"How many more gay people does God have to create before we ask ourselves whether or not God actually wants them around?" Rep. Steve Simon of Minnesota asked.
I remember as a kid having someone tell me that if you die in your dream that you die in reality. Well, I am here to tell you that it just ain't so. I have had it happen a couple of times.
However, I had a few that were odd in that I actually was dead in the dream. Probably the most terrifying dream was where I was experiencing nothing: no sound, no light, no sensation at all. And then the thought dawned on me, "I am dead and this is all that will be FOREVER."
But the other night I had a less terrifying dream, but I still was dead. I was up and walking around. My coffin was there, and I was stepping on it and dragging it around. At first I didn't realize that I was dead, but then I went to take a shower and realized I had been embalmed. One of the last things I remember about the dream was realizing I had to pee and not wanting to spend eternity with a full bladder.
I wonder if dreaming of death may be something like the Death card in tarot. Does it predict change instead of actual death? I know that we have been through a lot of changes lately. Maybe Dr. Spo has a comment? I know that the both of the dreams weirded me out when they happened, and the NOTHING dream weirded me out for a long time! (Still does.) But the latest dream kind of makes me chuckle.
Don't know. Just know that dreams or not, we have changes in our future; some things begin, and some things die.
That is a good thing! It has been really busy here so posts have not been happening too regularly. I have had a lot of deep thoughts (Well, at least deep for me!) but have not had the time or energy to post them. I hope to remediate that, maybe it will help me sleep at night.
The general thing that has been happening has been the transition to a new church and moving. I still feel a little detached as I am still 70 miles from the church. But we are moving on Saturday, so that should help. Moving on the day before Easter with two pastors is probably as close to suicide I hope to come, but all too often the world gives us what it will, not what we will.
The car situation is still on hold. I have not gotten the release of lein on the truck so I cannot sell it. In the meantime, the guy who was planning on buying it has lowered his offer. So I got financing assuming that I was going to have a $1500 down payment. Now the guy says he will only give me $1000. So now I have to search to find $500 during this time of high finances.
DO NOT USE BUDGET TRUCK RENTAL! I was going to rent a truck from them. I could not get the web site to work. I was ignored in the store. I called to complain...
This is a great story! I called to voice my upset at their location in Plymouth, MI. The person I was talking to on the phone seemed much more in finding a way to get me to still rent a truck instead of listening to my concerns. I asked if anything was going to be done about PILGRIM FIRESTONE in Plymouth, MI (yes, they pissed me off!) or if the whole thing was going to get glossed over. The guy said, "Oh, please hold." So I heard some clicks and then I heard a recording saying the conversation would be recorded. Then a woman came on the line. When I said that I had a problem with a Budget Truck, she started going on about saving me $40. It sounded like she was reading a script. I asked if she was going to do anything about PILGRIM FIRESTONE in Plymouth, MI, and she said she could get me a 6 month subscription. "To what?" She told me "Traveler's Advantage! You are not talking to Budget Truck rental." THE GUY AT BUDGET TRANSFERRED ME TO A TOTALLY DIFFERENT COMPANY!
AArrrggg!!!
I am getting a truck from U-Haul.
Holy Week is here, and my secretary is new to the whole church secretary thing. We are doing a lot of e-mail and facebook communicating.
Probably more later. Maybe even some of the deep thoughts!
We reflect on our death so we can truly live. We look at those things that hold us trapped so that we may find freedom. We cry out “Hosanna!” at the beginning of a worship service just so we can cry “Crucify Him!” at the end. Contradictions, we are surrounded by contradictions. But it is just these contradictions that help us to grow. It is these contradictions that help us to become mature Christians. It is just these contradictions that help us to see the places in our lives where we are not living; it helps us to see those places in our lives where we are just merely existing.
Today we are confronted with one of the most jarring of the contradictions: We are faced with the people doing a complete “about face” to Jesus. When our service started, we experienced the crowds shouting “Hosanna.” But this is at the beginning; this is when things are going well. However, when the times started getting difficult, the people stopped shouting “Hosanna” and quickly change their tune. The people went from shouts of “Hosanna” to screams of “Crucify Him!” I would suggest that this is possibly one of the most jarring changes in the whole lectionary.
Now, of course, we know that if we were around in Biblical times, the words of “Hosanna” would never leave our lips. We would continue to proclaim Jesus as Lord no matter what was being said by those others. We know that we would never add our voices to the chorus of “Crucify Him!” And we can say that because we have 2000 years of perspective and interpretation behind us.
But have we really learned much in those 2000 years? In what ways do we as people, as a faith community, and as individuals cry out the words “Crucify Him!” when we should be singing out “Hosanna?”
We cry out “Crucify Him!” whenever we choose the way of our comfort, pleasure, or security over the vision of Christ for the world. We cry out “Crucify Him!” whenever we choose to let others take the blame for our failures, shortcomings and mistakes. We cry out “Crucify Him!” when we choose to exploit the shortcomings of others for our own benefit. We cry out “Crucify Him!” when we fail to honor and celebrate the Christ that is in every individual we encounter.
Our culture cries out “Crucify Him!” when it can justify giving multimillion dollar bonuses to employees while taking trillions of dollars from taxpayers who are having difficulty just paying their mortgage. (Remember when “trillions” was a nonsense word?) It cries “Crucify Him!” when those in the positions of power and majority actively work to take rights away from those who are weaker and in the minority. Our culture cries “Crucify Him!” when it sees other peoples and cultures as just a means to boost its own standing in the world.
It is harder to see how we as a faith community may be crying “Crucify Him!” This would seem totally at odds with what we would think. We would think that, as people of faith, we should always have “Hosanna” on our lips. But to think this would be naive. Church history is full of stories of one group attacking another group because “They don’t follow the true faith.” Even various groups who claim to be Christian have been known to attack each other; just look at the Protestants and the Catholics in Northern Ireland. Look at The Episcopal Church and the Southern Cone. And just the other day, I had a Pentecostal person ask me if Episcopalians were even Christians.
