Major Moving Day

Today we got to move all the really big stuff. Actually, it started yesterday with the TV. The thing weighs in at about 200 lbs. Getting it down the 27 stairs was a pain. But it got down and into the new apartment all in one piece.

Today we moved the sofa, the chairs, the washer and dryer, the bed, and the dishwasher. Trying to get the sofa down the steps was a big pain. The person who "helped" us left it drag. Thankfully, the leather was strong enough to survive the pavement. Now the dryer, we are not sure if that survived. It went clunking down the steps, it almost fell off the dolly. It was nice to have help, but, as Nick said, "He is kind of like a bull in a china shop."

Right now, if I have to go up another step I will scream!

Eight Months!

He and the Little Lady are resting up getting ready for the big rush just ahead!

(Photo courtesy of Alex's Travel Tales)

More on Moving

I'll tell you, there is nothing that will increase your energy more than having the Idiot Neighbor sitting outside playing with his future juvenile delinquent and strain on the correctional systems kid. I was childish at first and gave him the evil eye. But then I just kept on moving, not even acknowledging his presence. I usually would say "Hi" to him when I would see him, I tried to be neighborly, but since we don't have to live near them, not anymore.

Oh well, I was going to stop but he gave me the incentive to keep on going. So I guess I can be grateful for that!

Thoughts About Life

The last couple of days have been long. Between moving and work, I am about to fall apart. I'm getting too old for this.

Sorry, this is probably going to be a whiny post, because I am feeling whiny. I know there is pain in the world, but... I know, focus on the good things in life. Hey! Michael T. Weiss is on TV! He is such a hottie! (I am trying to cheer myself up!)

But, the move will occur and we will get everything done. Then we will be living in a much more quiet place.

The Video Is Still Out There

I posted earlier about a video that was on GodTube. But, as GodTube would have it, the video was removed. BUT! The video live on at YouTube!

Moving Woes...

(h/t to Lolcats)

I Guess It Must Only Be THEIR Messages About God

I knew it was too good to be true. Of course only the fundamentalist message would be the one that would be allowed on the site. They say they are "Broadcast[ing] Him," but only the "Him" that their little minds can create. Of course, a message that may challenge their views would get deleted. How sad.

What was on the video were messages by various clergy about how inclusion was Christian and Biblical. Of course, they would remove it.

WOW! Something For Us On God Tube!

The Earth Moved

An entry to my bucket list got filled this morning. I was sleeping in a hotel in Ypsilanti, MI when around 4:30 am I felt like someone was trying to wake me up. Now this would not be so bad except I was all alone at the hotel. I am at an Episcopal retreat and Nick is at home. Well...I thought, "Are we having an earthquake?" I looked around and tried to fall back to sleep. But I kept shakeing. Then I rolled over and the shaking stopped. I figured I must have pinched a nerve or something and that is what made me shake. But then the next morning, I saw that there was an earthquake in Illinois! I got to experience an earthquake!

I actually was in another earthquake when I was visiting LA, but I slept through that one. So this was the first one that I actually got to feel! It was a weird sensation.

A New Address

Nick and I will be moving. After dealing with the neighbor, the apartment complex is going to allow us to move. We are moving to a ground floor in another building. It is good in that we are getting away from the idiot living under us. It is also good in that we get a ground floor with a patio. The not so good part is that we have to move, we have to changes all the addresses, and we have to get the utilities changed.

But hopefully now we will not have to worry about getting attacked by the person who lives below us. What is also nice is that the model apartment is above us so we will not have anyone living above us.

I hope this is a chapter that is finally over.

Going Postal

I really am beginning to understand how someone could "Go Postal." I would consider myself to be a fairly laid-back kind of person, but yet, lately I have really wanted to hurt someone. I know that after it happened, I would feel like crap. But there still is this desire to exert power over something in my life.

The idiot neighbor from downstairs again was pounding on the ceiling. I just want to deck him! So many other things have been happening in life that having a bully do his thing is just pushing me that much closer to doing something stupid.

I think it all has something to do with feeling like I have some kind of power in the world. Everything else seems to be exerting power over me, I finally want to be able to exert some power of my own. I want to the one making the decisions and not just following whatever I am being told.

I used to be in a situation where I was able to exert influence. Now I seem to have none at all. Part of me just wants to do something just to make something happen.

Package me up in the straight jacket. Get the macaroni and glue ready. I'm on my way!

General Thoughts

Work has been interesting. Today, at the end of my shift, an incredibly cute guy winked at me and I got to check out ring up the purchase of the Richard Gere look alike. I also told Richard that I could ring up his food purchases also. He said, "Really? I didn't know you could do that." It took everything in my power to not say, "Of course I can, I am very versatile." And just yesterday, Richard came up and said, "Hi Ben" and I didn't even have my name tag on!

Don't worry, things are still great between Nick and me, it is just nice to receive some attention from some very attractive men.

Otherwise, still dealing with the whole church thing. I feel like I am a chips and dip kind of person but the Episcopal Church is a caviar and crackers kind of place. I am afraid if I try to be a caviar kind of person, that I will eventually burn out. but I am also afraid that if I am not a caviar kind of person, I will not find a church in the ECUSA. I am also afraid if I go to another denomination, I will again have to spend another year getting "accustomed" to the new denomination. It just drives me nuts.

I will be going to a clergy retreat over the next few days. Hopefully I can make some network connections. I really don't want to go but it would be politically incorrect to miss it. Oh well.

Nick is working a bunch. He has had 17 hours of overtime last week and has had 6 already this week. I just keep reminding him that it is not worth getting sick over. Making a bunch of money just to have to spend it on a doctor is foolish.

Well, that is about it for now.

My View From The Box

We Got New Frappuccino Blender Pitchers!! Look at how clear they are! If that doesn't get you all hot and bothered, then I don't know what is wrong with you!

