Continuing Saga

Well, I talked to my parents. I dropped the suggestion that Nick and I might be coming to visit and maybe get married while we are there. Mom was not overly exuberant, but she was not against it. I talked to Dad and he was a bit quiet. I asked if he was ok with it. He was quiet. I asked if he needed some time to think about it. He said, "yes," and gave the phone to my Mom.

Mom and I chatted a bit more and Dad decided he would be ok with it.

I told Mom that we didn't care who showed up or not. If they can't deal with it, so be it!

So we are looking at a *cue chirping birds* SPRING WEDDING! We are planning on driving to Iowa in the fall to visit and to begin to make some plans. This way, it gives people some time to get used to the idea. My cousin from Denver already told me that she intends to be there!

I keep forgetting that I have to give people time to get used to the situation. I have been living it for many years, but they are still learning to adjust.

Family Homophobia

Well, my charmed homo existence has come to an end.

I seemed to have had the family that most dream of. I came out to them with little or no repercussions. Nick and I went to stay at my parents' house last summer and were allowed to stay in the room in the basement with no problems. As I said, I seemed to have the dream coming out.

But all of that seems to have changed.

I called my oldest sister to discuss a possible wedding since Iowa is more enlightened than the rest of the country, and since my family lives there, I thought it would be nice to share this my family. She seemed strangely distant when I told her but I didn't really put much more thought into it. My sister has always been supportive of me and has always been kind to Nick.

Then the next day, I got a call from my sister. She told me that she thought if I got married, it would kill my dad. That I would be upset when no one showed up at the wedding. And how dare I come there, stir things up, and then leave her to deal with the aftermath.

My sister had never made me feel ashamed before. But at that moment, I was devastated. I was not trying to rabble rouse, I just wanted to share a wonderful part of my life with my family. Was she implying that I should wait until Dad died? I know that people can't hurt us unless we let them, but that really hurt me. I trusted my sister. I feel possibly irreparable damage has been done to our relationship.

I really want to just cut my family off and go on with my life. I know that is not healthy, but ...

My sister married a guy who was a drug addict and was cheating on her. She now lives with a guy even though she claims to be Roman Catholic.

My brother is married to "the nicest manipulative bitch" I have ever met. She does nothing to raise the kids because she is off partying. She won't even visit my parents when my brother comes over.

My other sister married an abusive alcoholic who committed suicide. Then married another good old boy who made us delay the wedding so he could finish his beer.

And me wanting to marry the man I love would kill my father? Oy Vey!

The Truth

Polling Methods

A friend of mine who lives in Iowa just informed me he got a telephone poll from the office of Congressman Steve King (R-5th Congressional Dist.)

They asked him if he thought marriage should only be between a man and a woman. He said, "No" and they hung up on him.

Accurate sampling methods, huh?

Go Vermont!

This just in Vermont overturned the veto! Gay marriage is legal in Vermont! Do I hear the dominoes beginning to fall?

Yeah Iowa!!

Gay Marriage is legal in Iowa!!!

My home state comes shining through in rainbow colors! People think Iowans are backward, but I think we are just well grounded AND visionary.