Monday, December 11, 2006

Pizza Party

Well, some wounds have healed, some have not.

I just got back from the beer and pizza party held in my honor by the guys from the Saturday morning Bible study group from my former congregation. It was a good time but it was also difficult. It was hard to talk to people around a table in a restaurant. It was also hard to keep up a smiling face when I was worrying about how to prepare the house to sell. It was nice to see all the people and know that their lives have gone well but it was hard knowing that I was less and less in those lives.

The situations of life have gotten to me lately. I have come to the decision that I will be selling my house. It was a hard decision to make but there really was no other option. I can't make mortgage payments, so moving is the only option.

I am sitting with these people whose lives have gone on pretty much unruffled while my life is falling apart. And what is the difference between us? I love someone who the people who tell me Jesus loves me now says Jesus hates me because I love this person.

At this point, I really don't even know what I want to say.


Ur-spo said...

hang in there.
those who walk into the wilderness hurt for a while, but they get somewhere.

Lemuel said...

I know that it seems as if your life is falling apart, but in a strange sense I see your life as coming together and as beginning. I am sorry to hear about your decision to sell the house. I know how much that means to you.

Old Pastor said...

Jesus does not hate you -- many of the individuals of whom you speak do not hate you. Don't paint all the people with the brush of the "Church". The church is a perfect institution -- the problem is that it is made up of imperfect people. Hang in there -- you are not alone -- Love you

Steve and Warren ~ said...

Be of good cheer - life is worth the living - just because He lives - so will you Ben.

Yes we are alive and well...

Take care

Steve and Warren