Work has been a thrill this past week. One of my coworkers is on vacation so we are working short. This means that for the past two days I have been working the last five and a half hours of my shift alone. Now granted, it will get busy and it is hard to keep going when you are there all alone. But what is worse is spending five and a half hours with no one to talk to. And we are not supposed to be doing crosswords or sudokus. And of course, there is no place to sit down. Come on, I am over 40 and overweight, GIVE ME A CHAIR!

Something We Can All Learn From

This clip has been making its way around the 'net lately. It seems to be hitting a chord with many people.

I think one of the reasons is that many of us of the GLBT variety have gone through life being the ones picked on and the ones made to feel our gifts and talents were not appreciated. And although we continue to work to find our voice in the world, I know that for me there still seems to be times of difficulty. When things get difficult, it is easy to revert to the old ways of reacting to the world.



As for myself, I could not understand what was so wrong with me that would make others want to be mean to me. Now I understand that it was not me. Yes, I may have been different, but my differences made others feel uncomfortable. It was not my problem they felt uncomfortable, but they felt the need to change me to ease their anxiety. I know that, but it still hurt.

More power to this kid with the golden voice! As I said in my sermon, to be human is to be scared. But just keep moving, just keep living. Our scars make us who we are, wonderfully unique individuals.

(h/t to The Mangina Monologues, Aussielicious, and Towleroad)

The Cartoon We Have All Wanted To See

(h/t to the mangina monologues)

Heterosexual Indoctrination?

Jim Burroway over at Box Turtle Bulletin makes a wonderful point: Where are all the fundamentalists complaining about the sanctity of marriage and the danger to children when it doesn't involve gay sex? Isn't it just as outrageous that children are being abused? Isn't it polygamy polygamy?

If this were a gay based cult, the fundies would be all over it like flies on feces. But since it is "one of them" they are not saying a word.

Hypocrisy come in all forms.

Grinding Grit or Sandpaper

I was talking with a former colleague of mine yesterday. He was kind enough to let me bend his hear for a while. So many things in my life have been wearing at me. I don't hate my job, but it really doesn't provide a lot of intellectual stimulation. You can only ask people how the weather is so many times before you start to going bonkers.

I truly miss being able to be "smart." One of the things that helps is one of my coworkers is a thinker so we can have some intriguing conversations. Otherwise, it becomes just another line of lattes and caramel frappuccinos.

I also really enjoyed preaching and leading worship the past two weeks, but I am a bit apprehensive of the rector returning. She is very nice, but she is also very proper. Maybe that is one of my downfalls, but I am not really a "proper" person. I like to think of myself as a comfort model. (Heaven knows I have gained my share of cushion.) And I feel like I have to become something that I am not just to serve in the church. It took me 41 years to come out, I don't want to start hiding all over again.

My colleague cautioned me that stress can take on two forms: It can grind us down to nothing or, if we have faith, it can be like sandpaper in the hands of a craftsman and form us into a work of art. My problem: to the piece of wood, they both feel the same.

I want to believe that God is at work sanding away the rough edges. I want to believe that all of this is for a purpose. I want to believe that eventually Nick and I will come out of this and be thankful for the experience. But right now, that is difficult to see.

The Psych In Me Loves This

(h/t to YarravillePaul)

Boring Days

Not much happening on this side of the internet. I guess that is a good thing. Day in - Day out. Not much happening. But that also means not much happening on the job market, either. Oh well.

Charlton Heston's Gay Secret

The True Story Here!

For sattvicwarrior

Almost a Preacher's Worst Nightmare

I say "almost" because the worst nightmare is to get to the church and not have anything written for a sermon. Today I got to church and realized that I had written a sermon for the wrong gospel reading!

I was looking for something from Easter 3 Year A and grabbed (and even edited) something from Easter 3 Year B. The Year B reading is the part right AFTER the Year A reading. Most of the stuff in the Year B reading is not in the Year A reading! I had to rewrite the sermon on the fly. I had just finished reading the gospel to the congregation and then looked at the opening line of my sermon. My immediate thought was , "oh shit."

I was able to muddle through the first service without sounding like too much of an idiot. I was able to regroup and plan between services and actually did a pretty good job on the second service. In fact, I received complements on my sermon and how much people liked it.

I guess I am a better extemporaneous speaker than I thought or the Holy Spirit planted good things in the ears of the congregation. I tend to believe the Spirit was at work, OVERTIME, today.

Here is what was written:

