I ran into a former colleague of mine today at work. He looked at me behind the counter at Starbucks and asked what I was doing back there. Then he said, "Or would that be too long of a story?" I said that it was a long story but involved the Episcopal church and decisions made at the ELCA churchwide assembly. He gave me a knowing nod and said we should get together and talk.
The rector I work with keeps telling me that I need to take time to heal, but how can healing occur when everything around me keeps inflicting pain? To be someplace, doing something, would help. But when I get done with a weekend like this past weekend, working and doing church work, I just want to quit. I don't hate my job. I don't hate the church. I am just tired of being in Episcopal limbo.
Seeing colleagues is such a bittersweet thing. I miss the people I came to consider my friends. But when I see them again, it drives home the point that I am not one of them, I am an other.
Sorry about the whine.