I had a pic on this post that really wasn't "Safe For Work" and I like to keep this work safe, so here is a link to the picture. You can click here if you feel so inclined.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Happy Halloween!
I had a pic on this post that really wasn't "Safe For Work" and I like to keep this work safe, so here is a link to the picture. You can click here if you feel so inclined.
Anatomy of a Melt-Down
I really hate melt-downs. Not the China Syndrome kind of melt-down but an emotional melt-down.
I had a melt-down yesterday. Nick was kind about it in his blog, but it was an all out melt-down. It started with a bit of anxiety and ended with Nick holding me as thoughts of personal disgust ran wild through my head.
What is weird is that I am generally a pretty stable person. I do not just tail-spin at the drop of a hat. But yesterday, I think I hit the "perfect storm." I was tired, I was a bit emotionally depleted (the past weekend was more busy than restful), I had just discussed my whole psychological picture, I had some problems with bills, and my tire blew.
I also think something that "helped" precipitate the melt-down was the presence of Nick and my trust in him. By having him near, it was like it was ok for me to just let all the stress and frustration wash over me. I do have to admit that when the whole "storm" was over, I did feel better. I think knowing Nick was there and wouldn't leave me allowed me the luxury of flushing away the emotions. I feel sorry for Nick having to deal with such emotional storms, but I thank God that Nick was here to help me through it.
I had a melt-down yesterday. Nick was kind about it in his blog, but it was an all out melt-down. It started with a bit of anxiety and ended with Nick holding me as thoughts of personal disgust ran wild through my head.
What is weird is that I am generally a pretty stable person. I do not just tail-spin at the drop of a hat. But yesterday, I think I hit the "perfect storm." I was tired, I was a bit emotionally depleted (the past weekend was more busy than restful), I had just discussed my whole psychological picture, I had some problems with bills, and my tire blew.
I also think something that "helped" precipitate the melt-down was the presence of Nick and my trust in him. By having him near, it was like it was ok for me to just let all the stress and frustration wash over me. I do have to admit that when the whole "storm" was over, I did feel better. I think knowing Nick was there and wouldn't leave me allowed me the luxury of flushing away the emotions. I feel sorry for Nick having to deal with such emotional storms, but I thank God that Nick was here to help me through it.
Monday, October 30, 2006
They Just Don't Exist
Ok, people... I have found Christmas coffee mugs, Halloween mugs, Valentine's Day mugs, Easter mugs, 4th of July mugs, and St. Patrick's Day mugs. But, I have never found a Thanksgiving (U.S. Pilgrims and Turkeys) Day mug. Anyone out there ever find one?
OUCH!
I guess it was good that we weren't cruising down the interstate when this happened. We were on the back roads out of the Detroit area. I really am not a fan of major highways. Granted, they are usually faster, but they just are not very inter sting. The good thing is that the weather was wonderful (about 70 degrees F) and I have roadside assistance. I felt kind of funny calling to have someone change the tire, I could have done it myself, but that is why I bought the roadside assistance, wasn't it? Also, I didn't know how to get the spare off the underside and how to work the jack. I do now! And also, the butt on the guy from the shop wasn't too bad! The face was, aigh... But when he bent over it was nice!!
Nick and I were in Detroit because I had to go to the debriefing of my psych assessment. (Talk about Freudian slips, I originally typed "psycho assessment"!) That is another hoop I had to jump through and now that is finished. I just have to track down two people to do the background assessment and then the process is finished on my end. (I hope!)
I am getting tired of this. I had a fairly major melt-down this afternoon. I thank God Nick was here to help me. Sometimes I just get tired of the struggle. I get tired of being strong. I get tired of having life always be a trial. It was nice to have someone there to just hug me and make no demands. That was something I had come conclusion I would never have.
As Nick posted, I will have Amber this week. This is not really a very good picture of her, she is much cuter.
Right now, Claudia,
the more skittish of my two cats is lying on one side of me, and Amber is on the other. In the time I have been posting, Madeline changed spots with Claudia. Maybe there is hope they will get along yet!
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Haunted House
Nick and I were out driving around in the country when we came upon this house. Looks spooky, huh?
Friday, October 27, 2006
De Nile
I was a pretty good swimmer in my day. It actually took me a while to get to be good because I was totally afraid of drowning. Once I got past the fear, I could start to actually swim. However, I still have that small fear of drowning.
Now, I don't care how well you can swim, eventually the swim gets to be too much and the body of water is too large. That is the point that I am approaching.