Easter 3 Year A Luke 24:36-48 April 6, 2008 Rev. Benton Quest

Can you really blame the disciples? In the same situation, how many of us would believe that Jesus was actually sitting there eating with us? The disciples had seen the dead body. They had put Jesus in the tomb themselves. And yes, there he was, sitting with them, claiming to be alive. That would be pretty hard to believe if you asked me. I know I would want proof.
A few years ago, I had seen David Copperfield at the Wharton Center. That show was quite impressive! Things like Lincoln Town Cars were appearing out of nowhere. And once the car appeared, David got into the care to start it, just to prove it was real. In many ways, David was doing something similar to what Jesus did; he was trying to prove that something that was incomprehensible was in fact real.
Now I am not saying that what Jesus did was some kind of magic trick, far from it. But what I am saying is that Jesus was trying to prove, not only to the disciples, but also to us that would follow, that this was no ghost sitting in their presence; this was a real flesh and blood person. Jesus was trying to show that he was not some kind of reanimated corpse or zombie. He was not a figment of their imagination. He was real and he was really present. In permitting the disciples to touch him and see him eat, Jesus was helping to remove any doubt or excuse for belief.
Unfortunately, today we do not have Jesus present with us to touch. We do not have Jesus here to eat with us. We do not have Jesus walking down the aisle and sitting in the pew beside us. We do have Jesus bodily here, but I think we would all love an opportunity to actually meet Jesus face-to-face.
Well, I’m here to tell ya! Today I will give you the opportunity to see Jesus and to touch Jesus. Today I will give you the opportunity to be in the presence of Jesus!
We know that Jesus comes to us when we gather around the altar for communion. Jesus become the bread, Jesus becomes the wine. Jesus strengthens us and nourishes us through the gifts of his body and blood. But eating the body and the blood is not the same as sitting at the table and with Jesus and watching the body and blood eat! It would be great to have that opportunity to sit down with Jesus and share a meal.
We are touched by Jesus in our baptism. The water that washes us is the touch of Jesus. This touch takes us through Christ’s death and gives us the promise of life through his resurrection.
And although we understand through faith that Christ is present in these various ways, our senses keep telling us something different. Our senses are not satisfied. We are creatures of our senses and we need to have our senses fulfilled.
An example of our senses needing to be fulfilled would be liquid diets. If all eating was was just a way of getting nutrition, then we should be able to drink all of our nutrients and be done with it. But what happens is even when people drink a complete diet, all the nutrients and everything, they still have this need to chew things. Even though they are getting all their bodies need, the people on these diets still need to have that physical sensation of eating and chewing.
A similar thing applies to us; even though we may know that Jesus is present in Holy Communion and in Baptism, it still is not what we would want. We want what the disciples got that night in the upper room. We want the experience they had. We want to see Jesus. We want to touch Jesus. We want to talk with Jesus and eat with Jesus.
We are kind of selfish I this desire. We should be happy to have had Jesus come as one of us, even if it was two thousand years ago. We should be happy to have had Jesus die for our sins. We should be happy just to have had the opportunity to be named children of God. But being the people we are, we want to have our senses satisfied. Even though we know that we already have more than we deserve, because of who we are, we want more.
And God in God’s wisdom has taken care of this! God sent Jesus to be among us. And in breaking the bonds of death, Jesus returned to us. But in Jesus’ ascension into Heaven, we are left again. Yet we are not left alone. Although it is not in today’s reading we are given the gift of the Holy Spirit. It is through the Holy Spirit that Jesus remains with us. Through the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives, we are empowered to carry out Christ’s mandate into the world. It is through the Holy Spirit working through us that Jesus is still present in the world.
So, now we have come to the moment you all have been waiting for. You will now meet Jesus face-to-face! Ready? Ok, please turn to the person sitting next to you and say, “Jesus! It is so good to have you here!” That is right! The person sitting next to you is how Jesus is at work in the world. Even those who may not be present here are still part of the body of Christ. If you help the person next to you, you are helping Jesus! If you invite the person next to you out for breakfast, you can even watch Jesus eat! We can see Jesus in the hands of those who lift up the poor. We see Jesus in the feet of those who walk to help the ones in need. When those hands that lift the poor are our own, we see Jesus in our own hands. When we are the ones who walk, we can see Jesus in out own feet. Yes, we see Jesus in the people around us, but we can even see Jesus when we look into the bathroom mirror.
In our baptism, we have become one with Christ. We are the tools Christ uses to work in the world. When Christ needs hands, we are his hands. When Christ needs words, we are his mouth. When Christ needs to make an appearance in the world, we are his way of appearing. When a stranger walks into our midst, we become Christ’s way of greeting that person.
Although I had been talking about magic, Christ’s presence is not magic trick. Christ eating with the disciples was no magic trick. Christ’s presence with us now is no magic trick. Christ is present with us! Christ is present in us! Christ is the person sitting next to us! Christ is the person in the car driving past. In returning from the dead, Christ broke the bonds of death. In returning from the dead, Christ broke the bonds of place.
It really was Jesus at the meal in the upper room, and it really is Jesus here at the altar with us today! We may have trouble believing, but when we look at those around us and we look at ourselves, we are seeing Jesus alive! He really is here!

What the second service heard, was similar to this, but there was a whole lot more added!

Divine Revelation

Well, I have had a revelation: I was watching The Jerry Springer Show, when Jesus appeared to me. Granted, Jesus looked an awful lot like Perez Hilton, but hey, I cannot control theophanies.

But Perez Hilton, oops!, I mean Jesus, told me that the best way to reach out to the Heathen Homo (hence forth to be known as "HH") is by infiltrating their ranks as a SPY! So, from now on, I AM ONLY PRETENDING TO BE SAME-SEX ATTRACTED! (Really, I am not SSA but it is the least I can do to save all of you HHs from the trials of the AFTERLIFE! (And no, I am not talking about the party here at Quest Labs after the bars close.))

So, I will be around for a while, I have to be around to save you all from yourself! I will make the great sacrifice!! And remember, I AM NOT A HH! I AM JUST A SPY!

Nick's Return: The Follow-Up

Before

After

Well, the surprises for Nick kind of backfired.

As you can see, one of the surprises was to dye the dog blue. To get this much was a pain and I really didn't want to spend a whole lot of money to do it. So she had a blue head and a blue back. Unfortunately, when Nick came home, he thought she had gotten into some toilet cleaner or something and I got a panicked text message to call him! I reassured him that the blue was only sidewalk chalk and that the dog was ok.

Then there was the fake PA. I bought some clip-on ring earrings for the purpose. (Nick keeps threatening that if I come home with a PA, he will disown me!) So, I put the earring on/in and head home. When the time comes for the great unveiling, THE RING FELL OUT! So there was just the unadorned me. All that planning (and a bit of pain) for nothing. Bummer.

So, I guess both surprises were a bust. Oh well.

My Last Post

Well, faithful readers, Quest Labs is closing.

Due to lack of federal funding and much deep soul searching, I have decided that what I have been hearing from the folks at Exodus is correct. I have recommitted my life to Jesus and have felt a great change in my life. Having Nick gone for a while has shown me the error in my ways. I am not homosexual, I just have been giving into the evil spirit of homosexuality.