And, of course, we personally cry “Crucify Him!” When we fail to recognize the dignity of those around us, we crucify the Jesus that is in that person. When we belittle or gossip, we crucify the Jesus that is found in each person. When we take our family and friends for granted, we call for Jesus to be placed on the cross just as the crowds did so many years ago.
Man, this can seem really depressing! But I believe that it is only in seeing how we have fallen short of the ideal that we can fully comprehend the immense gift we have been given in the life, death, and resurrection of Christ! If I have so many houses that I cannot remember the number, the gift of another house will hardly register. But if I am living on the streets, the gift of a bed for the night can be miraculous! If we believe we can do no wrong, then the gift of forgiveness is just and empty box. But if we realize that we are capable of sin in so many different ways, then the gift of Christ on the cross takes on its full significance.
That is the miraculous thing about the Passion and the Cross: Jesus remembers our “Hosannas” and forgives our cries to “Crucify Him!” Jesus lifts up our strengths and places our weaknesses behind us. We are loved as a parent loves a child, and are forgiven and guided into the way of righteousness.
I am sure the calls of “Crucify Him!” were painful to Jesus. I have to wonder why Jesus didn’t just give the whole thing up and “poof” back up to heaven. If I were Jesus, I would want to say, “People, I am doing this for you! Can’t you have a little gratitude?” But Jesus didn’t. Even while the people were calling for his crucifixion, Jesus was willingly going to his very painful death for just those people. For just those people, and just for us!
And even though we, as a people, as a congregation, and individually continue to call for Christ to be crucified, Christ still gives us the gift of forgiveness and asks us to share that gift with those around us.
This is the miracle, the gift and the challenge. The miracle is that the one who was truly God and truly human would suffer on behalf of those who so very often and so easily turn their back on him. The gift is the full and total forgiveness that the cross and resurrection brings to us. This forgiveness is a gift that allows us to move boldly beyond our shortcomings and to move boldly into the world. And the challenge is to take this gift of forgiveness and extend it to all those we encounter. To realize that as Christ looks beyond our sin, we, too, should look beyond the sins of those around us. That as Christ give us total forgiveness, we are called to extend that forgiveness to others.
Knowing that we have the forgiveness of Christ should not become an excuse to wallow in our shortfalls. Knowledge of our forgiveness should become our challenge! Can we go out and love as Christ loved? And even if we can’t, we know that we will be welcome back to hear the message, to be fed at the table, and to be sent out again.
We can bear to have a time like Lent because we know that the stumbling blocks we find in our lives are already forgiven by our God. God knows our shortcomings and loves us and forgives us anyway! Even when we may be saying “Crucify Him!” with our lives, God hears the “Hosanna” that we sing in our heart.
Our Lenten journey is nearing its end. But we are not at Easter yet. We still have Good Friday and the grave. But we can courageously walk this path because we know that our Savior goes before us to lead the way. And we know that even if we fear to follow, our Savior is there to forgive us, to renew us, and to encourage us.
Contradictions: Life from Death. Forgiveness from Humility. Strength from Weakness. Our Lenten journey continues. But through it all, we know we have a Savior who will not leave us stranded on the cross.
Why am I saying anything about the Health Care Bill? Am I a glutton for punishment? What can I add to the conversation that has not been screamed from television sets and headlines? Possibly nothing.
But...
I guess being the psych person that I am, I am going to wade into the mess anyway. I am not going to say anything about the bill, itself; I don't know enough. But what I will talk about is the behavior I am seeing surrounding the bill.
I am so frustrated with our system of governance right now that I really want to move to a different country. We all realize that our health care system needs help but the career politicians are so busy worrying about what Fox News is going to say that they can't do anything. The Republicans look silly because they could not do anything that would resemble compromise without having Glen Beck shrilly screaming about how they have turned traitor to the American people.
Then we hear the Republicans saying that they were not part of the process. THEY HAD EIGHT YEARS TO DO SOMETHING AND THEY DIDN'T! And whenever anything was proposed, the assumed answer was "No." It doesn't matter if it was a good answer or even one that the Republicans had suggested in the past, it was summarily rejected. That is so childish!
I am not saying that the Democrats are sinless in this process either. Both sides have their problems. But from my point of view, it just seemed like the Republicans were acting like spoiled children (or fundamentalists!) who didn't get their way so now they were going to do EVERYTHING in their power to halt the system. Doesn't matter that they were elected to help the people. They appear to believe that they were elected to advance their own careers.
And what is up with Newt Gingrich? Civil Rights destroyed the Democrats? Do we really want to go back to a time before civil rights? Possibly if we are an old white guy. (With a trophy wife, long live sanctity of marriage!) And he is using that argument to say that the Health Care Bill is bad? I don't get it.
Our law makers have gotten so out of touch with what is reality in peoples' daily lives. Previously, I could afford insurance, but then I could not afford the co-pays. If I really needed something, it was off to the ER, and that is sooooo cost effective to the country. My costs were eventually paid by the insurance companies anyway. Hospitals just passed it on to the people with insurance. And I guess for some people, that was ok. But instead of ignoring the problem, isn't it better to call it want it is and FIX IT?
This rant was brought to you today by the American Government System!
I ran across something while do research for this sermon that really got me thinking. The question the author of the article asked was so off the wall that it just grabbed my attention and made me chuckle. And what was this question? Well, are you ready for it? It was: “What did Jesus smell like?” Or maybe the better question should be: “What DOES Jesus smell like?”
You know, smell is one of the most powerful senses we have for bringing back memories. When I walk out onto our parking lot, I am reminded of hot summer days spent at various amusement parks. When I walk past a freshly mown lawn, it reminds me of summer afternoons with nothing to do except mow that huge hill in the back yard. Freshly mown lawns remind me of a simpler time. And possibly a more strange one is the smell of sulfur of a match being lit. That smell will always remind me of my grandma, not in a bad way, but she always smoked Lucky Strikes and I will always remember the smell of her lighting a match. I grew up Roman Catholic so the smell of bees’ wax candles is just the way a church should smell. And incense will always remind me of funerals. I think you could blindfold me and take me to a Catholic church and I would be able to tell you where I was. Possibly not the name of the church, but that it was a Catholic church. Smells shape our lives. Some of our strongest memories are attached to smells, so I guess asking what Jesus smells like is not so strange after all.
