My Own Private Hell

I keep running into things that remind me about what was happening a year ago. Because of the way the church year runs, I am dealing with the anniversaries of the writing and sending of The Letter, my final sermon, and the seventh anniversary of my ordination all at the same time.

Last year they were somewhat spread out, but this year they are all almost right on top of each other. I was going to save my sermon for this week and realized that I couldn't save it as pentecost 9 because there was already one there. When I checked what else was pentecost 9, I came face to face with the last sermon I gave to my former congregation.

A year has already passed.

There is a line from the song What About Me by a one-hit wonder band called Moving Pictures which kind of sums up what I am feeling:

And now I'm standing on the corner, all the world's gone home
Nobody's changed, nobody's been saved
And I'm feeling cold and alone
I guess I'm lucky, I smile a lot
But sometimes I wish for more than I've got...

Maybe I expected too much from my leaving. Maybe I expected change that will never come. Maybe I expected affirmation that will never come. Maybe I expected justice from an unjust system.

The sermon for this Sunday is about prayer, especially the Lord's Prayer. And I will be standing in front of a group of people telling them how they need to be patient and wait on God. That God will give them what they need when they need it.

Preacher, preach to thyself!