Showing posts with label Bodily Functions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bodily Functions. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Turd Watch
It’s time for Turd Watch!
My cat, Madeline, is not feeling so good. She has mega colon which sounds like it should be something good but in effect is not so good. The crap just starts stacking up inside the cat and won’t come out. ( I bet you all could have gone through the day without that image.) So the poor kitty starts acting lethargic and gets really clingy.
The unfortunate thing about this that it usually costs over $100 a trip to “Pop the Poop.” It can get expensive!
Right now, Madeline is in the bathroom with a litter box, food, and water. I need to know if the “gifts” I find in the litter box downstairs are hers or Claudia’s. I hope to find a whole lot of crap in the box. That would be a good thing.
If there is none, I will need to take Madeline to the vet tomorrow morning before going to the Bishop’s office. I can hope.
My cat, Madeline, is not feeling so good. She has mega colon which sounds like it should be something good but in effect is not so good. The crap just starts stacking up inside the cat and won’t come out. ( I bet you all could have gone through the day without that image.) So the poor kitty starts acting lethargic and gets really clingy.
The unfortunate thing about this that it usually costs over $100 a trip to “Pop the Poop.” It can get expensive!
Right now, Madeline is in the bathroom with a litter box, food, and water. I need to know if the “gifts” I find in the litter box downstairs are hers or Claudia’s. I hope to find a whole lot of crap in the box. That would be a good thing.
If there is none, I will need to take Madeline to the vet tomorrow morning before going to the Bishop’s office. I can hope.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
A Marvelous Machine
I find the human body to be quite the incredible thing. Just think about it: as I type, I am not jamming my fingers onto the keys, I am just using enough force to depress the key. I am not thinking about this amount of force, I am just doing it. And I am moving my fingers to the proper keys (most of the time!) without having to think about it.
Even something as small as throwing a piece of paper into the trash is a wonder of engineering. I have to weigh the object. Figure ballistic trajectory. Flex my muscles the appropriate amount and let go at the proper spot. I guess more than just engineering but physics too.
I was walking with a cup of coffee and started thinking of how I had to counter the jar of my walking to prevent the coffee from spilling. It is just amazing.
Even something as small as throwing a piece of paper into the trash is a wonder of engineering. I have to weigh the object. Figure ballistic trajectory. Flex my muscles the appropriate amount and let go at the proper spot. I guess more than just engineering but physics too.
I was walking with a cup of coffee and started thinking of how I had to counter the jar of my walking to prevent the coffee from spilling. It is just amazing.
Saturday, November 25, 2006
What Would You Do?
My friend, Ur-Spo over at Spo-Reflections does a weekly feature called, "How Does This Make You Feel." Well, I have a variation on this for today. It is
WHAT WOULD YOU DO NOW!
Ok...So, as a Christmas present to your guy, you got a tongue piercing because you have heard that a blow-job with a tongue piercing is just mind-blowing. And as a Christmas present to you he got a PA because he heard that the feel of the metal in one's nether regions is incredible.
In celebration of all your newly acquired jewelry, you immediately drop to your knees and take the newly PA'd penis into your mouth. You are rubbing the end of your new tongue piercing on the underside of your partner's penis when suddnely you partner makes a yelp of pain and you realize something is very wrong...
THE END OF YOUR TONGUE RING IS CAUGHT IN HIS PA!
What Would You Do!
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Saturday, October 14, 2006
"Battle Shits"
Here is a great scene from "Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle"
The other day when I was at work, I had to "go"! So I went to the bathroom and unfortunately, there was a person in the other stall. Well, I tried to not just let it all out but there comes a point where you really cannot moderate the rate of expulsion. So things just kind of went. Then I started to think of this scene and almost couldn't keep from laughting. Little snorts would come out between spluts and splashes. I quickly got out of there and then started to laugh once I got out of the room. I figured the guy next to me would not understand if he heard a toot and a splash and then heard uproarious laughter!
The other day when I was at work, I had to "go"! So I went to the bathroom and unfortunately, there was a person in the other stall. Well, I tried to not just let it all out but there comes a point where you really cannot moderate the rate of expulsion. So things just kind of went. Then I started to think of this scene and almost couldn't keep from laughting. Little snorts would come out between spluts and splashes. I quickly got out of there and then started to laugh once I got out of the room. I figured the guy next to me would not understand if he heard a toot and a splash and then heard uproarious laughter!
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