In the gospel reading for today, John makes a point of telling us that the house was filled with the smell of the perfume. Why would the author of the gospel add this little account? It could be that he was just adding color to the account, but there is probably more to it than that. One thing that we shouldn’t for get about this story is the people who are sitting at the table. Of course we have Mary and Martha, but we also have Lazarus, the same Lazarus, who, just a short time before, was in a tomb. This would also be the same Lazarus of whom, Martha, his sister, said there would be a stench if they rolled the stone away from the tomb. So, upon hearing about this episode, we should already primed to think of death as something that is, if not bad, then at least something that stinks.
But when Mary puts the perfume on Jesus’ feet, we are told that its fragrance filled the whole house. I don’t know about you, but when I hear the world “fragrance” I think of something that smells good. So the author of John is making sure we have this “image,” for lack of a better word, of a wonderful fragrance filling the house. However, the next thing that Jesus says is so very jarring; Jesus says that Mary is preparing him of death. (I would love to have the sound effect of a car skidding to a stop right here!) A wonderful fragrance in preparation for death? Didn’t we just learn a few chapters ago that death was something that was full of stench? If death and the tomb stinks, then why would Jesus talk about his death while being surrounded by the fragrance of perfume?
Well, Jesus is giving us a new thought, a new feeling, a new smell for death. Jesus is changing our thoughts about what death is. We have already been primed to view death in a new way with Lazarus being at the table. Just having him sitting at the meal should clue us in that things are changing. The man, who was dead, in the tomb, stinking of death, was sitting at the table, dining with those around him. The view of death as a final end was being broken. Now, this wasn’t the final breaking of death, because Jesus had not yet risen to never die again, but it was foretaste of what was to come. In Lazarus sitting there, the finality of death had to be questioned. And it is in this questioning of death that we find the sweetness, the fragrance of the perfume. What once was thought of as an eternal end has changed. The stench of a final end has been changed to an odor of sweetness. The chains that were to be our final end had begun to break.
As we move through Lent, we are coming to the time when we start looking forward to the great celebration of Easter. We start smelling the perfume of Easter lilies, honey-glazed ham, and chocolate rabbits. We start thinking of Christ and his resurrection. We start to live our lives in the joy of our sure and certain forgiveness. And this is not a bad thing to do. I am sure Jesus would want us to revel in the gift of forgiveness and life we have been given. But when it comes to the season of Lent, we are not quite yet to the Resurrection. We have a bit of a ways to go yet. We still have Good Friday to go through. We have the sweet fragrance of the resurrection, but just like Mary, we need to be preparing for Christ’s death. We need to realize that the gifts that we receive were bought at a price. Just because the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume does not mean that Jesus does not have to die. Christ still goes through death and is placed in the tomb. But he does not stay in the tomb; he does not rot in the tomb. He is raised from the dead and it is this, Christ’s resurrection, that the sweet fragrance of the perfume reminds us. It is this joy after the sadness of his death, the fragrance of perfume after the stench of the tomb, the gift of forgiveness after the strictness of the law, which should impress itself on our memories.
Mary’s extravagant gift of perfume left a lasting memory on those in the house. Some like Judas would say that she went too far. But Jesus says that it is a good thing that she does. When we encounter the world, what impression do we make? Does our witness of Jesus to the world leave a fragrance of life and forgiveness to those we encounter? Do we show to the world the extravagant love that we have received, even if some may say we have gone too far? Or does our witness of Jesus just leave people with the stench of death and the tomb? Do we believe more in the ways of the world, the ways that leave only the stench of the tomb, or do we place our faith, our trust, our very lives, in the care of our savior, Christ?
I would hope that the fragrance of Mary’s perfume fills our lives. That the fragrance would not only remind us of the death that Christ endured, but his glorious resurrection that brings us eternal life. I would pray that we remember the gift that is given to all of us. I pray that the fragrance of Christ’s love can fill our nostrils and fill our lives. I pray that the fragrance will be there to remind us of the promise that has already been fulfilled in the life, death, and resurrection of Christ. I pray that that fragrance is so imprinted upon our lives that just one whiff of it transports us into Christ’s presence in the same way bees wax reminds me of churches or the sulfur of a match bring up the presence of my grandma.
You know, I just realized that I haven’t answered the question that I asked at the beginning of the sermon! Well, I asked some friends what would Jesus smell like, and I think a good friend hit it right on the head: She said that Jesus smells “like home.”
Well, this is the new (or at least new-to-me) vehicle! I like it! Because of financial situations, I will not be able to take possession of it for about a week or so, but that is ok. It is mine!
Now I have a difficulty, I need a name for it!
This is where you come in! NAME THE CAR! Come up with a name and let me know. The winner will receive your own special Indulgences! Offered up by yours truly! In addition, if you are ever around, you will receive a free ride to the bar of your choice and one free round!
Well, last Sunday was the first Sunday at my new congregation. (Boy, do I love the "New Church" smell!) It was very nice: a wonderful celebration. Unfortunately, Nick and I were not able to stay long because of all the driving that we had to do.
We had planned to have me go to my church, do the whole potluck thing, and then head home. Nick was going to stay home and then head up to his congregation for a board meeting and worship. We didn't think this was the best, we wanted my congregation to meet Nick, but considering the driving times from home to my church to Nick's church and back home (almost 300 miles round trip) we figured this was most sane choice. However, when the truck died on Thursday night, we realized Sunday was going to be the "Tour of Michigan."
My congregation was wonderful. They were very gracious to Nick and to me. I don't think the gay thing is really going to be a problem as I have found that the former priest was a lesbian. She was an open secret there. Well, with me, there will be no secret! I have trouble being in the closet.
