Monday, January 11, 2010

Today is the Day!

If you are getting tired of hearing about the whole BUX thing I guess I have some good news.  Today I will be giving work my two-week notice.  If you don't want to hear any more about this, then I would send you to Swimpixx for some pictures of cute guys in speedos.

The resignation letter goes out today.  When I started working at BUX, (over three years ago), it was supposed to be a stop-gap position until I could find a church.  We always hear how churches are in need of clergy, I figured this would be a no-brainer:  Short time doing a seemingly fun job and then get back to the real work of doing the church thang.  Well, it wasn't so fast going back to the church thang.  And being in BUX has definitely lost its luster.

I am a pretty highly introverted person.  In the church, this can be dealt with; office doors can be closed while work is being done.  Or, in the age of laptop computers, sermons and other things can be written while having a BUX instead of making it.  But when you work at BUX, there is no escaping from the thronging masses; even when feeling overwhelmed. 

My feelings about being gay that I stated previously is not that I hate being gay, it is that I get so frustrated when people try to say that their opinions on all things GLBT really has no impact.  Yes, it does have an impact!  Nick likened this to the great doctor who could not practice because he was black.  Not saying I am a great preacher, but prejudice hurts us in ways we don't necessarily consider.  Also, I don't think people know how their opinions (and votes) truly impact actual people, not just imaginary or stereotypical "gay people."

I had to make a decision with work:  Do I change myself to fit the job or do I try to change the job?  Trying to change the job is the bigger task so I first tried to change my thoughts and expectations.  When I reached that "I can't change any more" point, I tried to change the work setting.  (A much more difficult prospect!)  Now that this is not working, I have finally decided that I need to remove myself from the setting.  Too many thoughts of hurting myself or others.  This is not a good thing!  (And me with no therapist or medication!)

Well, that is it for now.  I am sure more will appear as it occurs.


Java said...

I learned that my opinions about GLBT issues have a huge impact on a few people, and significant impact on the world at large. I'm a straight ally, but used to be a conservative Christian homophobe. I like being an ally much better. I don't know where that leaves me as a Christian, though, because I don't know how to worship anymore. Wish I could find a good Christian pastor/minister who is gay or very gay friendly. As far as I can tell they don't exist around here.

Congratulations on your resignation.

As an introvert myself, I can sympathize with your need to escape the crowd. Don't know how you have managed to stay with the BUX for as long as you have. Good luck and God Bless as you forge your way forward.

Urspo said...

I hope these moves are empowering and make you feel better. Good luck.

Lemuel said...

I will echo Ur-Spo. I think he said it well. My best wishes and prayers go with you.

My other site said...

Spent my life as a square peg...those round holes can be quite uncomfortable.