Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Counting Down

All kinds of emotions happening right now.  I am happy to be over with this job.  I am frustrated that the time isn't going faster.  I am scared about the future. 

At work, my managers are pretty much avoiding me.  The one who yelled at me because I wasn't doing her job has yet to even acknowledge that she did anything wrong.  Oh well.  The healer in me wants to try to help the system heal, the human in me just can't do it.  I have to realize that!

I still have a crappy work schedule this week.  I work 1-7:30 today, 8:30-5 tomorrow and Friday, and then 5:30 am - 10 am on Saturday.  I am not even going to talk about next week.  Next week they have thrown in the dreaded off at 7:30 pm and in at 5:30 am.  Yes, I love this job.

My biggest problem is that I just keep second guessing myself.  "Am I being a baby?"  "Could I stick this out?"  "Am I a quitter?"  I know this is the best thing to do, but the old tapes keep playing.  And having been raised Roman Catholic, those tapes have gotten transferred to MP3 and are on continuous loop!


Urspo said...

when you start hearing such inside comments, conjure up an image of this complex, acknowledge it and what it says - and then fantasize about placing a cream pie in its puss.

Lemuel said...

Take that MP3 out of the player and put in Gloria Gaynor singing "I Will Survive!" :)
Believe it or not, I am a bit serious in my suggestion. I heard that song shortly after I decided to leave an "abusive employment" situation in 1988. It became my theme and helped me look to the future and focus on leaving behind what I could not change and on the future that lay before me.