You too can be changed by Christ! Give your life to Jesus and just pray! We don't need to be lovers of men, we can follow the example of David and Jonathan and just be really good friends! We can stand naked before each other and not have sex! God can do anything! God can deflate that same-sex lust inspired erection! Just think of Jesus as your "Homo Anti-Viagra."

From this point forward, I pledge to only attend things that build up my true heterosexual identity. I will only shower at the YMCA where we manly men can stand naked before each other like David and Jonathan. I will only play manly sports where we manly men show are manliness by smacking each other on the butt. And I will only swim with other men who are proud enough of their manliness to unapologetically thrust it into the world in a pair of white Speedos.

It has been an interesting ride, my faithful readers. Know that Jesus can change you too! Just leave me a comment and I will pray that you too find the power to thrust your manliness upon the world in a pair of white Speedos!

The Nickster Has Landed

Just got a call from the airport, Nick is in Detroit. He now has to find where he parked the car and he will be on his way home! Unfortunately, I have to work late tonight, but I have a few surprises for him!! *wink*

Sermon De Jour

Easter 2, 2008 John 23 March 30, 2008 Rev. Benton Quest

In my years as a camp counselor, I have had to come up with all kinds of icebreakers when dealing with groups. You know about icebreakers, those silly games like state your name and your favorite generic drug that begins with the first letter in your name. You know those, right? Well I found one that works extremely well. This is to ask people to tell about their favorite scar.
When I first ask people to tell me about their favorite scar, they usually look at me as if I have completely lost my mind. Then, after they realize I am serious, they begin to laugh. Then after the laugh, most people settle down into a contented smile. That’s right, a smile.
It may seem strange that we smile when we think of our scars, but in my experience, that is the almost universal response. When we think about our scars, we aren’t sad and we don’t frown. Our scars are kind of like old friends. They remind us of our heroic moments and our stupid moments. They remind us of when we were heroic and when we just didn’t think things through. Our scars are the chronicle of our lives.
It may surprise you that I would speak so forthright about scars. It may also surprise you that I could make such glowing generalities about scars. But really, it shouldn’t be that surprising: To be human is to have scars. In the process of living, we get scars. Some of these scars are imposed upon us by others and some we impose upon ourselves. Some happen by idly walking into a wall while others happen when the bully pushes us down the slide. No matter what, we all have scars.
There is one common denominator with all scars: they are not acquired without pain. These is pain in a cut, there is pain in a scrape. Scars are what we have left to show that we have endured the pain. Scars are our “trophy” for having endured the pain. Even if we get the scar from surgery, we still had to endure the pain of recovery.
Now, when you get a scar, it is pretty much there for life. Plastic surgeons can work on scars to try to reduce them, they can make scars less visible, but they really can’t make them go totally away. Once you get a scar, it is yours for life.
So, to restate what I had said before: our scars tell the story of who we are. We may not like the pain associated with scars, we may not like the look of the scars; but like them or not, we have scars. To be human is to be scarred.
So why all of this carrying on about scars? Well, there was something in the gospel today that really bothered me: Why was Jesus able to show his wounds to the disciples? Why could Jesus show his hands and side to Thomas? I thought after our death our bodies would be glorified. I though we were to have wonderful bodies, bodies that were so much better than the bodies we have now. So if we are supposed to have these wonderful, glorified bodies, shouldn’t the risen Christ have a gotten a glorified body also? Why weren’t those ugly holes all healed? Why wasn’t the gash in his side made sealed up? Since Jesus is God incarnate, then surely his wounds should have been healed; his scars should have been made clean. This question really bothered me. Maybe the whole thing about a glorified body was wrong.
No, there had to be something more to this. It was then that I started contemplating scars. Our scars are a chronicle of the events of our lives; our scars document the learning of our lives. These scars document what it is that makes each of us special. To take away the scars, to take away events that caused these scars, would be to change us from what we are.
To be human is to be wounded; to be human is to be scarred. Yes, we have been wounded, and yes, we have been scarred; but it is not our scars that make us human. In a perfect world, there would be no scars. God does not want us to have wounds, scars. But God also gave us freewill. And it is with this freewill that we choose to go against God, it is with this freewill that we choose to sin. And it is through this sin that wounds occur and that we obtain our scars.
Now Christ was without sin, but became sin for our sake. He took on our woundedness, he took on our scars. By coming to us, even after his resurrection, as one who is wounded, Christ continues to show us that he is the suffering servant. Christ does not just shake off the flesh and say, “Wow, I’m glad that is over.” No, he continues proudly in the flesh, wounds and all.
The writer of the Gospel of John calls Christ’s wounds a sign. A sign is something that points beyond itself. So these wounds of Christ point beyond what we can see and point us to something larger. The wounds of Christ point us to the redeeming power of God. The world had given all it had to Jesus. The world did everything it could to break Jesus. The world inflicted the greatest torture it could conjure up upon Christ. And to all involved, It looked like the world had won, but in the end, it was God that had prevailed. The worst that the world could inflict, death, had no control over Christ.
And death has no control over us. This is the promise made to us believers. This is the promise of our baptism. The tortures of the world will not hold. Through Christ’s love, we will prevail over the powers of the world
Because we will prevail over death does not mean that we will not encounter pain and suffering during life. It does not mean that we will not receive scars. Because of the world we live in and the people we are, we will encounter suffering. However, I also know that when we suffer, Christ suffers along with us. We are not left alone during these times. By showing his wounds, Christ reminds us that the pains of the world are still with him. He still bears the wounds that were inflicted. These wounds did not go away, they are still there.
It is the wounds that were inflicted upon him because of our sin that he shows to the disciples. But Christ shows these wound not to make the disciples feel guilty nor to make us feel guilty. By showing us his wounds, Christ is saying to us, “I have withstood this suffering for you and I will continue to be here. I will not leave you alone.” Christ’s body is wounded, even after his resurrection, not as a means of seeking revenge, but as a means of providing us what we need to continue in faith.
This may sound odd, but when we think of Christ’s scars, we can smile. The wounds on his hands and feet and the wound on his side are the chronicle of our salvation. We would not be who we are without them. But it is more than just the wounding, it is the resurrection that brings the healing. The scars of life will not go away, but through Christ’s own scars our scars are recognized and redeemed. To be human is to be scarred, but to be Christian is to know that Christ is with us to heal our wounds and to give us the strength to carry on.