It is going to cost around $3000 to fix the truck. The resale value of the truck is about $3500. And I don't have any credit cards to max out. When I look into my crystal ball, I see a "new to me" vehicle in my future. The problem is that we were counting on the truck as a major part of the move.
Speaking of the move, we still need to find a place to live. The rental market in the Detroit suburbs is really hot. Finding a rental is almost a game of chance. And trying to find a place that will have enough room for stained glass is difficult. I may need to put the glass thing on hold for a while. I am not a fan of that, but reality is reality: It is hard to do glass if you do not have a place to live!
To add to the whole thing, Nick has been working more and more overtime. He is in a difficult situation: He works temp but the want him to put in 10 hour days. Of course, if he says, "No" they just say, "Bye." They want total commitment from the temps but the company does not want to give any commitment in return. It really sucks.
We won't even discuss payments to the IRS!
So, we need to move. We need to move soon! We need to get the money to put down a deposit. I will finally get a check from the church. (I hope!) We need to get a vehicle. We need to start packing here. We need more time! And I need to pay attention to my own preaching about trusting in God. (But it is HARD!)
Sorry for the pity party.
UPDATE: I just spoke with my financial adviser and we have been able to pay off the last two payments of the truck. So at least I am not paying on something that is non-functional. Not a whole lot of good news, but good news all the same.
If anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation: everything old has passed away; see, everything has become new!
Wow! Did you hear that? In Christ there is a new creation! What a great promise to hear on this day! We have this great promise in scripture. With all the changes that are occurring, it can become easy to feel lost and uprooted. With all the changes that that are going on around us, it can be easy to become discouraged. But with the words from our Epistle reading for today, we can take comfort in knowing that what we currently see is not all there is. From the words of our epistle reading, we can be sure that in Christ, there is so much more: In Christ there is a new creation!
Now all this promise of a new creation sounds pretty wonderful, doesn’t it? But we really need to ask ourselves a question: “What does it mean to be a new creation?” In being a new creation, does that mean that what has happened before was in some form “bad?” Does it mean that what had occurred in the past was terrible and that now our life is going to be sunshine and roses? Does it mean that as long as we remain in Christ, that nothing terrible will happen? Or conversely, does it mean if we run into problems in life then we have been, in some form, unfaithful?
Well, the answer to all of those questions would be “no.” Being a new creation does not negate what had come before. Being a new creation does not mean that life is going to suddenly become all kinds of wonderful. Being a new creation does not mean that bad things will no longer happen. What it does mean, though, is that we are never apart from God’s gracious and abundant love.
The gospel reading for today is one that many of us are probably very familiar with. And at the risk of doing a major disservice to the reading, I want to boil it down to one point: The whole conflict in the story of the Prodigal Son is caused because the brothers have forgotten that the love of the Father is abundant beyond comparison. The younger brother wants his share of the inheritance because it might otherwise be gone; and the second brother is upset because he is afraid that the first brother is coming back to get even more of the inheritance. But the Father knows that they are both silly because the Father’s generosity is more than sufficient for both of the brothers.
When we seem to get caught in life is when we forget that there is an abundance of God’s love for all people. We believe that if God’s love is showered on some, then that leaves less for everyone else. The older brother thought that there would be less inheritance for him because the younger had already taken a big chunk and seemed to be back for more. But the Father was there to reassure him that not only was there enough for the younger brother, there was always plenty for the older brother too!
When we look at becoming a new creation, we need to look at it through the eyes of the generous, loving Father -- a Father that wants the best for his children. When we look at becoming a new creation, we need to look at this as something that has been in process since the beginning of time! When we look at becoming a new creation, we need to look at this as the greatest gift we could ever be offered! And in Christ we ARE a new creation!
Day by day we are being formed into a great work of art, an invaluable, precious gift! With each new sunrise, God’s promise of abundant life is once again renewed for each of us! With each new day, not only are we being created, those around us are also being created anew! And as a congregation, a community with Christ as our center, we continue to be formed for the work of God in the world.
Paul tells us in the epistle reading that we are to regard no one from a human point of view. We are not to regard the outer shell as all that there is. When we look out into the world, we are to look upon those who surround us, and upon ourselves too, with the eyes of God, the eyes that see everyone as wonderful works of art. We are to see all of humanity with the grace and compassion of God, the grace and compassion of the one that would send his own Son into the world to bring the world forgiveness. We are to look upon each other with the same grace and forgiveness, as we would wish for ourselves.
And when we do fall short of the mark, which we will do, we need to remember that we can always return home. Even though we may feel that we do not deserve to come back, we need to remember that the Father will have been waiting for us and will be there to greet us.
As we begin this time together, I pray that we can keep these points in mind. I pray that we can always remember that in Christ we are a new creation. Both as a congregation and as individuals, Christ is at work in each of us, using our pasts to bring us to this present, and finally forming us into wondrous creations. In Christ we are able to do so much more than we ever thought possible. In Christ, we are not as the world would see us, but ARE the wondrous creations the God would have us be.
And we also need to remember that no matter where we are, we can return home. The gifts of the Father are so much more than we could ever hope. God’s love is the “welcome” that we all want to hear, and the table is where we can still be fed.
And we need to remember that, like the older son, those who have stayed to take care of the Father’s estate, are no less loved by the Father and are called to celebrate with joy the return of those who have been gone.
We will be going through some times of transition. I am hoping that this will be a time of excitement, a time of insight, and a time of fun. But I am also guessing that there will be times of frustration, times of anxiety, and times of hurt. It is especially during these times, times when things are not going so well, that we need to remember that God is at work with us, making us into new creations. It is also at times like these that we need to remember that Christ is at work in those around us as well. We need to celebrate those around us as new creations. We need to give to others the grace and forgiveness we would hope for ourselves. As we give, we will grow.
This is a great time to be the church and it is a great time to be St. Swithins in the Swamp! I am excited to see what God has in store and I am excited to be traveling along with you! And in all things, we always need to remember, In Christ, We ARE a NEW Creation!
