Sunday, June 27, 2010

Another Sleepless Night

The usual response will be:  Just deal with it.  I know I should, but I hate how this thing is just floating out there.  No kind of closure.  And although this may sound melodramatic I feel like I am walking in a field of landmines.  I am not sure what will set off the next one.  Quite frankly, I hate it.

I see no way of this ending in a win-win situation.  The family involved has made no attempt to show any remorse at their behavior.  In fact, they have been trying to defend it and say that I am the bad one in the situation.  I am not going to change practices just because one person does not like it.  I have gotten positive feedback about what has been happening and if one person does not like it, well, I guess that is too bad.  What I hate is this tip-toeing around trying to figure out what is happening.

I don't foresee is woman and her daughter ever seeing me as the leader.  As such, all she will do is bring anxiety into a system that is anxious enough.  And if it comes down to then having a problem with me, well, there are always other churches.  That sounds harsh, but we cannot survive if everyone wants to be leader.

I am getting really sick of not sleeping.  And I know I should "Let Go and Let God."  Maybe I am just not build for this calling.  I see macaroni and glue sculptures in my future.  When you come to visit, just don't bring anything sharp.

2 comments:

Lemuel said...

What I am about to write, Benton, I mean kindly and without intent to hurt, but in a sense you are lying to us. You *do* care about these people and about reconciling the estrangement that has occurred in this situation. All of that says good things about you - writ large!
But one thing I think you must accept: there will be no remorse from this family. It is obviously not in their DNA.
Seek the Spirit. Hold your head high and continue to do what you know is right. You will not always successfully touch others. Some will not respond. Some soil is fertile; but much of it is barren and rocky. Plant or water as you are led. Growth is up to God. Take comfort, as I often did, that our Lord himself only batted 500 from the cross.

Bear Me Out said...

Don't expect them to back down. give up hoping they will. Just stay calm and firm, and don't back down, either. they will adjust, or leave (let's hope for the latter).