Sometimes we see things about ourselves that we don't like.
One thing that I noted was that I was secretly hoping people I had worked with get fired. I know that seems horrible and it scared me when I noted it. I wanted those people to get fired so I didn't have to feel bad about losing my job.
I also have noted that I have been wanting to hurt people. Not just anyone (no, I am not going postal) but those people who (I feel) have hurt me. I guess it is the childish desire to "get back" at those people.
I guess I am still trying to heal some hurts. We all have hurts, but these never seem to have time to heal. Or maybe healing is occurring and I am just not aware of it. I look back and see the healing, it just dosen't seem like the healing is occurring while the events are happening.
Other Thoughts: I have started hanging out again at the Christain Forums chat site. I guess I need to go there every now and again to realize how closed minded people are. What makes me even more sad is how the people who claim to be the "stongest Christians" are the most closed minded. Some of them I want to tell, "You are not being treated badly because you are a Christian, you are being treated badly because you are a jerk."
I think it is the Tim LaHays of the world that propegate the notion that everyone is out to get rid of the all the Christians. (Read: Born-Again, Fundimentalist Christians.)
I hope you do not beat yourself up over your feelings about others losing their jobs. I think it is a thought that we naturally encounter. As long as we do not dwell on it and avoid going postal, as long as we can recognize the thoughts and let them go, we will be ok.
Yes, and like you, I am a bit sick and tired of this branch of (supposed) Christendom screaming "persecution" at ever turn. They are like spoiled brats who are throwing tantrums because they are not getting their way all the time. It is so counter to "the mind of Christ". You are absolutely right, they confuse the reason for the reactions against them. It is not because they are "Christian" (they are not); it is because they are the offensive people.
i feel that way at times too.
i don't think we are bad people or christians for our emotions.
hang in there.
Embrace the feelings...breathe...we all get them on occasion. Feb Blahs
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