I have truly come to the conclusion that the world does not know how to deal us who are introverted. I want to say, "Just the facts..." I don't need to get EVERY detail in the first day.
I don't want to sound negative, but... I don't know. I think it again comes to people trying to make me feel comfortable but getting too wound up in their own "stuff." I need time to get used to my place in things and not have everyone immediately pressing upon me. I have already been told that the Youth Group wants to meet with me this Sunday. This is my FIRST Sunday! We will have plenty of time!
But also, this helps me to know what has been happening. I would assume that it was hard to get an "audience" previous priest so everyone wants to make sure they get their face-time.
There just seems to be a lot of anxiety floating around there. I experienced this in my last place. I just need to be sure to set up proper boundaries. Some people will not like that, but that is their problem.
In general, I am looking forward to being in a new place. I am also looking forward to some longevity! This moving every year is getting really old.
But...On the way home last night, the truck started making some really horrible noises. Now it is sitting in the parking lot of a Wal-Mart about 30 miles away. (Who said Wal-Mart was good for nothing?) Nick got to get out of bed and drive, through the rain, to pick me up. Now there is another bill we weren't counting on. Oh well...
I have to write a "getting to know you" piece for the bulletin at new church where I will be starting next week. I HATE writing these things. It is not that I can't do this, it is just that we have the "wife and kids" thing.
Do I not say anything? Well, that is a red flag 'cause everyone talks about their "Beautiful Wife and Three Awesome Kids." (Doesn't anyone have an ugly wife and mediocre kids?) But if I say, "I have a wonderful partner of 4 years.." immediately, some people are put off and I am not around to do any damage control.
I always wonder why it has to become such a big thing. Granted, I am gay, but it is not the ONLY thing in my life; it is not even the most interesting thing in my life. But the moment I say it, it becomes the thing people latch onto. And if I don't say anything about it, people accuse me of "trying to hide it because I am ashamed of it." Neither of these are true: it is just part of who I am, like I have brown hair and a paunch.
I don't know.
The picture at the beginning of the post is the new piece I just finished. I kind of like it! But do you know how hard it is to find male nude patterns? Female nudes are everywhere, but men are mighty sparse. And then again, comes the whole thing on the appropriateness of a priest making nudes. I don't know if I would feel the same way if this were a female nude because those are accepted by society.
I think one of the things that hangs us up as Christians is how we envision God. Psychologists have studied how we envision God and how that vision effects how we live our lives. I think one of the biggest problems is that although we mature as people, our view of God, well, has some “difficulty” in maturing. As we are growing, we tend to see God as Santa Clause, giving us things if we are good, or as a strict and intolerant dictator, keeping track of what we do right and what we do wrong. And even though we may intellectually move beyond these categories, in our heart, we often get stuck.
When we get stuck in these views of God, we can become frightened. Often, we look around at our life and our world and things seem to be falling to pieces. Sometimes, we look around, and it seems as if God is actually working against us! We look around, and instead of the blessings that we were promised, all we see is punishment.
If we think of God as Santa, or as a dictator, we can’t help but think of God as cruel. We look at the negative things happening in life and figure that this must be because of something terrible we did. But if we think about it, this is a very self-centered way to view our lives. It places us at the center of everything that is happening and doesn’t allow room for God to show any kind of love.
So how are we to see God? Aren’t we told that God is a God of justice? God is a God who will punish the sinners as they deserve? If we listen to the ones with the loudest voices, this is the general attitude that we hear. However, Jesus gives us a different way of viewing God. Jesus tells us in the gospel reading that we can, and should, think of God as a mother who is there to protect us. As such, we need to think of God, not as Santa, but as a wonderful parent; the most wonderful parent we could ever imagine. And hopefully, this image of the wonderful parent will help us to understand more about what is happening when life seems to go in directions we didn’t plan. Our scripture for today gives us some examples of how God is a wonderful parent.
In our first reading we have a kind of weird reading. My first thought about this reading is the image is of this pot of fire dancing down between the cut up pieces of animal kind of like some couple doing The Stroll at a 50’s prom. Why a fire pot is doing The Stroll between a bunch of animal corpses, I don’t know. But I don’t need to know the reason, or what it means; Abram knew what it meant and that is all that matters. See, that is what is important to remember, God-- as the most wonderful parent -- knows what we need! Now, what we need may not necessarily be exactly what we want, but because God loves us, God gives us what is best for us.
As adults, we know that sometimes our decisions are not the most popular with the younger folks around. But if we were to give in just because the kids were not pleased, we would not be doing our kids a favor. Part of our job is to keep the kids safe and to help the kids grow to their fullest. Helping our kids reach their highest potential is a very noble calling! And to our kids, we may seem to be doing all kinds of bad and nasty things, but we know that in the end, what we are doing is best for our kids.
Also, hopefully, as we have grown, we can see the wisdom in some decisions our parents made. We can see how our lack of maturity, or our impetuousness, or our stupidity, could have gotten us into a lot of trouble. And hopefully, we can now see the wisdom in our parents’ decisions and are thankful that our parents cared enough about us to incur our anger and stand strong.
God gives Abram what he needs to continue on; even if that something is a dancing fire pot. And God will give that to us to. Through God’s actions, Abram, in his old age, was about to put his faith in God and to continue on in this faith.
When we allow ourselves to change our understanding of God, we can relax into life. We can be assured that even though things may not be the way we would have them, that God, as the most wonderful parent, is watching over us. Think of what it would be like to be a child and not be able to count on your parents to care for you. It would be very scary; everything would become a danger. But when a child knows that the parent is watching and protecting, the child feels safe. Even though the child might not like the decision of the parent, the child knows that it is still safe. When we can’t trust in God, our world becomes scary, dangerous. But when we put our faith in God, the mother hen watching over us, we can be assured we will be safe.
We are entering a time of change. And, speaking for myself, it is kind of scary. It is not something that I would choose to have happen, but it is the way life is moving. The important thing to remember is that God is still with us, even in this time. As long as we keep our eyes to God, God will look over us. Jesus uses the image of the mother hen, and we need to think of this hen spreading her wings and giving us the protection we need. And if we keep our eyes open, God will give us the signs that we need. It may not be a dancing fire pot, it may not even be a giant billboard, but the signs will be there.
