Jehovah's Witnesses at the Door

I had a very pleasant conversation with some Jehovah's Witnesses this morning.  I posted about it on Facebook and got slightly rebuked by the owner of the house we are housesitting.  His comment was that he had finally gotten them to go away and never come back by telling them he was a pastor and openly gay.  Now he was afraid that my hospitality would have them ringing his doorbell again.

This just didn't set well with me.  I know that people always look for ways of brushing off JW's and Mormons.  We just don't want to get into it with them.  But are we really acting in a Christian manner just to come up with a way of offending them to make them leave?

Is it very loving to purposely offend someone?  I don't think so.  In thinking about the situation, I think Jesus would have talked to the people.  Jesus would have looked for a way to love them and to engage them.

And also, although I am secure in my faith, I am not haughty enough to think that I have all the right answers and that I do not have something that I can learn.  I also look at this as a way of sharing my faith with them.  I don't see how that can ever be a wrong thing.  If we are so certain that they are wrong, then aren't we honor bound to share our truth with them also?  (No, I do not advocate pounding people with the Faith Hammer.)

I remember some "Christian" who talked about how having Gays come into the church would be a sign that the Holy Spirit wanted that person to speak the TRUTH to the gays.  I wondered if the Holy Spirit was bringing the gays into the church to speak the TRUTH to the church.  How do I not know that maybe there was a word of truth for me in what these women were saying?

Actually, I have great respect for JW's; what they do is not easy.  How many of us would go from door to door knowing that we would probably be subject to ridicule or even have the door slammed?  I would love to have a congregation that was willing to put legs on their faith and go out into the world.  That takes more faith and more courage than we find in most pews.

I am glad I had the opportunity to speak to these two kind ladies.

Why We Think The Worst...

This is going to be chock full o' glowing generalities.  Sorry, no answers, I am not wired that way.  But hopefully in fleshing out the questions, we may be able to gain some insight.

One of the things that Martin Luther said in the Small Catechism is "We should fear and love God that we may not deceitfully belie, betray, slander, or defame our neighbor, but defend him, [think and] speak well of him, and put the best construction on everything."  (Response to the Eighth Commandment.)  I think he had a good point.  Why do we seem to assume the worst of people?  Why do we spread our negative theories about people?

I think some of it is survival value.  Let's face it, it is better to be afraid of a stick than to go up and pet a Rattlesnake.  It is safer to have a fear of heights than to fall off a cliff.  People who are not cautious tend to not add to the gene pool.  So avoiding danger has survival value.  Also, letting others know about things that are dangerous helps them to survive.

But this gets bollixed (don't you just love that word!) up when we are dealing with people.  People are more than just stimulus/response or danger/no danger.  People are a whole mix of things.  People can be simultaneously helpful and hurtful.  People can do much to help us, but people can supremely hurt us.  And those who can help us the most, are also the ones who can hurt us the most.  So I guess by presenting people and their actions in a bad light, we are protecting ourselves from getting hurt.  Unfortunately, we are also making it difficult to get the help and support we need.

It also becomes a circle.  We frame someones actions as hostile and act coolly toward the person; the person feels the coldness and instinctively backs away; we now have "proof" that the person is "hostile" and feel that our thoughts have been justified.

Another thing that factors into all of this is what is known as the Fundamental Attribution Error.  The quick definition I give for this is, "I am angry, You are an idiot," or "I am overworked, You are an idiot."  We see the things we do as being attributed to situations in our life such as being overworked or being confused.  But when it comes to other people, we see the problem as being a character flaw.  And it is easier to get angry with and feel superior to a character flaw.  However, it does a disservice to the other person.

I really try to not just assume the other person is an idiot.  But it does happen.  the Fundamental Attribution Error makes it easier to quickly assess a situation, but it doesn't always make it easier to resolve the situation.  In fact, it can cause walls to be erected that need never be there.

The problem then becomes:  How do we stop assuming the worst of people and how do we help others from assuming the worst of each other?  I would hope in a Christian setting that would not be a problem, but it often is worse in our churches.

More questions than answers. 

I usually don't beg for comments, but please!  If you have a though, leave a comment!  Thanks!

Feelings on Leaving

I was just packing up stuff from my office. 

I noticed as I was packing that even though I was with this congregation for over a year, I never felt like I was "part."  I never felt an ownership for the congregation.  Maybe "ownership" is the wrong word.  But I never felt like I was their priest.  I always felt like I was just a visitor.

Part of this may have been the way that I came into the situation.  I just presided on Sundays for almost a year.  Then I had the Archdeacon sitting in on the vestry meetings with me for about six months.  All of this lead to the feeling of just being a supply preacher.

Also, having an almost full time job in addition to the church position did not leave me time to really feel like I was their priest.  I was always so tired from the job that the congregation felt like an imposition.  My first priority should have been for the congregation, but after working 40 hours on all kinds of shifts, the only thing I wanted to do on Sunday is sleep.  And since most of my contact with the congregation is on Sunday morning, walking into the situation with disdain for them is NOT a good way to develop a warm bond with them.

I hope that this new congregation will represent a new start.  I will be going into the situation as the priest.  I will not have someone constantly looking over my shoulder.  Hopefully I will be able to be rested enough on Sundays that I will see the congregation as my calling, not as a hindrance to my life.

I pray that I will be a blessing to the people I will be serving and I pray that there is someone out there who can shepherd the people of my current congregation to grow to their full potential.  I pray that they will find someone who will view them with love and not as a stumbling block.  This is my prayer and now I need to let them go and trust that God has something in store for all of us.

Coincidence?

I was really having a bad morning. I was talking with
the senior pastor about how to go about announcing my resignation. I was of the assumption that he didn't want too much said about being gay so the letter I wrote was somewhat (well, more than somewhat) vague on why I was leaving.

I was hoping to be able to move into a call in the Episcopal church when I leave but that doesn't look like it is going to happen. So when I leave, I will be leaving without any employment. And people will wonder why I am leaving if I do not have a position.

So we talked about being totally honest or not or what. I was getting totally distressed and started thinking that a good car crash could fix things nicely. I was quite upset and left church and called .Nick and went driving around town.

Just as I was about to toss the whole idea of being a pastor and just finding a job; when I was just about to say that the whole religion thing is a bunch of trash and maybe the whole God thing is trash too; just when I wanted to run off and hide, I turn a corner and see this:
I will tell you, I almost drove off the road. It may be coincidence but I think God may be telling me something.

I got the physical for the Episcopal Church yesterday and I will be filling out the other paperwork. I guess I will be heading to the Episcopal Church. 

UPDATE:  I was later speaking with the Episcopal Bishop about this incident.  And he told me that the billboard was almost NOT put up.  People thought it was a waste of money.  It was only up for about a week.