Award Winning Artist

I had entered two of my sun catchers in an art show at Delphi Glass. I am happy to say, the Santa won second place in the sun catcher category and Jesus won third place in the sun catcher category.

The only problem with all of this is that there were only three entries in the category. But still, I am proud of them and I can now claim to be an award winning artist!

News on Nick

Well, Nick made it safely to Florida and is having a great time. He has been telling me that the weather has been warm and wonderful down there. I am happy because when he was in Jacksonville in January, it was not really wonderfully warm. I told him that when he comes home, I expect to see a tan, AND NO TAN LINES!

We have really been tossing around the idea of moving to Florida. There is nothing keeping us here in Michigan. And hopefully moving away from the grey winters may help my depression. I could also handle living within a couple of hours of the gulf or the ocean.

Even in I ended up working at a Starbucks in Florida, IT WOULD BE A STARBUCKS IN FLORIDA! If I am going to sell overpriced coffee, it might as well be to Speedo clad bronze gods.

Leavin' On A Jet Plane

Nick is flying to Florida after work today.

SOMEDAY I will be able to go with him, but as things are now, I am back at home waiting for his return. He is going to celebrate the 20th Anniversary at the church he helped to found.

10 Years Ago Today

Ten years ago today, the FDA approved the "Little Blue Pill." I remember all the discussion if insurance should pay $10 per hard-on pill or if it should be something that the patient should pay.

Here is an hilarious, but definitely NSFW spam ad for Viagra.

Post-Easter Relaxation

We have always wondered what those little marshmallow chicks do once Easter is over!

9 Months To Go!

What does Santa have in his bag for you?

Easter Recap

This Easter was different than ones of the past. In many ways, it had a whole lot more meaning. I think this was because I really identified with the stories and with the whole season.

The Holy Week is all about the tension of the worldly and the divine. The disciples are forced to view the trials of life and to deal with these trials without the support systems they thought would be there. There are troubles and trials of life and but also there are the promises that are made in the death and resurrection of Christ.

So, I guess that going through the trials of life that seem to be quite abundant right now, Holy Week seemed to be especially meaningful.

You might say that this is just another example of an "opiate of the people" and you may be right, but in many ways, our views of life are just exactly that, our VIEWS. Life may truly be going down the tubes, but if we have a positive attitude, we can usually make it through.

If you are interested, here is the sermon I preached on Easter morning. The service was an Easter Vigil which involves moving from darkness into light.

Easter Vigil Year A, March 23, 2008 Matthew 28:1-10 Rev. Benton Quest

It must have been a hard time for the disciples. Everything they had given their lives for was gone. Their leader was killed on a cross and was now laid in a tomb. They didn’t know what they were going to do. They were afraid of the people around them and afraid that they may be the next to be searched out and killed. There was no light to guide them. The world looked pretty dark and ugly.
Every good Jew would have known the stories of redemption we have heard this morning. They would have known how God had upheld and sustained them, the Chosen people, throughout history. They would have heard these stories since childhood. But with all the events that have happened over the past week, things looked like they may be too dire for even God to be able to handle. So the disciples sat, locked way, and waited.
I just love the irony we find in the Bible. But what I find unfortunate is that we often hear the stories so many times that we lose the irony and the lessons we can be taught by the irony. I am kind of embarrassed to say that one of the big, glowing, ironies of the whole Easter story had totally eluded me: That would be the irony of the tomb.
If you have never heard of the irony of the tomb, that is ok. I am not even sure if it is an official designation. Actually, it is something that came to me while I was thinking of how the whole message of the Easter Vigil could be applied to my life. It was then that I realized that we have two opposite and unexpected things happening almost simultaneously. In one part of Jerusalem we have a closed tomb. We have a man who was bound by death and the grave being released from these bonds. We have the stone being rolled back and the one who was previously bound emerging into total freedom. On the other side of Jerusalem, we have that group of disciples gathered together. They are locked in a room and are bound by fear. We don’t know if they had forgotten what they were told, or if they doubted that they were taught. It seems impossible they could have forgotten what they saw with their own eyes when Lazarus emerged from the tomb. All that we know is that the ones who had been assured of the freedom that Christ’s death and resurrection would bring were choosing to remain trapped and bound by their fear and doubt. Such an ironic situation: freedom had come to the disciples and they were choosing to remain bound in their fear.
Now it would be easy to say that the disciples lacked faith, but that is unfair. We have the gift of perspective. But even though thousands of years have passed, and with all of our perspective, we still find ourselves in the same ironic position. We still find ourselves locked away in fear. And I think in some ways the irony is even intensified; we have all the stories the disciples had plus we have the story of the resurrection, which was just something that was hinted at for the disciples. And yet, we still find ourselves choosing bondage over freedom and darkness over light.
Why do we do this? Why should we choose to remain in a tomb or darkness when the risen Christ is just waiting for us? I think in many ways, the promise of the resurrection is just too much for us to believe. The gift of unearned forgiveness and eternal life is often just too much for us to consider. We live in the world of that which is seen and that which is predictable. The whole concept of resurrection is beyond what we can readily experience. So instead of going out in faith, we often default to our fear and remain bound.
But we can learn from what may be the biggest irony of the whole Bible: The history of our salvation does not travel through the biggest or the strongest. The salvation of Israel and our salvation travels through those who were small, weak, or in the eyes of the world, damaged. Moses had a problem with speaking and killed a man. Jacob steals the birthright from his brother. David was the youngest of his family and was an adulterer.
And if we look at the disciples it was not much better. These people were simple towns folk. Fishers, tax collectors, no one of fame or status. It seems ironic that Jesus would not have picked people who were well known and would have immediately commanded respect. It seems ironic that Jesus would have picked simple people, even people whom society disdained. But this is part of the whole chain of irony we see: Jesus spreads his message through those who often seem to be the least likely candidates.
We even see the irony in Christ’s choice of who first sees him in his resurrected state. We need to remember that women did not have much status in the world of Biblical times, so for a woman to be the first to see the risen Christ and to tell of the resurrection would be similar to having a complete nobody trying to see a product. In biblical times, such a fantastic story as the resurrection coming from a woman would not be believed. It would have been better to have a man report back that he had seen the risen Lord instead of a woman. Jesus should have used someone with social clout to tell of the resurrection. It reminds me of those Geico commercials we have been seeing lately. In the Geico ads, the company makes sure there is a famous spokesperson along with the unknown person because supposedly we won’t believe the unknown person but we will believe the famous person with him or her. But Jesus isn’t Geico. Jesus didn’t use the famous or the powerful to spread his message. The risen Christ sends his message into the world through Mary, the one person whom society would have the easiest time discrediting. It is total irony that the one person who could be most discredited is the one person who truly did spread the message.
And the irony continues. Christ appears to those who have locked themselves away. He calls them out and uses them to spread his love and his message. Even though the disciples may have forgotten the promises that were made, Christ still follows through on those promises.
Christ changes Paul; the one who persecuted the Christians became the one who would bring the message of Christ to the gentile communities.
And Christ can even use us! We can see that Jesus reaches out to all kinds of people. We can see that Jesus can perform great miracles with just us fallible sinners. Even in the midst of darkness that may be in our lives, Christ can bring light.
Our day is moving from darkness into light. And with that light comes the promise of another day. Mary went to the tomb in the dark of the morning, but encountered the light of Christ which blessed her and sent her to spread the word. The disciples were closed away in darkness, but the light of the risen Christ would search them out and release them from the bonds they placed upon themselves. We may feel lost in the dark but the light of Christ is always there for us, begging us to come and follow.
It is irony that Christ, God incarnate would come to save us. It is irony that Christ would not search out the great and powerful but look to the average person to spread his message. And it is a glorious irony that even while we were still in sin, while we still doubt, what we still hide ourselves away, Christ would shine his light into our lives.