Just as we as parents know what to give to our children, God, the most wonderful parent, knows what we need to keep going. We just need to trust and to keep looking.
During this time of Lent, we practice our disciplines to help us to see the world in a new way. We practice our disciplines to sharpen our perceptions. We practice our disciplines to help us see the hand of God at work in our lives.
Nick has been working 10 hour days, 5 days per week for the past 3 weeks, and as you can probably guess, he is totally exhausted. I love the whole temp job thing; we work you to the bone and then offer you no job security. Actually, Nick told me that one guy who had been temping there for three years got axed. Nothing like putting the fear of God into everyone. And with the job market the way it is in Michigan, they can get away with it. Granted, the money comes in handy, but you have to wonder at what cost.
I have been moving things out of my office and can't help but compare the experience to the last time I moved out of an office. This time is under a whole different setting. I am going to be sad to leave. (Well, mostly, I am not going to be sad to say "good bye" to the treasurer, but more on that later!) I had hoped to just move stuff from one office to the other, but that is not going to be able to happen. I want to leave the office in such a way that the new person can come right in. And that may be sooner as opposed to later. (Which is good for them! They deserve it!)
I started doing my taxes and things were fine until I got to the church pay. Thanks to my "Lovely" Treasurer, I owe the government almost $1000! I talked to her about the money she was taking and she said everything was fine. That woman has cost me (in one way or another) over $2000 over the past year. Of course, she does not see how her actions have any bearing on my life. I asked about how much money was being taken out of my check and she assured me it was enough. Well, it wasn't. So now, while trying to come up with deposits and first/last month's rent, we get to find almost a $1000 to send to the banking CEO's and war profiteers government.
Otherwise, this Sunday will be my last at my current congregation. It will be sad, but I am looking forward to the next phase of life.
I said on Ash Wednesday how I really didn’t like Ash Wednesday and how I really didn’t like Lent. And having said that, I have continued to think about it. I am a priest! These things are part and parcel of what I do! I should be looking forward to these events. Yes, I like Easter and all the cheer and smiles and fun that comes with it, but I really don’t like having to go through Lent to get there.
While writing this, I thought, “Wouldn’t it be nice if we could just board a plane on Transfiguration Sunday and fly over all the nasty stuff of Lent right to Easter?” It would be nice! No Ash Wednesday, no Good Friday, no fasting, no repentance. Just a quick jump from one happy event to another. It sounds like it would be nice, but would that really be helpful to us?
About seven years ago, I drove, alone, from Iowa to Spokane. As you can imagine, it was a very long and a very tedious journey. There were times while driving through Wyoming and Montana that I thought I was going to go totally crazy. Mile after mile of road, and the only thing to keep me company was the radio and my own thoughts. It was long and it was tiring, but it was not a totally bad thing. Actually, there were some very interesting things that happened. I met people who I probably would never have met. I helped a homeless man get a step closer to finding his estranged son, and I even got to sit in a small town in Wyoming and chat with the locals as my flat got fixed. (Having a Saturn with metric tires is NOT a good thing in rural Wyoming!) But mostly, I had time to think, to pray, to contemplate what was going on in my life and what I really wanted to do with my life. Granted, I could have flown out there and had gotten to Spokane much faster, but taking the time to drive was really a very good thing.
Anymore, in life we like to avoid the difficult things. I think this ability to avoid the difficult has made Lent even more tiresome. We have so many things to help us avoid the unpleasantries of life, why should we have this 40-day stretch to remind us of them all again? I think there is a temptation to just avoid all the nastiness of life and just focus on the good things. But I think in doing that, in giving in to the temptation, we deprive ourselves of the possibility for some radical, life changing, events.
In our gospel reading for today, we have Jesus being tempted by the Devil in the wilderness. Now, we need to remember what has happened to Jesus; he was out in the desert for 40-days, which is “Bible Speak” for a “Very Long Time.” I am sure he was very hungry, very thirsty, and very tired. Oh, and he was alone during this time. My trip across Wyoming and Montana only took about a day and I was a bit crabby, imagine 40 days of this!
So, after being out in the wilderness for a Very Long Time, the Devil starts to tempt Jesus. And the Devil is very crafty about how he goes about doing this. The first thing that the Devil does is tempts Jesus with food. (Seems logical.) After food, the Devil tempts Jesus with power. And finally, the Devil tempts Jesus with being able to show off just how much power Jesus actually does has. These would be difficult temptations in and of themselves, but to be tempted with them after being in the wilderness for 40 days, well… But Jesus does not give in; Jesus stands firm and emerges victorious. Jesus goes through the wilderness and emerges, perhaps a bit worn, but successfully emerges at the end. Jesus does not avoid the temptations and difficulties of life, but proceeds through them and is stronger for it.
Now, one of the easiest ways to disregard this whole wilderness event is to say, “Well, Jesus was the Son of God. He knew he was the Son of God because he had just had it broadcast from the sky. He really didn’t suffer that much.” But that would be to disregard the fact that although Jesus was the Son of God, he was also fully human. And I am sure that the fully human Jesus was sorely tempted to make a couple of loaves of bread for himself. However, to have done that to have given into the temptations, would have been to use the power Jesus had been given for the wrong purpose. In traveling though the wilderness and fighting off temptation, Jesus, the Son, learned that he could, in fact, rely on God, the father, to care for his needs.
If Jesus would have just taken a direct flight to the end of the story, I can’t help but wonder if Jesus wouldn’t have always had questions as to his ability to resist temptations when they would be present. The human Jesus may have always wondered if he could do it. But having gone through this testing and having emerged victorious, the human Jesus could have confidence not only in his own abilities, but also total confidence in the promise of God.
I am pretty sure Jesus would have like to avoid the whole roaming in the wilderness and avoid the whole being tempted by Devil thing, but it was these experiences that helped to prepare him for the other events in his life. It was in passing through the difficult parts of the journey that gave Jesus the strength and courage to continue on the path the God had set out for him.
