Sunday, December 19, 2010

I am so ready to quit.

I have been trying to figure how we have come to this point.

When I first come to St. Swithins, I was excited to hear that there was someone in the congregation who made stained glass.  From the pieces I had seen, I knew that this was someone from whom I could possibly learn some techniques and with whom I could share my excitement.  But I must admit that when I showed a piece to you, Former Secretary , and your first comment was that I needed to polish my solder lines, I was a bit taken aback.

Then there came the repeated calls to hire Former Secretary back as the secretary.  Even though I had made it known that I did not hire from the congregation, I was still receiving constant pressure to hire Former Secretary back.  (I was also instructed by the Bishop that I would NOT hire from the congregation, but I did not feel that this was pertinent to the conversation as this is my general mode of operation.)  It became annoying to continually explain that Former Secretary was not going to be hired back and to constantly get pressured to do so.

Although this is conjecture, there also seems to be some connection between the difficulties with Stage Mom that was getting played out with the Secretarys.  I was not told about Stage Grandma’s surgery, but then I was getting blamed for not visiting her.  How could I visit if I did not know the surgery was going to happen?  Shortly after this, Former Secretary Husband decided that I needed to visit Fr. Alcoholic.  And later, Former Secretary Husband decided that I needed to visit people from the congregation.  And then after the “ambush,” he asked me to hire back Former Secretary.  I was confused as to why I would want to hire back Former Secretary after being ambushed in BC.

Things seemed to calm down for a while.  A new secretary was hired and went to work.  But shortly thereafter, Former Secretary Husband spent one Sunday morning going through the files.  I was not sure why, but I was not going to ask; I assumed it was something to do with Junior Warden activities.  Later, Former Secretary Husband presented me with some papers telling me that the new secretary needed a contract.  My understanding was that this was not necessary and if Former Secretary Husband would have asked at BC, this would have been cleared up.

I had also been troubled that Former Secretary Husband and Former Secretary appeared to look at Current Secretary’s office as their own space.  Granted, the office had been Former Secretary’s while she was the secretary, but the computer and files were not just open to anyone.  I know that the files are open to BC members, when Former Secretary Husband had gone through the files for what appeared to be the express intent to make hiring the new secretary difficult, I was troubled.

Then came the conversation about the stained glass in the sanctuary.  I moved the glass with specific purposes in mind.  (That purpose was to paint the window for Christmas.)  Former Secretary came to me and told me that she did not like the fact that the glass had moved.  She said that the glass was in the east window so that the sun would come through it.  I explained that the glass was not proper sized for the windows and that since the glass had moved, people seem to be more involved with it; seeing it and appreciating it.  Former Secretary said that the glass should be moved back and I thanked her for her opinion but the glass would not be moved.

It was shortly after that the “beading incident” occurred.  That it was not even considered to check with me to see if the timing was ok and that the building was open totally boggles me.  This just seems like something that would occur.  Granted, that was an assumption that I made, and I would have assumed that this was an innocent mistake except for one thing:  The sign-up sheet. 

When I returned from vacation, I found the sign-up sheet for the beading workshop on the bulleting board in such a way that it was covering the note that I put on the board saying that use of the building had to come through the secretary’s office.  The way the sign-up sheet was placed, there is no way that this could have happened “accidentally.”  The push-pins were removed from the original sign, then the sign-up was place over it, and the original push pins were put back in.  I tried to see this as an “accident,” but all I could see is it was as disrespectful and a direct attack on my leadership of this church.

Then there was the ambush by Former Secretary Husband at the BC meeting following the vacation.  Did I send out letters?  Did I call people?  As with the situation involving Stage Grandma, it seemed to be too coincidental that I would go against Former Secretary’s wishes and an ambush from Former Secretary Husband would appear.  I will admit that this is conjecture, but again, there seems to be a correlation.

I was surprised to have Board Member bring up the need for a calendar.  I was trying to figure out why Board Member would need the calendar, she did not seem to do anything that would require consulting the calendar.  Again, it felt like some trap was being set.

I was also surprised that throughout all of the “Beading Incident” one key person was remarkably quite: Former Secretary.

Then came the “Family Fun Night Incident.”  Granted, the calendar was not back out, but the calendar seems to be metaphor for something else that is going on.  There is too much drama over this to have it “just be about the calendar.”  The question about whether Church of God was going to use the building again felt like a trap.  Committee Chair was in charge of set-up and had already talked to Cong. Pres.  Current Secretary was in all week if people needed to know the building usage.  The usage calendar was on the bulletin.  But I was told (granted, this was from Board Member) that Current Secretary should have known to call the Women’s Fellowship and let them know.  (This just does not make sense to me.)  Then when I walked out, Former Secretary and Board Member were staring at the bulletin board, at the spot where the calendar was.

I said the calendar was not coming back.  Well an argument ensued.  I decided that I would rather leave the situation and regroup then to say something to Former Secretary that I would later regret.  Former Secretary accused me of “not communicating” and for turning my back on her.  I explain that I did not want to say anything that I would regret.  Instead of leaving it at that, she decided to push the situation.  And, unfortunately, I said some things that I regret; not that I would not have said them, I just would have said them in a more appropriate way.

I put on my coat to leave and Former Secretary said that maybe she should leave.  I did not stop her.  Again, if felt like I was being set up.

The Bishop came and talked about how we needed to move beyond our past and how we needed to look at what we are doing to each other.

As soon as the Bishop left, Former Secretary Husband claimed that Former Secretary was innocent in the situation and that I better never speak to her in that manner again.   And Board Member said again that Current Secretary should have called the Women’s Group and let them know because this was my “big show.”  So much for the message of the Bishop!

I quit!

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