Wednesday, July 01, 2009
Well, my charmed homo existence has come to an end.
I seemed to have had the family that most dream of. I came out to them with little or no repercussions. Nick and I went to stay at my parents' house last summer and were allowed to stay in the room in the basement with no problems. As I said, I seemed to have the dream coming out.
But all of that seems to have changed.
I called my oldest sister to discuss a possible wedding since Iowa is more enlightened than the rest of the country, and since my family lives there, I thought it would be nice to share this my family. She seemed strangely distant when I told her but I didn't really put much more thought into it. My sister has always been supportive of me and has always been kind to Nick.
Then the next day, I got a call from my sister. She told me that she thought if I got married, it would kill my dad. That I would be upset when no one showed up at the wedding. And how dare I come there, stir things up, and then leave her to deal with the aftermath.
My sister had never made me feel ashamed before. But at that moment, I was devastated. I was not trying to rabble rouse, I just wanted to share a wonderful part of my life with my family. Was she implying that I should wait until Dad died? I know that people can't hurt us unless we let them, but that really hurt me. I trusted my sister. I feel possibly irreparable damage has been done to our relationship.
I really want to just cut my family off and go on with my life. I know that is not healthy, but ...
My sister married a guy who was a drug addict and was cheating on her. She now lives with a guy even though she claims to be Roman Catholic.
My brother is married to "the nicest manipulative bitch" I have ever met. She does nothing to raise the kids because she is off partying. She won't even visit my parents when my brother comes over.
My other sister married an abusive alcoholic who committed suicide. Then married another good old boy who made us delay the wedding so he could finish his beer.
And me wanting to marry the man I love would kill my father? Oy Vey!