Tuesday, April 01, 2008

My Last Post

Well, faithful readers, Quest Labs is closing.

Due to lack of federal funding and much deep soul searching, I have decided that what I have been hearing from the folks at Exodus is correct. I have recommitted my life to Jesus and have felt a great change in my life. Having Nick gone for a while has shown me the error in my ways. I am not homosexual, I just have been giving into the evil spirit of homosexuality.

You too can be changed by Christ! Give your life to Jesus and just pray! We don't need to be lovers of men, we can follow the example of David and Jonathan and just be really good friends! We can stand naked before each other and not have sex! God can do anything! God can deflate that same-sex lust inspired erection! Just think of Jesus as your "Homo Anti-Viagra."

From this point forward, I pledge to only attend things that build up my true heterosexual identity. I will only shower at the YMCA where we manly men can stand naked before each other like David and Jonathan. I will only play manly sports where we manly men show are manliness by smacking each other on the butt. And I will only swim with other men who are proud enough of their manliness to unapologetically thrust it into the world in a pair of white Speedos.

It has been an interesting ride, my faithful readers. Know that Jesus can change you too! Just leave me a comment and I will pray that you too find the power to thrust your manliness upon the world in a pair of white Speedos!


Lemuel said...

Thank you all the same, but, as for myself, I just got "here" and I don't plan on going back. ;)

TigerYogiji said...

Praise Jesus and Happy April Fool's Day!! ;P

Ur-spo said...

just don't do the white speedos before Memorial Day.