Happy Easter

Joyous Easter to you all. And for those of you who may not be of a Christian persuasion, have a joyous day anyway! I think we could all use a little joy around this time of year.

T.G.I.G.F!

Well, it is Good Friday. And truly I am thankful. Yes, for all the theological reasons, but also because we are approaching the end of Holy Week, the busiest time in the chruch year.

There was a service last night for Maundy Thursday. There will be a service at noon and at seven today. There will be rehersal tomorrow morning and then I have to work. Then on Sunday, I have to preach at 6:30 am and then be at the 10 am service. And after all of that, Nick and I are going to Nick's family for Easter. I actually think I will be happy to go to work on Monday!

Happy Good Friday, all

Welcome To Spring!

OK, it is not this warm yet, but with spring in the air, a (not so) young man's thoughts lightly turn to thoughts of WHITE SPEEDOS!

Some Thoughts

I have been thinking about my feelings the past couple of days and why some things have just gotten me in such a turmoil. When something gets me that rocked, I know there has to be something more going on.

I think a major portion of the whole thing is the battle of two worlds that has been the hallmark of my life. I was raised by working class people in a working class home. My folks are "salt of the earth" type people who, due to circumstance of family and society, never finished the eighth grade. Our home was a kick-off-your-shoes-and-put-your-feet-on-the-coffee-table type of place. I don't think we ever had a matching set of towels or sheets. "Pretense" was just a sign of trying prove to others that you were something that you were not.

Now, all modesty aside, I am from that world but I am also from the world of academia. I do not have to go through my vitae, but suffice it to say that I have spent more time in college than some people spend in school. But even with all of this time in college, I still wore my Chuck Taylor's to graduation and wore my Garfield socks to defend my thesis.

I believe one of the best ways to show respect for someone is to provide them with a comfortable place to relax. This belief in comfort makes its way into my theology. Church is a place to "kick back with God." Yes, it is also a place to be challenged and to be moved, but it is also a place to be recharged. Maybe I focus too much on the "kicking back" and that focus on comfort may make some people feel (ironically) uncomfortable. But I also feel that for our faith to be meaningful in our lives, it must be something that we can truly live in.

I guess my focus on comfort opens the door for comments about sloppiness. And maybe there is some truth in that. But I also think that there are some others out there who need their faith to fit like an old shoe or maybe it would be better to say a well made running shoe; something that is truly comfortable and won't cause blisters. Maybe some need the blisters.

Dream Ticket

This is just too scary.
It's actually an ad for a school in Brussels.

(H/T to Joe. My. God.)

Rollerskates on the Treadmill

That is the way things have been feeling lately: The wheels are turning, but the landscape has not been changing.

I am supposed to be preaching this Easter. New life, renewed hope. All that good stuff. What do I feel? Lost, frustrated, trapped. More of the same old stuff.

I apologize to my loyal readers (all four of you!) for posting so often about my frustration at the slow pace of change. There are just so many things that combine to make these past years (!) so complex. Whenever something happens, a whole series of guilt, anger, and frustration surfaces.

I placed guilt first because I was raised Roman Catholic and I grew up doing guilt well. I learned early on how to feel guilty about all kinds of things from my thoughts to things my body did. So, of course, when things go wrong, I feel guilty. I feel guilty that I don't put enough time into reviewing the church readings. I feel guilty that I mix up words while reading. I feel guilty that I have these feelings that "the church" doesn't like. I feel guilty that my sense of humor rankles the genteel folk. I feel guilty that I don't have the energy to invest into the church that I would like to have.

