Tuesday, October 17, 2006

See of Change

Yes, I know, you are probably thinking, "He spelled 'sea' wrong!" Well, no, I really wanted to use the word "see."

What I mean is that I have been seeing a change in myself. By looking back at my blog postings, I have noticed that they have moved from angst about being gay to more angst about life in general. Now, I would like to be rid of the angst all together, but if I have to have angst about something, I am glad it is not about being gay.

When I started this process, I wanted to get to the point where I was not "Gay Pastor Ottaia." I wanted to move to the point where I was "Pastor Ottaia who just happens to be gay." I think I have moved in that direction. Now granted, I am not even "Pastor Ottaia" at this point, and that may have something to do with my attitude. I am in an area where being gay does not really matter. I wonder if my attitude will charge when I get involved again in the whole church process. I hope not. I know that the ECUSA is less worried about sexuality, but there is still there.


Lemuel said...

oooh. I understood the whole see/sea thing. I am so proud of myself. LOL!

I think it's cool that you are moving in your attitudes - and moving in (at least what I would thing is) a positive direction,

Ur-spo said...

i recall one of my professors saying a change from specific anxiety to a more general anxiety was 'progress'