Friday, April 12, 2013

I so co-dependent my family

I have heard it said that God gives us family so we can learn to deal with people we don't like.  I am believing this is true.  Right about now, I want to take my family and just tell them all to go to hell.

My Dad has been in frail condition for many years.  He has had four heart attacks, two open heart surgeries, and a host of other surgeries/illnesses.  He is also three weeks shy of his 92nd birthday.

Nick and I were planning to visit my family this past week.  We were going to make a quick pass through since we would be near.  Just before we got there, my Dad fell and ended up in the hospital.  I posted a statement in Facebook asking for prayers.  Next thing I know, I am getting yelled at by my older sister about blabbing this to the whole world and I need to stop.  Seems she had not told her son that his grandfather was in the hospital and not doing so well.  Of course it was my fault that he read it first on FB.

Then my Dad was having more problems and I asked for prayers (making sure I blocked my nephew, his wife, and my sister).  The next day (today) my younger sister is yelling at me for making Mom upset because her sisters (my aunts) were calling wondering what was happening.  And again, it was my fault for asking for prayers.  "How dare you only think of yourself.  Can't you see how you are hurting mom?"

Of course, some of you may remember how I was going to "Kill Dad."  No matter what I did, I was going to "Kill Dad!"  Now I guess I am also going to "Kill Mom!"

I hate the double-bind:  I am accused of not doing anything because I live 500 miles away, but when I try to do something, I am accused of being selfish and uncaring.

I know that emotional cut-off is not a good thing, but I am also tired of being the dumping ground for my family's anxiety.  I am afraid for my Dad, but I am treated as if I only care about me.  I don't know if I can even talk to my Mom because of all the "harm" my sisters say I have done.  I just want to tell them to keep their drama to themselves.  I just want to say to my younger sister, "You have never liked me, why don't we just quite the charade?  You can just ignore me and I will quite trying to get you to like me.  It will just be better in the long run."

How to remove oneself from the situation without making the situation worse.

Every time I interact with my family, I get the feeling that they would rather not have me around.  And yet, when I make myself scarce, I am attacked for not caring.  Crazy making at it's finest!

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