Monday, January 14, 2013

Continued Thoughts

Well the reprieve of yesterday seems to have expired.

One of the functioning problems that I find is that I usually like a certain level of background stimulation in my life.  But when I get into funks like this, finding that level is tricky:  I can very  quickly move from optimal level to overstimulated in a very short time.  And the only way I can describe this is to say that the over-stimulation is painful.

Again, at this point, the either/or thinking takes over.  "What if I had a job and had to work?"  "Would I be able to work in the public sphere?"  It is hard to even work on glass, with the litany of "failure," and "you can't do anything right," coursing over my cortex.

So, today becomes a day of doing things to keep moving.  I have some parts of glass that need to be cut, this shouldn't be too difficult.  I have a project that needs to be foiled, that will probably wait.  This may sound counter-intuitive, but the pieces that need to be cut are very large and the pieces that need to be taped are very small.  I don't think I have the wherewithal to deal with the little pieces today.

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