Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Anatomy of a Melt-Down

I really hate melt-downs. Not the China Syndrome kind of melt-down but an emotional melt-down.

I had a melt-down yesterday. Nick was kind about it in his blog, but it was an all out melt-down. It started with a bit of anxiety and ended with Nick holding me as thoughts of personal disgust ran wild through my head.

What is weird is that I am generally a pretty stable person. I do not just tail-spin at the drop of a hat. But yesterday, I think I hit the "perfect storm." I was tired, I was a bit emotionally depleted (the past weekend was more busy than restful), I had just discussed my whole psychological picture, I had some problems with bills, and my tire blew.

I also think something that "helped" precipitate the melt-down was the presence of Nick and my trust in him. By having him near, it was like it was ok for me to just let all the stress and frustration wash over me. I do have to admit that when the whole "storm" was over, I did feel better. I think knowing Nick was there and wouldn't leave me allowed me the luxury of flushing away the emotions. I feel sorry for Nick having to deal with such emotional storms, but I thank God that Nick was here to help me through it.


Lemuel said...

Yes, I'm glad you have Nick. We all need someone to be there for us.

One of my favorite quotes from Peanuts (I am forgetting which character, but I think Linus) is "A friend is someone who knows all about you and likes you anyway."

I think that describes Nick and you except that "friend" is a much too mild word.

Sending you a HUG from here!

Ur-spo said...

i am sending you warmth thoughts and strength and prayers.
I am glad Nick is near.

Steve F. said...

Well, that was nice...I hit "enter," and a perfectly wonderful comment disappeared into the ether.

::: fine :::

My meltdown was Friday, and it took 2 great AA meetings and three gay movies to get over it. Such is the way when one does not have a great partner to soak up the blast-damage at ground zero...

Warm thoughts from northwest Ohio...