Our trip through Lent is very similar. Granted, we probably won’t be wandering in the wilderness for a very long time. And we probably will not have a face-to-face encounter with the Devil, but the disciplines we participate in during Lent give us the courage to trust in God and to trust in ourselves. Avoiding the quick and simple ways to Easter helps us to truly understand the gifts we have been given in this life. And sometimes when we take the way that is more difficult, we are gifted with something truly miraculous. And then when we get to the final destination, it is that much more enjoyable.
When we skip right from Transfiguration to Easter, we are missing the work that goes into the journey. We fail to appreciate the price that Jesus paid. When we make that jump, we experience what Dietrich Bonhoeffer would call “Cheap Grace:” The grace is given, but when we avoid the discipline, we really don’t know what to do with the grace. Just like the dulcimer, if I don’t take time to practice it, it is not really ever going to sound good. Lent is one of those times that we set aside to practice our faith.
Yes, we can fly right to Easter and pretend that Lent never happened. Yes, the promise of Easter will still be there, even if we don’t go through the depths of Good Friday. Yes, we can try to avoid the time in the wilderness, but we do it to our own detriment. Jesus shows us the way and begs us to follow. I may not like Lent, but I have come to appreciate the journey. There may be faster ways to get to the end, but when we follow the way of Jesus, the gift is so much more richer.
A friend of mine, a former classmate in seminary, said something very interesting today on Facebook. She said that Ash Wednesday is possibly the most honest day in the Christian year. It made me stop and think. And you know, I would have to agree with her.
Ash Wednesday is probably my least favorite day of the Christian year, and it is probably that because it is so honest. Ash Wednesday tears away all the trappings of our life and makes us look our life square in the face. There is no “prettying up” Ash Wednesday, it is what it is. It is a reminder of death. Walking around with a big black cross on your forehead is not very attractive, but it is what we subject ourselves to. We leave the church with this sign of our mortality prominently displayed for the whole world to see.
But this is the honesty that we need as humans. We need to know that death is the great equalizer. One of my professors in seminary would say that no matter who you are, it is still the same: one death per person. From the richest person to the poorest beggar, we each get only one shot at life and we each have one death waiting for us at the end. And so often I think we all would just like to forget about the “death waiting at the end” part. But when we forget about death waiting for us, it is then that we get all caught up in the silly trivialities that can steal our lives away more quickly than a drunk driver at a busy intersection. We may not like to think about it, but it is our death that gives meaning to our life.
What are the things that we most treasure in life? Do we treasure snowflakes? Do we treasure grains of sand? Do we treasure every blade of grass? I would guess the answer would be “no.” We do not treasure these things because they are exceedingly common. What we do treasure are those things that are rare and special. We treasure works of art because they are rare. We treasure our children, our friends, and our family because they are rare. We treasure our life here on earth because it will not last forever. In being reminded of our death, we are once again reminded that life is fleeting and life is rare. In being reminded of our death, we can once again honestly face what we are doing with our life.
I also do not like putting ashes on peoples’ head. The reason I do not like this is because of the honesty that is involved. One of the first times I put ashes on peoples’ heads, I almost started crying. These were people I loved! I didn’t want to think of them as dying. I wanted them to stay alive and live in joy and wonder! I didn’t want to think of them as dead. But I had to continue placing ashes on these wonderful peoples’ heads and saying those horrible words. These wonderful people were not going to live forever. Death was going to take them too. And each black cross was a reminder.
And continuing in this path of though could become unbearable. The honesty of Ash Wednesday can tear us down and leave us a sobbing mass. And it would if it weren’t for another thing that was stated on Facebook. Another of my classmates said that Lent is one of the greatest gifts we could be given.
Being reminded of our death is usually not seen as something that we would claim as a gift, but if we think about it, it truly is. In recognizing my our death and the impending deaths of those around me, it challenges me to live our my life in truly radical ways. It challenges me to say the kind word that I could have left unspoken. It challenges me to do the kind act that could have been allowed to be unperformed. It challenges me. When I do something, I am challenged; if I were to die, is that the impression I want to leave? Do my behaviors reflect the image of Christ that I want to show to the world? If this person I am dealing with were to die, would I feel I did what I could to help this person know the love of Christ? If my life were to end right now, did I do all I could to spread Christ’s love to a hurting world? Knowing that our time on earth isn’t eternal helps us to see how rare each life is and to know that this rarity makes each life truly special.
Now, being human as we are, we cannot possibly keep this frame of mind at all times. Try as we might, we get angry, upset, impatient, and in some cases, downright mean. We might try, but we are humans and we will fall short of the mark. And if this were the state of things, then Lent and Ash Wednesday would be more sadistic than a gift. If this were all there was, we would be left with this rare gift of life and the guarantee that our one shot at life would end up as a miserable failure. But this is not all there is!
The ashes of Ash Wednesday point us to Christ’s death on the cross and the world placing his body in a tomb. The ashes remind us of the futility of chasing after the things of the world. The ashes speak honestly to us of our limitations. But the gift of Lent does not reach its conclusion until its very end. It is at the end that we see the honesty of a focus on death: In Christ, death is not the final word. In Christ, we have more to the story than just dying and having it all be over. In Christ we see that the death we see in the world is not the final end and that there is still something more incredible to come!
It is also in the truth we find at the end of Lent that we find freedom. We find the freedom to live life to the fullest because we know that sins we may make along the way are forgiven! We find the freedom to try the scary because we know that we have a Savior and Redeemer who walked through the darkness, even the darkness of death, and emerged victorious! At the end of Lent, we find the strength to look at ourselves honestly and to make those changes that we realize need to be changed. And we can make those changes knowing that our loving God has already forgiven us for our sins and shortfalls!