But then things switch into frustration. It is really easy to put time into the church when that is your full-time job. However, when you are working 40 hours/week, highly underemployed, trying to make ends meet, and trying to give time to the church, then get some attitude because you are not doing things "right," that gets frustrating. Not feeling supported, that is frustrating. Missing "being smart," that is frustrating.

This last comment about being smart may seem odd, but not if you think about it. Probably the best way to think about it is to be mentally bored. I miss the mental challenges that come from being in a church setting. Making coffee for eight hours a day really doesn't do much to spark the creative juices.

Then comes anger. Angy at it all! Ranting and raving mad! Pissed at the world, at God, at people trying to help me, at life. I start to turn into something that I really don't like.

Then, of course, I feel guilty about being angry and needy. And with that, the loop begins again.

Five Years Ago

Yep, five years ago we went over to Iraq for some empire building policing of those godless Muslims. And, WOW! We are still there!

Arrrgggg....

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Couldn't find a picture of a sexy leprechaun so I found sexy David Beckham and gave him a green bulge for the season!

Democrats in Michigan and Florida

I just find it intriguing that the leaders of the two states are running around crying about how ill treated they have been from the National Party. "Oh, they have been so mean to us!!" *said in best whiny voice*

But face it, the party said if the primaries were moved, there would be a cost. The states, in defiance moved the primary dates, and the cost was exacted.

Now, if there is something unfair about the ruling, go after the ruling. But also realize that when you break the ruling, there will be a cost.

As someone who didn't even vote in the primary because my vote wasn't going to matter, I am offended when Mrs. Clinton says she won Michigan. I know that there were others like me who felt totally disenfranchised and so stayed away from the polls. And when you are the only one on the ballot (there was also some other "also ran" on the ballot whom I cannot remember)it is not hard to win.

I think the governments of FL and MI need to quit crying "Poor us!" and face the fact that they made a choice and it had consequences. And I also think the primary should be redone. I also think the states should have to foot the bill. If they wouldn't have been breaking the rules in the first place, we wouldn't be in the situation we are in now.

I guess it is like disagreeing with the placement of a stop light. Running the light and getting a ticket. Then expecting the city to pay for the ticket. It doesn't make sense.

My View From The Box

Well, this is the box update: OCD Alien Boy has put in his two-week notice.

I have some real mixed feelings about the whole thing. Yes, I will admit that there is a part of me that is VERY happy he will be gone. Even though I tried to be a "less anxious presence" around work, having the Alien Boy there made keeping that less anxious presence very taxing.

But another part of me is kind of sad. I have actually seen some change to the positive in Mr. OCD. He actually was making conversation and not just running around cleaning. Granted he had some way to go, but don't we all?

Granted, OCD has to be tied up in perfectionism in some manner, but is there a perception problem also? We all err, but is it more difficult for a person with OCD to admit the error? (Just pondering.)

Oh well.

Sometime I will have to go into some detail about the eye candy and lack there of that can be seen from the box.

Milestones

Before



After



Probably not a big thing any more, but when I was in high school, that was the first time my car rolled over the hundred thousand mile mark. And back then, it was cool because the odometers didn't go that high so the car would become "New" as it went back to all zeros.

Now, cars surpassing one-hundred thousand mark are no biggie.

Humm...I titled this milestones so are there other milestones in my life? It doesn't really seem so. A year ago I was in New Orleans. It was nice to be there. I was loving the warmth. I am looking forward to the weather getting warmer. I guess a year ago I would not have thought I would be in this position. I guess I didn't think I would still be unemployed/underemployed.

Now we have the increased stress of Nick being unemployed.

Just had another 800 call come through. I guess I will be happy when I don't have to dread having the phone ring.

When I hate about the situation/economy is that everything become a crisis. No Dr.'s visits until it becomes crisis level. Pay as much on the bills as possible, but still get socked with the finance charges. It was suggested to get credit counseling, but trying to find a reputable one is difficult. And I am not in debt enough to file bankruptcy. (Yep, I am in debt enough to ruin my credit rating for life, but not enough to file bankruptcy.)

Oy Vey! Sorry, didn't mean for this to turn into a pity party.

My View From The Box

I work in a Starbucks in a Meijer store.

For those of you who may not be from the Michigan area, Meijer is one of the originators of the "Super Store" concept. The chain started as a small family grocery store and has grown into a series of super stores over something like five states.

Now the Starbucks is an area about 14 feet by 14 feet. It is within this small area that we may have upwards of five people working! So when I was kvetching about the OCD Alien Boy, you can understand some of the frustration. Being in that small of an area with someone who has such high anxiety levels tends to raise the anxiety of everyone.

When you are "in the box," your view of the world does not change much. (I will post a picture when I get a chance.) We get to look out upon the green, yellow, orange, and red bell peppers. We look upon the cucumbers; both seeded and seedless. And we have a perfect view of the grapes.

Now, the grape section I find incredible. I cannot believe how many people who will just walk up to the grape section and start eating the grapes. Part of me wants to run out and hand people napkins when I see it happen. What about grapes makes people think that it is ok to eat them without paying for them? We don't rip open an orange or grapefruit without paying for it. I don't even see people eating things like cherries without paying. But grapes seem to be in a whole different league. People eat them without remorse. And not just one! People will stand there and graze!

I am sure that if you asked these same people if they thought theft was wrong, they would all agree. I am also sure that if you asked these people if they would ever shoplift, they may say that they have thought about it, but would not do it. But here they are, noshing on grapes without a single thought of who is going to have to pay for them.

It just floors me.

I am sure there will be more Views from the Box later.

