Monday, August 28, 2006

The Feelings Meme

I stole this from Spo-Reflections. I thought it was interesting so I decided to do it instead of doing important things like checking on the job classifieds!

The most joyful I have ever felt; The most joyful I have ever felt was on my ordination day. I was surrounded by my family. I was on the threshold of a new life. I weighed 180 lbs. I had my whole life ahead of me and I was going to go out and bring the love of God to the whole world! It was a harmonic convergence of great things!

The most angry I've ever felt; The most angry I have ever been was with my brother. I was trying to get my life together after leaving my first congregation and was trying to decide do I go back into the church or do I pursue a career in psychology. My brother kept telling me that the store across town is hiring janitorial staff. I DIDN'T WANT TO WORK AS A JANITOR! I didn't have ten years of college under my belt to aspire to get a job as janitor. (I do not look down upon those who work in the maintenance and janitorial areas! I was really messed up and having my brother push me was just too much.)

The most at peace I've ever felt;
This may sound weird, but I think one of the most peaceful times I have had is after I sent out my resignation letter to the congregation. There was such a build-up to that moment that actually getting the letter out was strangely peaceful.

The most shocked I have ever felt; I was in Baton Rouge for a wedding and I got a call telling me that my father has had two heart attacks. I had to fly back home not knowing if he was alive or dead.

The most embarrassed I have ever felt; I was jacking-off in the basement when my sister and her friend came down the steps! It would have been bad enough if it were only my sister, but she had her friend with her!!

The most sad I have ever felt; I think this would have to be when I was finished with my internship. I had such a great time, I didn't want to leave. I also now know that I had a crush on my supervisor. I couldn't admit that to myself then, but now I see that my heart was breaking.

The most frightened I have ever felt; Telling my parents I was gay. It turned out way different than I expected, and for that I am glad. But before, I didn't know what to expect and I was totally frightened.


Ur-spo said...

thank you for doing this; I learned some things about you. I am honored to know you this way.

Lemuel said...

Thank you for sharing. I really appreciated your openness. I am find the responses to this meme fascinating and comforting.

Thank you for stopping by and reading my responses to ur-spo's meme as well. If you read my "anger" carefully and between the lines, you may have understood that we have something in common than first appears.

Doug Taron said...

Cool responses to the meme. I found your blog through Ur-Spo (an old friend)and, being the Jonny Quest fan that I am, checked your blog out. I've had a crush on Benton since I was about 9.

BentonQuest said...

I would have to say that I had a crush on him too. I don't think I really knew it at the time, but I wanted to have a dad like him.

Doug Taron said...

I didn't just want a dad like Benton, I wanted to have Jonny's entire life. I was completely into the travel to exotic locales, the cool sciencey gadgets, the adventure. I didn't know it at the time, but I was also reacting to the very male environment of the cartoon. None of the regular characters were women- it was just a bunch of guys having adventures together. Race and Benton were both totally hot. It's interesting to reflect now on the aspects of my current life that do and do not resemble the show.