Yes, Ash Wednesday is probably the most honest day in the Christian calendar, but it is also a day that is full of the honesty of forgiveness and redemption! It hurts to have our shortcomings made plain, but if we do not see our faults, how can we ever fix them? If we do not see where we have gone astray, how can we ever return to the fold? And if all we had to look forward to at the end of this life was an angry, judgmental God, it wouldn’t be much of a gift. But we have the promise of a God who came to be one of us and experienced life as we experienced life. We have the promise of a judge who brings forgiveness even when the world calls for payment. We can look at our shortcomings because we know that we have a God who will welcome us with open arms, even when we fail!
Yes, Ash Wednesday is honest, but it is also a promise. It is the promise of a rich and fulfilling life here on earth, a life filled with true blessings, not just fleeting fancy. And a promise of a welcome home when our time here is done. Christ calls us and then leads us. And even though the path may be dark and scary, we know we can trust and follow because Christ has already passed this way and has emerged victorious!
Transfiguration Year C Feb. 14, 2010 Exodus 34:29-35 The Rev. Benton Quest
Have you ever allowed yourself the gift of watching very young children? Have you just watched? Watched them play? Watched them encounter the world? Watched them encounter their own body? There is just a magic about them. I think the magic we see in little children is their knowledge that they are loved by God. Some of you may think I am going crazy to say that little children can know that they are loved by God. For the little tiny baby, they don’t even know that their foot is their foot! How can they know that they are loved by God?
In some ways, I think it is in childhood that we most deeply know God’s love. When we are little, we have to rely on others. We have to rely on parents, siblings, relatives, and God to take care of our needs. We are so enthralled with the new things of the world that we don’t really think what is around us, we are just enthralled in the act of living!
And when you look at a baby, they just seem to radiate a light about them. They have a smile and at the same time a determination about them. But it is in this joy in life and the exploring of life that we see the how children reveling in the love of God.
Eventually this light starts to go away. Children go into the world and learn that some things are acceptable and others are not acceptable. Children learn that to be cool, they need to talk in certain ways, wear certain clothes, do certain things. They begin to forget that they are wonderful, lovable, special creatures of God.
This process continues on throughout life. We hear that we must succeed to be valuable. We are told that unless we use Fabreeze or our house will be avoided by others. We are told that in polite company one never discusses politics or religion.
Often, by the time we are “all grown up” our light has been almost totally hidden. We have forgotten how special we are. We have forgotten how loved we are. We have forgotten that God is there for us and has been there throughout our lives. The shining face of awe and wonder we had as children gets hidden behind a veil.
In today’s first reading, we find Moses hiding behind a veil, too. Moses had been in the presence of God. Moses had been talking with the Big Guy. Now, although Moses didn’t get to see God’s face, just the sight of God’s back caused Moses’ face to become so shining that others were afraid to look at him. So in deference to the people around him, Moses kept his face covered and only removed the veil when he was in the presence of the Lord.
I wonder why Moses covers his face. The Bible tells us that it is because people are frightened by Moses’ appearance, but is that it? Were the people really frightened? Or was it that Moses didn’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable? So instead of proudly displaying the light of God, he hid it behind a veil.
We are similar in our hiding. As I stated earlier, as children we quickly learn how to bury our joy of God’s love. And as we grow we continue to keep the light behind a veil. Unfortunately, I think after a while we have hidden our light for so long that we get to the point where even we forget that the light is in us. But never doubt the light is still in you! Although Moses hid his shining face, it was still there, under the veil. Although we may have hidden our light for so long that we cannot remember what it is like, God still knows it is there and God still sees it!
We can begin to feel the light when we come before God. In our first reading we are told that although Moses kept his face covered when he was with the people, he did remove the veil when he was in the presence of the Lord. Moses could again reclaim the light in his life when he went before the Lord. We also hear in the gospel reading that Jesus was transfigured while praying. When Jesus came before God in prayer, the light that was in him then showed through not only Jesus’ face, but also in his clothing. When the world causes us to forget our light, we have a way of reclaiming that light. When we come to God in prayer, we can begin to let down our veil and begin to reclaim the light that is within us.
When we think about seeing the glory of God and the light in our lives, we have an even greater experience of God than did Moses! Although Moses had the opportunity to speak with God, Moses only had the opportunity to see the back of God. It was said that a human could not see the face of God and live. But we are here to claim the opposite! We have seen the face of God, we have even looked into his eyes! In looking at the person of Jesus, we have seen the face of God!
While they were on the mountaintop, Peter John, and James were able to see Jesus glorified. This experience changed their lives. Once they had this experience on the mountaintop, they could never go back. Even if they wanted to ignore what they saw, they couldn’t. In biblical times, three people are all you need to prove the veracity of an occurrence. So since there were three people there to witness the transfiguration, the truth of the occurrence cannot be questioned.
We first stood on the mountaintop in our baptism. It was at this time that we first experience Jesus as the Son of God, the Glorified Christ. It is at our baptism that we first experience the light of Christ. It is at our baptism where our light first shines!
Then our light is replenished by when we come together as a community to worship and when we pray alone. These practices help to ease the power our world has on us and the tendency to veil our light. When we are together as a community we can let our light shine!
It is also this light that the world needs to see. We are coming to the end of the season of Epiphany, the season of light. If you remember, Epiphany began with the light of the star in Bethlehem and it ends with the light of the Glorified Christ. We may want to keep this light to ourselves but this is not why the light came into the world. In the gospel reading, Peter wanted to create three tents or booths so that Jesus, Moses, and Elijah would stay on the mountaintop. But we are told that Peter did not know what he said. They cannot stay on top of the mountain, they must go down into the valley.
We need to go out into the world also. We cannot stay here in our beautiful church and keep the light for ourselves. We need to go out. But we also need to keep our light shining! People will be looking for the light. People need to see the light. God wants to use us to be that light to other people! My dream is that we can let our light so shine that people driving by will wonder what is going on inside. That we will be so bright in the light of Jesus that people will look at our face and wonder where the light has come from. My hope is that we will let our light shine and not put a veil over it. We are in the presence of God. We have been given this light. Let’s use our light to be that Epiphany star, that transfiguring light, to lead others to Christ.