I woke up again dreading the thought of the furnace kicking on. I am making good money, but I bought the house with the concept that I would be making better money. I sound like a broken record, but the money thing bothers me. I have never really had to worry about money and I really don't know how to deal with this. I don't know...
Now, I don't care how well you can swim, eventually the swim gets to be too much and the body of water is too large. That is the point that I am approaching.
I woke up again dreading the thought of the furnace kicking on. I am making good money, but I bought the house with the concept that I would be making better money. I sound like a broken record, but the money thing bothers me. I have never really had to worry about money and I really don't know how to deal with this. I don't know...
Thursday, October 26, 2006
We Don't Do Anything
Morgan over at It's a Blog Eat Blog World got me thinking about Veggie tales. He has the Song of the Cebu over there so I decided to post "The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything." Thanks for the memories Morgan!
A Learning Moment
A few moments before this picture was taken, this was a lamp shade. This is the second lamp shade I have made and the first big lampshade. So I am still learning what to do and what not to do. NOT TO DO: Do not place the shade on the table upside-down without support, even though the outside is soldered. Oh well, a few(?) more hours of work.
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Shortage of Clergy?
I sometimes wonder about the way organized religions treat their clergy. If this were just a situation with me, I would assume that it is just my bad luck, but I have heard of others having similar problems.
My case is frustrating. I left a job as a psychologist for the state of Illinois to go to seminary.
After graduation, I got called to a little church “up north.” When I say little, I mean maybe 40 people on Sunday. And quite often, being in my mid-30’s, I would be the youngest person in the sanctuary.
I was also dealing with a congregation that had become known as “Clergy Killers.” Of the four previous pastors, three left the ministry after being at this congregation. None of them lasted longer than four years. And one left without even leaving a forwarding address.
Well, surprise of surprise! I had problems with this congregation. I was asked why I didn’t “treat” the congregation because I had the psychology background. I said there is a difference between being a pastor and being a therapist. But the synod kept its distance from me and any problems that I would direct their way, seemed to get “lost.”
Finally, I got to the point where I was suicidal and was looking for ways to change my name and just leave. When I finally told the congregation that I would be leaving, only then did the synod pay any attention. And the attention I got was being told that I was just not trying hard enough. And that I was an example of why it is so hard to place first-call people.
It was decided I would leave the congregation on Oct. 28, (2 years, 2 months, and 22 days after arriving). I left with the desire to drive into bridge abutments. I left without any job. I left without any insurance. I left with a prescription for the maximum dosage of Zoloft. And I left being told that the synod could not do anything about helping me to pay for the prescription because they were not a “charity organization.”
Almost a year later, I received another call. This was the call I have just left. For the most part, it was great. (There is never a perfect call.) The call was good enough to allow me to deal with the skeletons in my closet and deal with my sexuality.
That sexuality thing created a whole new problem in and of itself. Now the synod was backing away, not because I was leaving but because I was a “messy” problem. I was told that “we would all be embarrassed about [my] leaving in a few years. But as for now, there is nothing we can do.” Nothing we can do? If it is a law that will be embarrassing, LET’S FIGHT IT! Let’s be the people who said, “We think this is wrong and we are going to do something about it.”
So now, I am working temp, waiting for a call from the ECUSA. Now, denominations are always complaining how they are in need of clergy, but here one sits, answering phones for a helpdesk.
A similar situation is occurring with Nick. He is trying to find a pulpit within his denomination but seems to find indifference and apathy. He will contact people and never seems to hear back from them. Nick has over 20 years of experience in the congregation but they cannot find a pulpit for him. I don’t get it.
We hear the cry that there is not enough clergy. But here sit clergy, willing to work, with no pulpits in sight. I am confused as to what is happening.
My case is frustrating. I left a job as a psychologist for the state of Illinois to go to seminary.
After graduation, I got called to a little church “up north.” When I say little, I mean maybe 40 people on Sunday. And quite often, being in my mid-30’s, I would be the youngest person in the sanctuary.
I was also dealing with a congregation that had become known as “Clergy Killers.” Of the four previous pastors, three left the ministry after being at this congregation. None of them lasted longer than four years. And one left without even leaving a forwarding address.
Well, surprise of surprise! I had problems with this congregation. I was asked why I didn’t “treat” the congregation because I had the psychology background. I said there is a difference between being a pastor and being a therapist. But the synod kept its distance from me and any problems that I would direct their way, seemed to get “lost.”