EDIT: Here is my view from the box.

This Should Make Us All Angry

(h/t to G-A-Y)

The Trouble With the Oscars

How terrible! We can't let them darn Oscars out of our sight! Can you believe they would put that on the cover of a magazine? Do we have Oscar sex going on? Maybe I am just a perv, but it looks like the Oscars on the left are kissing and the ones on the right? Well...uh...

This has got to have something to do with the Homosexual Agenda, somehow.

Gary Gygax dead at 69

I just heard about this. A part of my childhood has died. Well, that may be a bit melodramatic, but Gary Gygax was an important part of my high-school years.

If you have never heard of Gary Gygax, you obviously didn't play Dungeons and Dragons. Gygax was the creator of D&D and I spend a large part of my high-school years playing. I even got out of work early so I could play. We had a group of about 15 kids who would get together and play into the wee hours of the morning. It was a lot of fun.

I had some of the coolest dice. I even had a set that glowed in the dark!

I just find this sad.

Well, DUH!

You Are Gay

In your opinion, there's nothing sexier than your own sex. There's definitely nothing straight about you!

What's" Your Sexual Orientation?

First Lutheran Jesus

Well, this is the latest creation. I made it from the logo of the church where I did my internshipp. I thought the thing would look cool. Unfortunately, the painting of the face was difficult. I cannot quite get the look of joy that is on the logo.

Sometimes I Just Hate Life

[rant]Well, I am glad we have the land-line phone. I have begun to think of it as the HSBC Hotline. Really, the only people who ever call it is HSBC.

I hate being in this situation: I feel like such a schmuck for not being able to pay my bills. I hate having people constantly hitting me up for money I don't have.

And I know I shouldn't, but every time it happens, I get mad at the church. If they were truly loving like Christ, I would not be thoroughly underemployed.

Sorry.[/rant]

Living With (Someone who has) OCD

Ok, maybe not living with, but working with...

I find myself really divided when working with the guy with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). (He did admit that he did have OCD.) I want to be helpful and understanding, but also, the guy drives me nuts! Perpetual motion comes to mind. And it is not that the motion is purposeful, in many ways it is just motion. Again, last night, the cash register was cleaned at least four times. It just continues to compound: one little thing, then another, and another!

The whole anxiety cycle is amazing to watch. The continuous cleaning increases the anxiety of the team. Then Mr. OCD cleans more in the hope of gaining acceptance which just increases the anxiety.

Mr. OCD also seems to be very socially immature. He has a very "young" sense of humor in that involves "annoying" those around him. One of his ways of interacting is to shine the laser scanner into peoples' faces. You can tell he is trying to interact but it just doesn't work. I feel sorry for him.

I also feel bad that my patience is not longer. I am pretty good at keeping a good sense of humor about the whole thing, but after a couple of hours, I just want him to go away. What also worries me is that my frustration just adds to the general anxiety of the system.

10 Months to Go!

Job Up-Date!

For the most part, I love the people I work with. They are interesting, open minded people. One of the nice things is that I am out to all of them so I don't have to be constantly editing my language.

HOWEVER...(You knew this was coming!)One of my co-workers is about to drive me nuts! Within a six hour stretch I was with him, he cleaned the cash register four times. He took all the pastries out of the pastry case, at 2 pm, and cleaned it. Now, 2 pm is prime pastry selling time! He stacked all the cups in front of the espresso machine so he could wash the plastic holder. It is hard to make espresso when there are cups sitting in front of it. Even when the boss told him to "STOP CLEANING!" he would continue. And when the boss went home for the day, we had the White Tornado return. I know that when he shows up at work, the stress level of the group seems to rise.

This is also the guy who I thought was "family." Now, he says he is not gay, but so does Larry Craig. What is interesting is that as soon as he heard I was gay, he had all kinds of questions about places Nick and I go when we go out and what we experience from the people around us. I just answer his questions. It took me 40years to come to grips. Then again, he may just be interested and nothing more.

Discussions with Kirby

It had been a while! I replied to Kirby over a month ago, and didn't hear anything back. I have now heard back and am deciding to wish Kirby well and send him on his way.


He will probably say that he was correct and that I am ending the discussion because I do not want to face the truth of his argument. My usual reply to this is that I have been down the road these arguments lead and have found them wanting. "Been there, done that." I am not going to get involved in the whole "he said/he said" thing. When the Pope is lifted as the ultimate authority and it is argued that all revelation ended with the disciples, it is at this point that I realize that carrying this discussion on any farther is fruitless. I am not the pope, not an original disciple. Anything I say will be disregarded.

Kirby, blessings on you as you pursue your path to find God. And yes, I will keep you in prayer.

New Hands

Nick bought some new hands for my clock. I think it looks much better.

Pattern byChantal

New Job Continued

Yesterday was a thrill! I got to spend seven hours in front of a computer screen learning all kinds of [sarcasm]fun and useful things![/sarcasm] Granted, there really is not good way of presenting all the information, but after seven hours, not a whole lot was getting in.

[whine]I miss having a ton of time to myself and being able to go with Nick when he travels to Flint.[/whine] I just need to find a way to get someone to sponsor my life. Maybe I could tattoo an ad on my body and then have someone pay me to walk around so the ad can be seen. I know it has been done before.

Panda Porn

I just heard about this yesterday. How can something like this be happening! What are we doing? How can we expose those cute pandas to such filth!! THE GAYS must have something to do with it!!

Back to Making Coffee

Someone said, "The more things change, the more they stay the same."

You know, coffee is coffee. Some things are different, like the placement of the syrups and where the spoons go. But at the first day of the new job, I was making coffee.

I have to learn how to ring things up on the cash register because it is different than what I had been used to. And "NO!" I will not ring up any of my own purchases!

I think one of the employees is a family memeber. If not, he should be!

But back today. And today I will get to start the basic training! Should be fun!! :P