I need to find a job, but is right after Christmas the opportune time to look? How to turn this into an opportunity.
Part of the problem is dealing with seasonal affective disorder and the frustration of not being able to find a congregation. The inertia can become deadening. (Part of the reason for doing these blogs, to start a pattern of accomplishments.) For how much I question ever going back to the church, that is where my heart lies.
The demons in my head are constantly talking to me. It takes a lot of energy to silence the litany of "You do everything wrong." The amount of energy to look for the places where I have done things correctly can become tiring. I know that I do not do everything wrong, but those deep planted comments have a way of taking root. Maybe some light therapy will help!
Started putting away the Christmas stuff for this past season. Not as sad as in the past. I guess, even with its financial lacks and all, this year was pretty good. I guess I was not expecting a Christmas Miracle, so I was not upset when it didn't happen. But not expecting a miracle allowed me to enjoy the Christmas that I had.
I have some stained glass work to keep me going too. So if I can overcome the inertia, I have things that I can do.