I really hate moving. Not only the act of packing all of one's stuff up into boxes, but the process of winnowing down the "stuff." The act of throwing the stuff away or giving it away or selling it is, in some ways, an act of death. It is realizing that some of the dreams that were held for life are no longer going to happen.
And lately it seems, the deaths have outnumbered the new births.
I am packing up my glass stuff right now. It just seems to remind me of pieces that I have not made that I want to make. It reminds me of the things that have gotten broken in other moves and wondering what will get broken in this move.
Then there is the anger that the move has to happen at all. That homophobia is still rampant in the world is just crazy. But it is homophobia that is at the base of this move. And it just seems as if no one really cares that it is there.
I feel paralyzed. I am doing Sunday church wherever I can, but that doesn't bring in a whole lot of money. I really cannot look for a job until we move, and that won't be for another two weeks or so. And so I just sit here and try not to get overwhelmed. So I guess I vent on the blog and hope that I don't scare too many of you away.
I have posted a couple of my latest projects. I am quite proud of the angel. I think the Santa is kind of fun too. I hope the pictures make up for the bummer that this blog seems to have become.
I hate doing then "When I _____, then things will get better..." but I hope that after the move things will get better. Hopefully things will not feel like they are in the constant state of limbo that they have been for the past 5 months.
Well, sleep well all. Hug someone and tell them you love them.
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