Well, we are back to where we were in mid May. Only now, we have gone through all of our savings.
The church that I was waiting for decided that they didn't want me. Oh, they thought I was a nice guy. They liked my energy and enthusiasm, they like my sermons... So what is the problem??
"We want someone with a family." What do you mean by that? "We want someone who like kids." What do you mean by that? "People with children will not want to bring them here." A-HA!
Now, the fact that I am gay was never hidden from these people. In fact, even before I was even considered here, the board was informed that I was gay. They said that it would not be a problem. Well, obviously it was. And now, since people were not honest enough to admit their bigotry, we are in the same desperate situation we were in in May; except this time, we do not have the back-up savings to rely on.
I am angry, I am hurt. I feel betrayed. I want to hurt them. I know I should forgive them, and I know that I will not seek any retaliation, but I am still pissed.
Faith says something will come of this; logic says it is all fucked.
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