught the pup dragging a turd across the hall about to dine. We are trying some obstacles to keep the dog away from the box.

I am currently working in another brain-dead job. I am "doing things with buttons" for BMWs and Hondas. If you buy one of these in the near future, I may have either sent the buttons to be painted or put parts of the car together. This kind of thing is VERY boring. I don't know how people can do this for years and years.

Today is a beautiful day and so it looks to be a play day. I have to preach tomorrow, but I am rerunning one from the past. I like this one so I am going to do it again. One of the wonders of moving around a lot; you only need one set of sermons!

Oh

And I did not get the call in Colorado.

Interview

Well, today I had my interview for the possible chaplain position.

I would love to be able to say that the interview was a slam-dunk, but I can't. I interviewed with three different people. Two of the people seemed to like me. One, the HR person, I would not want to take on in poker. She gave me no idea.

If I passed this interview, then I get to have a second one. And if I pass that one, then I get one with the residents of the facility. So, assuming I make it through the interview process, I could have a job by next summer.

We did well with the apartment credit rating. Or maybe I should say that Nick did well with the credit rating. The person from the apartment complex called and said that "Nicholas" had an "A" credit rating. After first figuring out who "Nicholas" was, I realized this was a good thing. Since Nick got a rating of "A" credit rating, we don't have to put down a deposit. I noticed she didn't say what my rating was.

So that is the state of things. We have an apartment, Nick has a job, and I am still in Episcopal limbo. Oh well.

Time is Moving

Well, Nick and I went to the Howell, MI Melon Festival. Nick wondered if there was a Dance called the Melon Balls!

But while we were there, we decided to look at a couple of apartments. Well, surprise! We found one! It is pretty nice and not that much smaller than where we are living now. Granted we don't have a basement or a backyard. I keep saying we will have to lower the dog off of the balconey so she can relieve herself.

The only thing that is stopping us is the credit check. Now let's think, to be in foreclosure means the credit is crap. But we will find out on Tuesday.

Tuesday is also when I have my interview. We are "acting as if." As if I will get the job and as if we will have enough money to pay for the thing. But the rent is about $200 cheaper than usual and the pet costs would be waved. The place is almost exactly half-way between my job and Nick's job. It all seemsed to fall into place. So we are on another ride.