Thursday, January 03, 2013

Thoughts on Marriage Equality

Nik and I celebrated out First Wedding Anniversary yesterday.  We have been together for seven years, but we have only been legally married for one.  And from what I can tell, we have not destroyed a single heterosexual (or homosexual) marriage in the process.

This whole thing reminds me of bullying.  "We have it and we are not going to let you have it."  It reminds me of the "prestige" car effect:  We have a Cadillac, that makes us better than you!  Oh no, you can now afford a Cadillac!!  We have a Lexus, that makes us better than you!  The people complained because "teh gays" were just horny hormone bags, they really didn't want to do anything other than have sex.  But now "teh gays" want to settle down and have families.  "Oh no!  They are not just horny hormone bags!"  That would put "teh gays" on the same level as anyone else and we can't have that.  (Oh no, they want our Lexusi!)

Actually, what we considered our anniversary is actually more Biblical than most.  If we consider consummation the marker of marriage, our old date is much more Biblical.  But most usually don't want to think about that.  Lacking a formal way of recognition, we look for other ways to celebrate our bonds.  It might be Biblical, it may be when we move in together, it may be when we get our first lease.  That society is reluctant to provide a formal recognition is sad.  It reminds me of slaves jumping the broom; since those in power would not provide a recognized rite, the people came up with their own.
Again, the complaint was that gay people could not form bonds.  And when that is shown to be wrong, then we need to come up with something so we can keep thinking of LGBT people as "them."  It is so much easier to be cruel to a "them" than to  soften our hearts and think of those who might be different as "us."

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