Rant on Language

The state of English in the United States is horrible!

As someone who uses language as a major part of my chosen profession,and persuasive language at that, I notice so many things that just drive me crazy.

One that has been getting to me for years is the tack-on phrase, "if  you will..."  What is that supposed to mean? Any statement that has "if you will" tacked onto it would be equally valid without the annoying phrase.  The only thing I can figure is that it makes the speaker feel superior by reminding the listener that "I am dumbing this down so YOU can understand it."  And where did this phrase come from anyway?

Another is "Pre-Order."  Pre-order is walking to the phone, computer, representative to make your order.  Period.  Ok, pre-ordering may also be thinking of ordering.  However, when you are paying your money for something that you shall receive, you are ORDERING it.  Just because the book may not come out for another month doesn't matter.  You are ordering it.  You may be ordering it for future delivery, but you are ordering it!

And in the same vein, when you walk to the plane, you are pre-boarding.  When you are getting on the plane, you are BOARDING IT!  For some of us, pre-boarding involves sitting watching the First-Class people board, but the First-Class people are boarding, not pre-boarding.  Call it "early boarding;" call it "priority boarding;" just don't call it PRE-BOARDING.

We shall move on to "Prolly."  My nephew is notorious for this one.  Whenever I read it, I have to wonder if he really knows that the word is not "prolly" but "probably."  When I see things like this, I have to wonder if he has any aspirations to do anything in life that does not require a "Hi, My name is..." tag.

Next is "vacay."  Have we all become spoiled, blond, valley girls?  The word is "vacation."  Is that so hard?

From what I can tell, the only words that are one letter are "A" and "I."  "U" is an abbreviation for "University."

Is it really any harder to type "girl" as opposed to "gurl?"

"Unique" means "one of a kind."  It is not qualifyable.  If it is "very unique" or "sort of unique" then it is rare.  Unique is an "either/or" situation:  Either it is one of a kind or it is not.

Nao U prolly think I am nutz.  I will go nowwwww.