Finally, I got to the point where I was suicidal and was looking for ways to change my name and just leave. When I finally told the congregation that I would be leaving, only then did the synod pay any attention. And the attention I got was being told that I was just not trying hard enough. And that I was an example of why it is so hard to place first-call people.
It was decided I would leave the congregation on Oct. 28, (2 years, 2 months, and 22 days after arriving). I left with the desire to drive into bridge abutments. I left without any job. I left without any insurance. I left with a prescription for the maximum dosage of Zoloft. And I left being told that the synod could not do anything about helping me to pay for the prescription because they were not a “charity organization.”
Almost a year later, I received another call. This was the call I have just left. For the most part, it was great. (There is never a perfect call.) The call was good enough to allow me to deal with the skeletons in my closet and deal with my sexuality.
That sexuality thing created a whole new problem in and of itself. Now the synod was backing away, not because I was leaving but because I was a “messy” problem. I was told that “we would all be embarrassed about [my] leaving in a few years. But as for now, there is nothing we can do.” Nothing we can do? If it is a law that will be embarrassing, LET’S FIGHT IT! Let’s be the people who said, “We think this is wrong and we are going to do something about it.”
So now, I am working temp, waiting for a call from the ECUSA. Now, denominations are always complaining how they are in need of clergy, but here one sits, answering phones for a helpdesk.
A similar situation is occurring with Nick. He is trying to find a pulpit within his denomination but seems to find indifference and apathy. He will contact people and never seems to hear back from them. Nick has over 20 years of experience in the congregation but they cannot find a pulpit for him. I don’t get it.
We hear the cry that there is not enough clergy. But here sit clergy, willing to work, with no pulpits in sight. I am confused as to what is happening.
Cheese with that Whine?
Yep,one of those whiney posts.
I woke up thinking about bills. The furnace kicked on and I woke up. I though, "I have to pay for the heat somehow." This is not where I though I would be at this point in my life.
The traveling back and forth between Nick's place and my place is getting old too. It is hard to get things done around the house when you are never here. I know things will get better, I am just getting tired of waiting.
I will be going to get the psych eval debriefed. That is good, maybe we can get the whole Episcopal thing moving!
Enough for now, have to get ready for work. Have a great day all.
I woke up thinking about bills. The furnace kicked on and I woke up. I though, "I have to pay for the heat somehow." This is not where I though I would be at this point in my life.
The traveling back and forth between Nick's place and my place is getting old too. It is hard to get things done around the house when you are never here. I know things will get better, I am just getting tired of waiting.
I will be going to get the psych eval debriefed. That is good, maybe we can get the whole Episcopal thing moving!
Enough for now, have to get ready for work. Have a great day all.
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Huh?
Now let's think about this: If it is just nails, there is nothing more. If there is something more, then it is not just nails.
Weekend
Nick and I had a great weekend. He does a much better job of describing things than I so you can check out the Sweetest Day Surprise. I guess great minds think alike. Also, on Nick's blog, you can see the picture of me taking the picture of the scarecrows. It is always a good time with Nick. The driving is just getting a little tiring.
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Not Again!
6:24, 6:25, 6:26...Thank you for calling...
Yep, it happened again! I was just about to leave on Friday night, FRIDAY NIGHT!, when someone called. And again, it wasn't something easy like just rebook; NO! It was someone's laptop going on the fritz. And Laptops we have to send out to the manufacturer; no simple fix here.
So I am stuck in the call center, 6:45 pm on a FRIDAY NIGHT! and I have no idea what I am supposed to be doing and no one to ask and I WANT TO GO TO NICK'S! I don't want to be there! So I get the guy taken care of (I know, bad sentence structure)and head out.
On the way there I stop to pick up something for Nick for Sweetest Day (But that is another post!).
Yep, it happened again! I was just about to leave on Friday night, FRIDAY NIGHT!, when someone called. And again, it wasn't something easy like just rebook; NO! It was someone's laptop going on the fritz. And Laptops we have to send out to the manufacturer; no simple fix here.
So I am stuck in the call center, 6:45 pm on a FRIDAY NIGHT! and I have no idea what I am supposed to be doing and no one to ask and I WANT TO GO TO NICK'S! I don't want to be there! So I get the guy taken care of (I know, bad sentence structure)and head out.
On the way there I stop to pick up something for Nick for Sweetest Day (But that is another post!).
Friday, October 20, 2006
Thursday, October 19, 2006
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